Cult
by A Pin Drop
Summary: Axel is an undercover agent investigating a cult. But can he do it alone? Especially when 'alone' means not alone but with the help of an innocent, unknowing, utterly beautiful true believer. Staying loyal isn't always so easy. Axel/Roxas Officially M
1. Chapter 1

CULT

"And from Twilight City; Stephen Jones: missing, Maria Cassidy: missing, Henry Philips: a runaway also missing, Katie Miller: missing, John O'Henry: yet another runaway also missing," growled Special agent Xigbar Adams, flinging the folder he was reading from onto the closest desk to him. The agents in the room flinched at the harsh slap it made against the wooden desk.

"How," Agent Adams shouted angrily at his team of agents; these supposed 'intelligent' people. "How," he repeated, "Did we not notice that all these people in our district just disappeared?! In the last month, twenty-two people went missing! Presumably to 'The Sun Children'," he jeered the name out as if it was particularly nasty curse. "Why didn't we know about this, huh? This 'Cult'," he said the word with air quotes, "is living in out in our back yard and yet we have no idea who's leading it, how many people are in it, or what its goal is!" Adams used his one eye to glare around at his agents, all of them looking sheepish, like school-children who dont particularly know the answer. "Well?!" Adams roared.

Agent Zexion Gray took a sip of whatever girlish coffee combination everyone was sure he drank before answering calmly. "Well first off, missing people isn't exactly our forte," he said cautiously, slowly. "It's the job of local police to handle missing persons. Since they saw no connection in the missing people it's near to impossible that we could have been aware of this." Zexion took another calm sip and followed up with, "Besides we don't know if _all _of those people have joined the Sun Children, they might have just runaway to another city or possibly be…" he paused, pursing his lips at the idea, "Murdered and the case hasn't been solved or been recognized. People go missing everyday but just because they go missing now shouldn't mean that they will automatically be found within the Sun Children."

Adams nodded his head, his anger now dissipated with other the agents participating and suggesting their theories. "That could be true, any other possibilities? Axel!"

Said man jumped to attention. With a slightly scared look he ran a hand through his bright red hair to quickly gather his thoughts about the information that Adams had told him and what Zexion just said. "Well, part of why we weren't aware could be that… no one had come forward with information." He slowly said, each word popping out as if unintended. Axel leaned forward on his cluttered desk to continue, becoming more animated as thoughts kept coming in. "Since there has been only _one_ allegation, that we don't even know is true to begin with, we can assume that the…cult…could be a simple peaceful gathering of like minded individuals living together. If that's the case there is no reason for citizens to come forward about since the Sun Children are not bothering anyone or causing trouble for the city." Axel paused to take in the facial expression of his fellow agents and Commanding officer. Feeling no more anger in the air than normal he quickly ended, "That could be why weren't made aware, there was nothing to be made aware if."

"Every social group of 'like minded people'," immediately started agent Kairi Freah giving Axel a look of slight contempt, "Or rather a CULT should be _immediately_ reported to the authorities."

Axel shot her a look, swiveling his chair to glare at her better. "I am aware of that; I was merely stating a possible reason as to _why_ it was not." Kairi turned her own chair and set a hard look at her face. She was fully prepared to rebuke him when Zexion spoke up again.

"Well according to the statement from…" Zexion paused from flipping through several sheets of paper, an amused expression coming onto his face. "A Mr. Murkey." Axel and he shared a look and a stifled man-giggle. Kairi sunk in her chair and rolled her dark blue eyes, gently massaging her temples, extremely pained at this exchange. Hmpf. Boys.

Adams quickly slapped Axel behind the head. He fixed Zexion with a stern look that ended the laughter. Zexion cleared his throat and continued. "From his statement he made it sound as if the organization is very secretive…They only come out of confines to recruit. Even then, it's for two or three days, a few hours a day. It could be that the civilians really don't know about it." he proposed. "Murkey said that nearly everyone who approaches them joins. So no one _is able to come forward." _Zexion flipped through the papers again. Flip, flip. "He also said that," flip. "there was currant sexual abuse of its members." Zexion paused to look at the agent in charge. "But because it's only his word we do not know if it is true or not, if we can trust him." Zexion went back to looking at the papers. Finally, he threw them down with uncharacteristic rage. "And with his record…" he trailed off angrily, clearly upset that their only lead could be lying through his teeth.

"With his record of fraud and violence we can't simply just accept his allegation as truth. With just his word I don't believe we have grounds for a full investigation." Kairi amended, feeding of Zexion's frustration and adding it to her own. "We need _evidence_ and Murkey can't give it to us. This could just be some fantastic hoax he made up."

"Except for the fact that he knows what he's talking about," Axel butted in. "There are too many details here and hardly any differentiation in his statements. The things he says fits in with accounts of cults. Ones that aren't on the television every night but hiding away in their little community." Axel himself flipped through a few pages of the report before becoming bored and fixing his commanding officer a look. "I'm very sure he is telling the truth. At least some part it, and even just one part of this is worth investigation," he said, twirling a pen in his fingers. "If we want to know what this…" he paused. "cult… Is about we can't just wait for more people to come forward. We need to get in there ourselves to decide whether this is a perfectly normal group of people…like…like hippies living in the forest or something." Adams scoffed and rolled his one eye making Axel grin. Xigbar thought he was on to he was against it Axel wouldn't still be talking. "Or if it's a dangerous organization endangering the lives of its followers." Axel stopped there, letting Xigbar take the floor. For a long while, he said nothing and simply stared at the pile of missing persons. Kairi and Zexion said nothing, preferring to let their leader decide for them.

Finally, Adams stepped back to grin savagely at his team. "That's a good idea you got there Axel. To go see for ourselves if this Murkey guy's story is indeed….murky." Adams let out a rough sounding smokers laugh. "Its seems we need an inside man."

"How do you suppose we do that?" questioned Kairi. "Murkey said that the cult is very picky in who they chose. We might not be able to infiltrate it."

"Or they might not be recruiting at all for awhile. We simply don't have enough information about their recruiting process." Zexion stated, downing the rest of his coffee cup.

"Oh but we will," mused Adams. "I believe this calls for our favorite little game called 'interrogation'." He said as he walked out of the briefing room. Axel shouted joyfully and pumped his arms in glee, nearly skipping after the special agent. Kairi rolled her eyes at his behavior, choosing to instead a lady-like departure after the two. Zexion stayed a moment longer, reading over the rantings of the ex-cult member John Murkey one more time. He sighed and eventually began his slow walk to the interrogation room, where they had made Murkey sit for over six hours. He was sure to be near the breaking point.

It ought to be good.

----

When Axel was a boy, he watched a movie that changed his life. He was eight years old at the time and was immediately fascinated by the 1963 movie _From Russia With Love. _He sat as close to the TV as his mother allowed and soaked up every witty line, gun fired, and babe wooed by Bond, James Bond. From that day on Axel knew what he wanted to be when he grew up.

A spy.

The very thought filled him with a fluttery feeling in his stomach. To be as smooth as James Bond. That was his dream. He desperately wanted to fly across the world, protecting beautiful women, obtaining priceless information, and beating up all the bad guys that got in his way. He desired to tell everyone that he was just an… an accountant or something, and leaving early from whatever family reunion he was at to go save the world, save them, from some evil dictator controlling a wealthy country that had nuclear warheads.

After finishing four years of college and following all the rules, he was recruited to a job extremely close to his dream. FBI agent. Now, his fascination with the high security job wasn't his only reason for desiring it. After years and years of research (television) he came to understand what the workers do for their country, how they protect it. Maybe it was some need to be masculine, to protect something, anything. He wanted to work for the people.

To make a difference in the world.

A small time James Bond, if you will.

Moreover, Axel liked it. He enjoyed the job immensely. His team was like having another brother and a sister, his boss more like another father. The job made him grow up. He knew how the world was now. How evil and corrupt it could be. And how beautiful it was. Axel just wanted to help his country out, in any way he could.

Like investigating dangerous cults. Axel and his two of his team members stood behind the one-way window. On the other side they watched Xigbar, calm and kept together, missing his savage smirk, question the man, Mr. Murkey (the thought still made Axel smile a little), about the cult. The calm questions running out of Adams mouth was making the man shake slightly. Adams didn't need his savagery on his face to intimidate the man.

He had scars on his face from battlefield and an eye patch from an incident several years ago when an enemy shot through a large window and a shard lodged itself in his eye. These scars were enough to give anyone the heebie jeebies and was enough to make retire from the field and take a desk job. This did not sit well with Xigbar Adams who pulled every string he had to get a job with as much legroom as he could get. Thus, he was made a special agent for the FBI looking over a team over three agents, all young, all impressionable and all extremely intelligent and clever as a fox. At least that's what Axel liked to think.

"One minute." Axel declared, handing over a five-dollar bill to Zexion. Kairi huffed and handed over a five herself.

"I'll give him six minutes. This guy survived a cult; he must be tougher than he looks." But she flinched and slumped in posture when Xigbar slapped down hard on the table and came very close to Murkey's face. The man was stone still as he listened to whatever Xigbar was whispering into his ear. "…Is it too late to change my mind?" Zexion fixed her a hard look.

"Definitely too late."

Axel cackled out loud, as Murkey began to talk a mile a minute, frantically spilling the beans. "Oh yeah! Hahahah! Boooya! Howabout them apples Kairi?"

"Axel wins." Zexion softly declred, handing over the ten dollars which the bright red-head pocketed with a wide grin. He cackled again at Kairi's expression as the 'cult survivor' began to slightly cry a little bit. Xigbar definately looked pleased with himself.

"You just have too much faith in the accused, Kai." She made a annoyed noise and once again rolled her eyes. "Such a drama queen too." Kairi scoffed and quickly slapped him behind the head. Axel cried out a little. "Oh, c'mon. I got bruises there now," he pouted.

"Stop whining, Axel. Adams' is done now." Axel tsked her leaving back and focused on Murkey.

"You think this guy is for real?" he asked Zexion. The slate-haired man moved to the window to watch Murkey, who was no longer crying but sitting very still gazing at the wall. "I mean, this kind of thing is usually made clear to us as soon as one pops up. I mean, we're the FBI," Axel insisted. "We would know about this kind of thing."

Zexion stood silent.

Axel continued nonetheless. "I want to believe he is lying. Is that weird?"

"_You_ are extremely weird." Zexion stated bluntly, like saying the sky was blue or the grass green. Axel guffawed, scoffing laughter spilling from his mouth. Zexion joined in shortly before composing himself and slapping Axel over the head. "We are the FBI Axel. We do not _doubt_ ourselves. We will know everything soon enough." Zexion walked away from the one-way window and out the observation door, calling behind him, "Come on, Axel. Adams is waiting. And Kairi's there, ass kissing. We have to be there before she gets all the good parts of the job." Axel ran up to join him and they both cracked jokes about Kairi as they walked the halls of the field office.

Axel could feel the nervous humming in his bones and gut. This would be his first undercover job.

Axel didn't know it yet, but it would also be his last.


	2. Chapter 2

Cult

By the time the Axel and Zexion reached the briefing room Kairi was, as expected, already diligently sitting at her desk but, unexpected, Special Agent Adams was not present. Axel even turned a full circle to make sure the man wasn't going to storm into little cubby hole and smack him across the head as greeting.

Axel tsked loudly. "See what happened Kairi? You finally scared him away with your…'charisma'. Now we'll never know what happened with old man Murkey."

The wine haired woman snorted. "Adams went to the Director to get permission for the investigation." She smartly informed him. "If you two were a little more attentive in quickly getting to your workspace you would know that."

Zexion rolled his eyes at the both of them and took his seat, settling in for the verbal boxing match sure to come. But Kairi didn't follow up with another smart remark as she started to busily type away. Put off, the bright red haired field agent sat at his own desk. A moment passed with Kairi busily typing away, Axel busily tapping away an impromptu song and Zexion watching Kairi typing and Axel tapping. Finally the red haired man became bored with tapping and swiveled his chair toward her and stared. Just stared. Didn't say anything, just stared. And stared and stared. Eventually this started to breach the girl's paranoia levels as she kept glancing back at him every few moments, growing increasingly irritated. After six minutes and twenty-nine seconds of this, Zexion knew this as he absently decided to time it how long it took for her to actually say something, she whipped around to face him.

"_What do you want Axel_?" She spat out. He bugged his eyes out at her, amazement coming over his handsome face.

"Well it's about time. Been sittin' here lookin' at your increasingly mean lookin' mug wondering just what it is you could possibly be doing to cause you such _irritation_." His voice slowed and hurried in places, picking up such fake inflection at the end, it came off caustic. Zexion softly chuckled, hiding his smile from the girl behind one hand.

But Kairi shook it off like an expert. Spending a year in the FBI field office in Twilight City with Axel made her almost immune to his 'humor'. Not totally immune but getting there. Spending a year with them also made her like her new team, even though they irritated her at times, so she indulged Axel and let off some steam at the same time.

Kairi let out a frustrated breath. "Well, I've been doing more research on that cult… And even though I'm checking even the most underground of sources I can't find a piece of information, not a smidge." Kairi looked back and forth between her fellow agents. "I mean, how can that be? Even if they were a… a group of 'like minded people' they would have some sort of record or info about them in order to find other like minded people. Some cults these days have gone into the cyber world to lure in more people, like advertising their own twisted brand a vacation package, right?"

While Axel lazily put his feet up, looking at her unimpressed as he already had this epiphany, Zexion seemed interested in tossing around theories with her. The slate haired man rested his chin on his interlocked hands, thoughtfully considering her findings. "Well," he started. "From the initial report taken from Murkey's questioning he made it out to seem that recruitment and information travels mostly by way of word. If that's the only way they find more people it's quite possible that there _would_ be no record of it on the internet."

"Not even escapees?" She insisted. "Surely someone would come home from having that sort of experience would, I don't know, _talk about it_? I would think that family and friends would make the organization known if their loved one suddenly came home after disappearing for years and started talking about crazy rituals, worshipping the devil and cults." Kairi shook her head, several pieces of hair coming loose from her bun. "It just doesn't make sense."

"Okay well first," Axel held up his index, giving Kairi a look. "I think you're really hung up on this devil worshipping cult thing. There's between 3,000 and 5,000 neutrally-defined sociological 'cults' and only about 200 of those have actually been reported partaking illegal activity and only twenty have been reported as destructive cults. That means that at very, very least there are two thousand seven hundred and eighty sociological groups that are perfectly law abiding. Just because a few of those group leaders became crazy with power doesn't mean that every single cult is participating in mass suicides or orgies." Axel snorted and held up his middle finger along with his index. "Two. Most cults shun the usage of technology…and usually modern medicine but that's whole other story." He said hurriedly, already holding up another finger. "Three. I also think its weird no one has any information on this at all. Have you checked inside the bureau? It could be it's under top-security clearance. Which we have." Axel gloated. "Could just have to dig a little more."

Kairi blew out an even more frustrated breath. "I hate going through the bureau. There's so much crap lying around, it takes forever to go through."

"Now, now, Kai. You'll never make official field officer with _that_ attitude." Axel warned in a cheery voice. Zexion laughed at this but abruptly stopped at the female agents' glare.

"Myah myah myah you'll neva make offacer wif dat attude he says. Pfft," Kairi childishly mimicked under her breath. "How do you know so much about this anyway? I thought you said you've never gone undercover."

Axel clicked his tongue. "I haven't." She frowned, furrowing her dark red eyebrows together.

"Well okay. Are you going to answer my first question?"

"Nope." Taken back by this, Kairi looked at him in shock because Axel loved to tell her stories about how he required his useful and useless information. She shrugged it off and started clicking and typing away again.

Her question had, in fact, struck a nerve, in both male agents. Zexion leaned back in his chair, a melancholy expression coming over both his and Axel's face while Kairi wasn't paying attention. Zexion was the first to snap out of it, giving Axel a small, almost not even there, smile which Axel half-heartedly returned.

Axel thought back to three years ago when he was first assigned to the Twilight City FBI field office with two others. Zexion Gray and Lexaeus Andre. Zexion Gray was even mousier than he is now, he looked small and fragile and unsociable what with half his face being hidden by a long fringe of hair. He was handsome in a sort-of malnourished way. Lexaeus Andre was very tall, very big and very muscular. Axel wondered if he could snap an arm by simply squeezing a bit harder than normal. Lexaeus wasn't handsome in the usual classic American way or in the Zexion way. With short combed back wavy hair and extreme muscular build he was handsome in that 'I'm a Spartan warrior!' way. Axel felt oddly normal around the both of them. He was handsome sure, but in a normal classic sense, the only thing unique about him was his combination of natural bright red hair and light green eyes.

His two teammates were both quiet at the beginning; Lexaeus's more out of lack of anything to talk about while Zexion's was out of insecurity and shyness. Their first mission together quickly took care of that. They were told by their team leader that they would be investigated a cult about twenty miles out from Traverse Town, which was about an hour away from Twilight City.

Their team leader, a coarse, cynical, war veteran Xigbar Adams made them research every little bit of information they could find about cults in general and then about this one in particular, so that the boys knew what they were dealing with. After two days of researching Axel knew just about everything there was to know about the cult, called Divinity, and still nothing about his teammates.

Axel had taken their silence as arrogance and that they didn't want to talk to him. He sniffed, thought, _Fuck 'em. _He felt ashamed when he learned the real reasons and chastised himself for writing people off so quickly.

It turned out that Divinity was run by a maniac who had a record for fraud and several accounts of violence, was listed as a sexual predator and was accused by several women that he was using his followers for sex, drugging them either with his charm or Rohypnol. This was one of those cults that when taken down, gets smashed across 9 am news for months, filling every household with shock as the trails went on.

The teams' mission was to do surveillance and catch him in the act. Someone higher up planted several bugs and a tiny, FBI camera and basically scoped out the place before disappearing from Divinity's ranks.

Xigbar had informed them that they would be going down to the listing spot together, without him. He said something about 'learning to call the shots yourself' at the time but later admitted he didn't want to get poison ivy on his ass again, which for the record every single one of the new agents got. Axel was in pure itching hell for two weeks when he came home.

They set up camp, exchanging only a few words here or there, mostly 'Can you hand me that?' and 'Thanks'. The ice breaker came when Axel, after sitting in the non-descript van for an hour and a forty minutes _really had to go _and excused himself to take a piss in the woods. Finding a far away enough tree, Axel quickly unzipped, groaning in relief.

He started whistling, wondering if James Bond ever had to do this. Probably not, if James Bond ever had to go to the bathroom it was usually to take out some special gadget or apprehend some bad guy on the way there or use the space to make out/interrogate some babe or actually skip the bathroom entirely and go take over the plane because he had to be in Russia pronto. In his musings Axel dropped his guard and didn't notice a little forest creature closing in on him.

The raccoon, it seems, had been enjoying sleeping in the tree Axel was in the process of marking. The man's whistling alerted the animal that something was not quite right. The raccoon had just meandered out to investigate and spotted Axel just when Axel spotted him. The red haired man's jaw fell open in a mixture of shock and horror, but still urinating. The raccoon must've took this as a threat as it hissed, bearing its sharp teeth. _All the better for biting off your dick my dear_, Axel thought. The raccoon lunged and Axel well…..

He screamed like a little girl and then cursed like trucker. Axel fell backward, stumbling over the slacks piled at his ankles, which made him yell in terror as he was now on the same playing field as the beast. His gun was attached to his belt which was at his feet. Of course the fact that Axel even had a gun was flung from his mind as the raccoon skittered forward, protecting it territory, sharp teeth just waiting to _bite his motherfucking cock off_. Axel was so petrified by the extreme vulnerability he felt at the hands of a not-even-one-and-a-half-feet-tall-standing-straight-up raccoon.

Luckily, his screaming and cursing alerted both Lexaeus and Zexion, who looked at each other in bewilderment before sprinting off to find their fellow agent, the need to protect their team mate strong. They envisioned several scene they could witness, Axel being eaten by a bear, gotten shot by hunters, that their location was betrayed to the cult members who bludgeoned the red head to death when they found him, or perhaps he had somehow shot himself in the foot and needed to be taken to the nearest hospital right away, _they just didn't know, _but they were prepared for the worst.

So imagine their surprise when they found Axel, petrified, kicking his way backwards across the forest floor with his pants at his ankles screaming his head off because of a little _raccoon_, which scurried off as soon as the two men approached. Axel sat there panting for a moment, making sure the animal wasn't returning before slowly looking at his two team members, face red as his hair.

Lexaeus busted out laughing, clutching his sides, the sounding booming through the forest. The laughter spread to Zexion who joined it with gusto but skipped Axel entirely, reddening impossibly more while pulling up his slacks. He felt like a fool.

"HA-HAH! Ahhhhhhahaaaa… You 'fraid of just a little raccoon, Axel?" wheezed Lexeaus, almost but not quite done laughing, slight southern accent slipping off his tongue. Zexion was still going strong. The red head glared at the two of them, successfully buckling up and standing.

"The _little raccoon _was going to bite my junk off!" He defended. "You weren't the one in danger of being castrated! Stop laughing! It isn't funny." Axel glowered, trying to stomp past them but Lexeaus caught his arm in a strong grip. Lexeaus was at least twice his size; Axel knew he couldn't pull away if he tried.

"Don't mean any harm. What would you do if you found me like that? Huh?" The large man softly inquired. He was wearing a grin but wasn't unkind. "I would hope you would do the same." Axel scoffed but eventually he grinned too. The embarrassment was lessening now that he knew Lexeaus was laughing with him. Sort of. Zexion was still snickering into his palm though he nodded in agreement with what Lexeaus said. Axel rolled his eyes.

"Yeah well, glad to be your entertainment for the evening, I'm here all week. Literally." The smallest of the three, Zexion, finally got hold of himself. He glanced up at Axel and Lexeaus through the fringe that covered half his face. The scene seemed to knock all the nerves out of him.

"You know, this wasn't exactly what I was expecting when I got agent, were you? I mean, spying on people." The short man laughed. "It feels like I'm back doing grunt work." They all laughed, recounting all the things they went through to just get up in ranks only to be doing the same exact thing. How ironic. The raccoon incident was forgotten as they walked back to the camp and was only brought up later when they wanted to embarrass Axel.

During the week they spent doing 'surveillance'(they spent more time chatting than actually watching the screens), Axel found out that Lex (what Lexeaus insisted the others call him as he confessed he thought his full name was kind of embarrassing) and Zexion (who did not appreciate being called Zex) both liked soccer and everyone enjoyed watching baseball. He discovered that Lex once ate twenty hotdogs in a row and Zexion hated movie theater popcorn and Axel confessed to eating an entire jar of mayonnaise as part of a bet for _ten dollars_. Axel found out that Lex was from a huuuuuge family while Zexion and he were both only children. Lexaeus liked to watch sunrises. Zexion could eat pizza every meal, every day and he once did for three weeks. The short man admitted to being shy around new people, something that didn't surprise the other two. They spent the entire week telling stories and laughing until, unfortunately, they caught the cult leader in action.

Dang it.

The ride back was different than last. This time around it was filled with conversation. By the time they got back to head quarters it seemed like the three had known each other forever. Zexion had completely come out of his protective turtle shell and it became hard for Axel to think of the man as a recluse now that Zexion was comfortable around them.

And Lex. Lexaeus was extremely friendly once he had something to talk about. If you had something, anything, in common with the giant of a man he would just light up, happy to talk to you. Lex was just the kind of guy everyone got along with and everyone wanted to be around because he was just so _friendly_. The man invited them to his family parties and get-togethers, something even Zexion came to enjoy. Lexaeus made Zexion his person project, trying to get him to be friendlier to new people. The three spent so much time together it was like they were brothers and Lexaeus liked to call them such. It made Axel and Zexion glow as they never had a brother.

And that made it just that much harder when he died.

The last mission they went on together was supposed to be easy, just escort the high profile drug dealer back to HQ to be interrogated. It wasn't supposed to end the way it did. There was a sniper, on top of a building not fifty yards away. He was trying to hit the dealer so he couldn't talk. But Lexaeus, that heroic fool, leaped in front of their charge. The drug dealer survived that day but Lex never saw another sunrise. The entire team, fortunately or unfortunately, was together when it happened. Adams shot at the sniper in rage, actually hitting him, while Zexion and Axel ran to their friend. They gripped his big hands hard, told him he was okay, everything was going to be alright, stay with me, all the while crying like babies. They called for an ambulance but by the time it got there Lexaeus was gone. Just like that.

Axel had never cried so hard, or been so mad, or felt guilt to this extent. He knew Zexion felt the same, maybe more, maybe less. They didn't like to talk about it. Axel still had horrible nightmares about that day, the type that make you wake up in a cold sweat, heart thumping erratically, and made you shit scared.

Axel still thinks of Lexaeus like a brother. He loves Zexion like a brother. Xigbar like a crazy as shit father.

Kairi. He presently looked at her typing away, sifting through the endless stockpile of data.

Axel had been reluctant to get to know her well, still reeling from Lexaeus's sudden death, but the little bugger was persistent. Axel supposed loved her like a little sister. One he needed to do his best to protect. He wouldn't fail this time. Not again. He couldn't take it again.

He spied Zexion gazing at the girl too. Their eyes met, small sad smiles.

Kairi groaned, ruining the moment. "There is nothing in here. And how long does it take to ask for permission to an undercover mission?" She whined and winced as Adams came around the corner and smacked her on the head.

"Don't whine like a baby." She pouted. "Don't pout."

"So what's the verdict?" Zexion quietly asked. Adams glanced his way before sitting down and clicked on his computer, something he hardly ever does.

"Start workin' on a few covers. We got the mission." He said gruffly.

Axel and Zexion blinked in surprise. "But what did you find out from the interrogation?" Kairi pushed. "It'll help with making our personas. So we know what the Sun Children are looking for." Adams fixed her with an irate look before letting out a long suffering sigh.

"Well for one they actually call their society Sunshine Fields. They want people who have mostly nothing or no one, like most cults. Little to no friends, little to no family, no pets. People who can gain from, and thus the cult gain from, living in a community like theirs. Like able bodied homeless, runaway teenagers, hookers, stressed out people." Kairi laughed.

"Stressed out people? Really?"

Adams glared. Axel said nothing, recognizing this as the face of someone who just dealt an extremely hard assed director. "Yes." He spit out. "Its amazing what people who deal with too much shit every single god damned day will do for some quiet time." He gave her a pointed look. She took the hint.

Axel was the last to turn his computer on. What kind of person did he want to be? Someone with an easy past to remember, but whose life sounded true one is telling the story. And what was an easy story to tell that people would easily believe? Falling hard on your luck.

A homeless man, he decided, with a heart of gold.

---

It had been a week since the team got the permission to go undercover and infiltrate the cult. The wait mostly had to do with the fact that the people of Sunshine Fields only went out into town once every month. Adams was informed by Murkey that they were due for another visit in a week and the cult members only spent a few hours in one place before picking up and moving to another spot across the city. The only did this twice a day for two or three days if you're lucky.

Due to this nomadic behavior, the team of agents had to move with them. Adams deciding to he wanted to study them for a day before going in. Testing the waters before jumping in. Kairi, who had some experience in undercover work from her year spent in Destiny Isle, a strip of land that attracted many tourists and because of that many illegal businesses, was assigned the most of the initial groundwork. Adams would have, but his features were easily recognizable.

Kairi made up several personas to do this. Each was different from the others. The female agent slipped a wire under her shirt to catch every word said and send it back to her team to analyze. The first was Lucy Miles; a blond haired blue eyed, single, soon-to-be-mother who asked many questions and was interested in coming to the community but admitted to be very close to her parents who lived in the city. The recruiter kindly smiled at the news and they talked a few more minutes before the female recruiter told her that calling her parents would be difficult and since she was going to have a baby she would probably want to stay near her parents. Not asked to join.

The next was Kiki Star; a snotty teenage girl with short brown hair and brown eyes (colored contacts). Kiki's fashion style was…lets just say it was a tad _revealing_. Axel almost blew his cover when he saw her from across the street, a shout of indignation coming out of his mouth. This alias hardly asked questions but was eager to join. To start a new life and get away from her annoying over-bearing parents, Kiki said. But the brunette recruiter, who had her hair in a long braid, sat her down and shared some womanly advice about how she could better her life without coming to the community. Kiki was not asked to join.

The last persona Kairi underwent that first day was Amelia Green. Amelia was a timid blue eyed, long haired brunette. Amelia talked to the brunette woman for an hour, both easily getting along. Amelia admitted she had _just_ lost her job that day and was extremely stressed about making rent and paying bills. Her parents died a few years back and she had no one she could ask for help. The brunette, who finally introduced herself as Aeris, told her about Sunshine Fields and that it was a community for people who no longer wanted the stress of the corporate world and wanted to live peaceful lives again. She kindly offered Amelia a home there.

Amelia hesitated and said she would definitely think about it and Aeris informed her that they would be here same time tomorrow and the next day, so it wasn't a one time offer. Amelia thanked her kindly before leaving.

These trials told the rest of the team, who were watching close by, several things.

1.) Aeris was compassionate and really believed in the purpose of her secret society. 2.) She read people well, asking miniscule questions that really told her about the person. 3.) She didn't hand out any serious information out to people, such as location or intimate details of the society. 4.) She was not looking to take people who had loving families. 5.) If she thought she could help you without suggesting joining she would. 6.) She recruited persons who would not be missed such as the sleazy-looking woman who sauntered over in high heels, looking ragged though probably once very pretty but now years of working the streets had caught up with her. She and Aeris talked for half an hour and the woman stayed in the information tent for the rest of the day, along with a dirty looking homeless man who came over asking for money but was talked into staying. He had a mangy but cheerful looking mutt at his side. They both helped Aeris with packing up and putting everything that was under the tent (bibles, pamphlets she never handed out) in the large van before climbing in themselves.

After the van was no longer in sight Xigbar waved the agents over form his corner, he sat on a cardboard box, a 'will work for food' sign resting against one side. Axel left his own cardboard box from across the street, Kairi jumped up from the wrought iron bench she was pretending to read the paper on, and Zexion slowly leaving the Starbucks across the street that had a window facing the street, giving him the perfect view.

Kairi was the first to reach him. "You don't want to follow them to see if they stop again? " The words flew out of her mouth, as if they had been impatiently waiting for an escape.

"Hmm? Oh, no." Adams looked pensive and slightly irritated. He hardly glanced up at the three surrounding agents for several minutes. Passerby's sent curious glances but thankfully didn't stick around for long. Zexion extended a paper coffee cup, cleared his throat and muttered, "Boss?" Adams glanced at it, took it, chugged it down in forty two seconds setting it down on the pavement with a sigh.

"You can't go back tomorrow, Kairi." The woman jerked back, clearly not expecting him to say such a thing.

"But why?" Her pretty face scrunched up in confusion. "I have the most experience. I know how to get in. _I can do it." _

Adams sighed, the sound of regret filling the action. "I know. But I just can't risk your cover."

"Risk it? How?" Kairi grew visibly upset, Axel wanting to stick up for her, maybe comfort her, something!, but he was starting to pick up on what Adams was saying.

"How? By 'Aeris' recognizing you, that's how." With a groan he stood, cracking his neck and fingers. "There's to high a chance that after three visits from you that she will recognize your face. You can change your hair, your eye color, but never your individual face…Unless you want to spend a few hours under the knife, that is." Adams muttered.

She fumed. "What?! You can't be serious."

"Keep your voice down." The slate haired man next to her murmured, glancing around. "You never know who's listening."

"Adams," Kairi harshly whispered. "I have to. I have the more experience--"

"Experience doesn't mean anything if you're recognized." Adams growled, silencing the girl. His expression softened. "I shouldn't have made you go back so many times, I personally squandered your talents and for that I'm sorry. I am not, however sorry for trying to save the mission from being jeopardized. Got that?" The female agent sadly nodded. Adams sighed. "Okay, take what we learned today and put it to good use. If your alias's needs to be modified, modify them. Zexion, Axel," Both men straightened, alert for orders. "Tomorrow you will use one of them. Only one. Save it for the day after to try again. I'll be going too."

"Are you sure you don't want to wait?" Axel pressed. "You only get one try, so why not wait until the last second to use it? Get all the information you can beforehand to up your chances."

Adams popped his neck again, considering it. "No. I should do it sooner to judge her reactions myself and pass on anything I find." Axel nodded, not going to protest any further as the special agent certainly knew what he was doing, even if he didn't explain how he knew it or why he was so sure. Sometime sit was better to just trust him. "You all know what do when or if you get selected, correct?"

"Yessir." Replied the tall red haired agent.

"Yes sir." Softly murmured the slate haired man. Adams nodded and ordered them to go home, eat, and get some sleep, as he was calling it a day. The three agents watched him ride off in the company car, all of them declining a ride.

Kairi let out an irritated groan when he was out of hearing range. "Argh! I can't believe it! Why, why, why?! This is so unfair." The girl stomped her heel angrily. Zexion raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh, come on Kairi. They'll be plenty other times where you can show some skin under the guise of an 'undercover mission'." Axel grinned at her. "Now just where did you get those clothes? Were they pushed in the very, very, back of your closet along with corsets and whips?" He wagged his eyebrows suggestively.

"Ew. No, I borrowed them from a friend."

"Can I have her number?" Kairi fixed him a look.

"Only if you want to be arrested and put under the sexual predator database." Axel's face fell. Zexion snickered behind a palm.

-----

Axel was currently walking smoothly through the emptied hallways, long ago leaving the two agents. Visiting hours were long over but being on a first name basis with the head nurse had its perks and he was let through without a question.

Axel had been putting it off the last week but now that there was a definite possibility that he could be gone for quite some time he couldn't avoid it any longer. Axel absently made a left at the end of the hallway and took the eighteen steps that brought him to his destination. He stood in the door way, collecting himself, straightening his tie, smoothing out creases in his suit. He knew he was stalling, attempting to get that ever present knot out of this throat that always popped up when he was here.

Axel took a deep breath. He entered the room.

He was looking at his shoes as walked. He couldn't bear to look at the walls filled with pictures and the tables filled with flowers. He knew the room by memory anyway; he could walk around with his eyes closed. Only six big steps. Six, five, four, three, two, one. He looked up, tears swelled in his eyes.

"Hi, Mom."

The woman in the bed was positively emaciated, thin due lack of manual eating and lack of any movement. Her skin was sickly pale, glowing in the light of the lamp beside her. But the light also highlighted her high cheek bones, soft curve of her jaw, her chapped pink lips, and long eyelashes attached to her closed eye-lids. The light illumined the few gray hairs in her straight deep red hair. She was still a beautiful lady, always had been. She was the talk of the town when she turned sixteen, officially able to date, as she turned all the boys' heads. And then she was the talk of the town for getting pregnant, married, and having a baby boy all before she finished high school.

Axel sat down in the large chair by her bedside. He briefly noticed a book that sat open on the nightstand and a pair of glasses that sat on top of it. Spared only a glance at the new tulips and lilies that adorned the room. Hardly noticed the well worn jacket lying on the chair top and briefcase leaning on the chair. Hell, he hardly noticed that the chair he was sitting in was one that used to be in his living room, his father's favorite.

It had been awhile since he last visited.

"It's been awhile since you last visited." A gruff voice sounded out from behind him. Axel stuck his head around the back of the chair to look at his father, slowly but surely walking into the room with his irregular gait due to a limp in his left leg.

"Hey, Dad."

Mikhail O'Hara has just about as tall as his son, if not still a few inches taller, and though his light blond hair was cut below his ears it deeply resembled Axel's wild mane hair. His bright green eyes crinkled at the edges as he smiled as his son, but couldn't resist making one jab.

"You need a hair cut." Axel let out a pitiful excuse for a laugh and silence came over them. Mikhail limped over, grabbing a folding chair and moving it to Axel's side, struggling to get it open for a moment. Axel chewed on his bottom lip, wondering if he should ask if the older man needed help and if his father would actually let Axel help. His turmoil ended when the chair came easily undone and his father plopped himself down.

"Ya stole my chair." He declared.

"Yeah I figured." Axel fiddled the sleeve of his suit, not quite knowing what to say. Might as well start with the obvious. "It's past visiting hours, you know." Mikhail laughed, the action moving his entire body. Axel couldn't resist chuckling along with him though he didn't quite know what was funny.

"You're not the only one who's on Brenda's good side, ya know." Mikhail coughed out. After loyally smoking for twenty-two years all it had given him back was a rasping voice and a terrible cough that was familiar and strangely relaxing to Axel. Mikhail turned to him. "So how are you, son?"

Axel went back to fiddling with his sleeve. "Well," He started, thinking. Might as well start with the obvious. "I might be leaving for awhile."

Mikhail's whitening eye brows shot up. His nature told him to ask where to but he knew better by now. "For how long?" That was a better question but not by much. Where, how long, and why were iffy questions with his son concerning the nature his job. The man was lucky if he got the vaguest answers. Axel's face scrunched up in thought, the way his mother's once did. Mikhail glanced at her while he waited for his son to answer.

Axel sighed. "One week to five months." He shrugged. "Or as long at it takes." Mikhail nodded. For awhile they stayed silent, gazing at the still woman. Mikhail knew Axel didn't come here to see him but damn it if he wasn't going to get his whiles worth out of the time Axel _was_ with him.

"You worried about leaving?" Axel thought before shaking his head no.

"Not about the mission….. Maybe about Mom…but that's it..." They both sighed as they stared at the woman again.

"Ya know," Mikhail started. "I've been reading to her. Her favorite books. Any you know of? I'm almost finished with that one." He jutted his chin out in the direction of the night stand. The red haired man gently removed the prescription glasses and gingerly picked up the old book. _The Notebook, _it read. Axel softly smiled and rolled his eyes. Of course she would have loved this book.

"I know she liked the book _A Tree Grows In Brooklyn _by Betty Smith. She made me read it when I was a kid." They both smiled at the memory of Diana forcing her books onto people. The woman never took no as answer. Axel touched his mother's soft but cold hand. Mikhail's eyes followed the movement, saw the emotion on his sons face and felt a stab of quilt for forcing him to talk while all Axel wanted to do was be with his mother for a few minutes.

"I'll give you a minute alone, okay?" Axel nodded numbly, focusing on the blue veins in her hands. He distantly heard the door shut closed. The agent let out a shuddery breath. He gripped her hand harder, taking relief in the fact that he could feel her pulse, her heart still working hard to move blood through her body.

Diana O'Hara was in a coma. She had been unconscious for the past six and a half years. She and his father had been going to the supermarket to get pasta noodles when a drunk driver ran through a stop light and the passenger's side of the car, Diana's side. She was in bad shape. Broken arm and leg, internal bleeding and a major concussion. The two former effects had been easy to take care of, while the third put his mother, most likely, permanently in dreamland. Axel was only nineteen at the time.

Mikhail escaped most of the physical damage from the crash with only a limp in his step but obtained extreme emotional guilt over the crash. He was the one who forgot to buy the pasta for the dinner and he was the one who suggested they go get some so they would have a nice Italian dinner. He blamed himself for the way she was for a long time.

Axel did too, for awhile. So much that he refused to be in the same room as the man for over three years. And it was Lexaeus who smacked him around and told him there was no way his father was responsible. Did he actively kill her? No. Did he tell that driver to run the light? No. Then how could he be responsible? …He wasn't. Lex demanded that Axel tell his father that to his face and restore their relationship. Axel did. But it was never the same. Their anger had caused a large rift.

_Besides, _Axel thought. _That was then, this is now. _The redhead pushed away several strands of deep red hair that had fallen across Diana's face. He had that aching, burning, tight feeling in his throat. He clasped her small cold hand with both of his, prayer style, laying his head on his thumb knuckles and told her everything that had happened recently, his feelings, his confusion, what happened today, what might happen tomorrow, everything that popped up in his head he told her. It made him feel better, to talk to her. Though if the rooms were bugged for some reason Axel was in deep shit.

After maybe fifteen or twenty minutes passed and after Axel had stopped talking Mikhail knocked and asked if it was alright if he came in. Axel half heartedly laughed, thinking how weird it must be to actually ask to come into your own wife's room. His dad took his seat again. Axel, feeling more comfortable now that he had gotten everything off his chest, cleared his throat to start a conversation. He looked around the room, taking in the adjustments.

"Looks like you remodeled." Glancing around the room Mikhail chuckled softly.

"Yup. Now that I'm retired I had a lot of time on my hands. Spent most of it trying to convince the nurses and doctors to let me put the chair in here." He gently knocked on the cushioned chair. "Since I spend most of my days here it just made since." Axel rolled his eyes.

"Why don't you get a hobby? I'm sure Brenda will appreciate when you stop hassling her nurses." Mr. O'Hara senior chuckled at the fond memory. He shook his head and looked out the window and passed the scenery to the stars just staring to shine. He nervously licked his lips, unsure how to say what he wanted to say. Might as well start with the obvious.

"I've been thinking." Axel inclined his head, curiosity coming over him.

"Well that happens to everyone every once in awhile." Axel grinned cheekily but his dad kept a serious look on his face. The smile fell. Mikhail took a deep breath. Axel was starting to worry. "What is it, Dad?"

"Axel," He sighed. "I think it's time." Shock overcame him, the feeling of dread sinking fast into his bones, the icy feeling of desperation and fear followed by deep rage. But before he could open his mouth to shout his father continued. "I think it's time I left." Dread, fear and anger left him, leaving him with confusion. What was the man trying to say?

"I don't, I don't understand." Whatever happened to start with the obvious? Mikhail sighed.

"Your mother and I, well we always wanted to go to across the world." He admitted. "We'd been saving for it since before you were born. It's something your mom had dreamed about doing since she was a little kid. We were waiting for when I retired and well. And… well I know that she would be so mad at me if I never went." Mikhail didn't look at his son or at his wife; he kept his gaze to the stars. Axel glared.

"When she wakes up to discover that you went without her is what she'll be mad at." His father sighed. He looked so worn, so tired.

"And if that's the case we'll just go everywhere I've already been again so she won't miss out." He sighed. "But Axel…It's been six years. The doctors say that with every day her chance of waking up dwindles."

"But every day people who have been in a coma for longer wake up!" Axel persisted.

"And that why they call them miracles." Axel's mouth twisted in anger and he was about to shoot something nasty at his father when Mikhail interrupted him. "Axel, I want her to wake up too. Desperately. But I have to accept the obvious. I think…" he trailed, looking at the stars again. "I think that her consciousness is no longer in her body. That just isn't her style. I think she's out there, in the stars, looking down at us and waiting patiently, because she has so many stories to tell us still and she really wants to hear ours as well." Mikhail's voice became hoarser than usual, becoming think with sorrow. Axel's throat was burning again as he fought the urge to cry out.

"It's been six years, Ax." Locking eyes with his son he added. "It's time."

Axel didn't agree nor did he disagree. He just looked at his beloved mother until Nurse Brenda told them that they absolutely had to leave, or one of the other nurses will call security.

Mikhail grunted, picking up his tweed jacket and slipping it on. He glanced back at Axel, hoping he hadn't upset the boy too much. "C'mon, Axel. It's time to go." The boy nodded, flicked off the bedside lamp, and stood saying goodbye to the comatose woman mentally. It may be time for him to go but it was not time for him to let go.

For it had only been six years, seven months, fourteen days, ten hours, and, if his watch was right, forty-six minutes and twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty seconds.

Surely it took much longer to get over the pain inside his chest.

------


	3. Chapter 3

Happy Reading!

* * *

Cult

It was six o'clock in the morning. Blue eyes opened to the bright, promising world. Everything in the universe was breathing together. He closed his eyes, feeling the vibrations of the earth and breathing along with the mother planet. After all, he thought, it was a miracle that life existed at all. He may as well thank the mother for breathing life into what could have been just a desolate and cold rock floating in the universe.

He took in a deep breath, inhaling all the life around him. He softly smiled to himself. Today was the day. He could feel it.

---

It was ten o'clock in the morning. Axel had been sitting on the corner of King Street for half an hour now. The Sun children or whatever they chose to call themselves had yet to show up. They had contact with the Twilight City police so if the cult members set up somewhere else they would know immediately and the team would move accordingly. But Adams seemed to think they would keep showing up in the same places, giving the people they talked to a second chance at a new life.

Axel, intent on keeping up his appearance as a homeless person, raised his empty cup to a woman in a bright orange jogging suit. She stopped to take the time to go through her fanny pack and give him three dollars. She told him to take care of himself before jogging away into the sun. Axel emptied his cup and stuffed the dollar bills into the pocket of his flannel jacket. Unfortunately, all money he received from the streets today and tomorrow would go to the bureau for whatever use they deemed it worth. Probably the breakfast doughnut fund.

The red head flicked his eyes over to the left to the newest member of the team. Kairi was in place, staffing the surveillance van a block down. When the time aroused for the team of agents to move with the recruiters they would all hop in and tail the other van to the next location.

His bright eyes searched for the leader of his team. To the world, Adams looked like any other homeless man yet to wake. He lay on a makeshift bed of newspapers and was even snoring loudly. However, he was actually alert as could be. It was he who was going to approach the Sunshine Fields tent first today. A lot of the mission depended on his actions.

Zexion had found a little bakery to sit in. The agent was munching away on a very large muffin. Axel frowned at the small man. The red head wished _he_ had the smart idea to pose as a lawyer who saw so much bad in the world and not enough good. From the looks of it, it was very comfortable. And you could eat muffins! Axel's stomach growled in irritation.

_You fool_, it bellowed, _you picked the one cover that ensured that you ate nothing the whole day. Good for nothing_--- Axel shushed his stomach. The yellow van was coming up the road. Axel huddled into himself, hopefully becoming more innocuous.

The plan for the day was this; the team would collect last minute intel during the morning. Then after Aeris packed up, they would follow her to the next location where they would begin to approach the brown-haired woman for admittance. Xigbar would go first. If he got in, great, if not then he would spill whatever beans he got from the woman Aeris.

Axel frowned at his analogy, not quite liking it anymore as it involved the spilling of beans, something he would love to eat right now. He shook his wild red hair, dismissing the thought and kind of creeping out a well-dressed woman who was walking by.

Even if Adams got into the cult, he would still pass on whatever news he could squeeze out from the brunette however he could. Then Zexion would attempt, followed by Axel whether for not the slate haired man got in. Even if neither of the two were asked to join, they still had tomorrow to try again.

Axel had selected his first cover he created, the homeless man with a heart of gold. He wouldn't admit it to anyone until after the mission was done but he actually only made one cover that day Adams returned from the director office. Oopsy daisy. So after having a drink ("Water, please." Axel sheepishly said. "And a scotch!" his father ordered.) with his father at a local tavern, he scrambled to put a new persona together.

This one did change his location in the streets, which he was happy about. There was just something about sitting on a sidewalk all day dressed in dirty clothes that didn't sit well with him. His new cover would be a distraught businessman whose wife had recently remarried and was living out a terribly happy life while he could hardly get from day to day. It required the wearing of a suit, which Axel had plenty of and was used to wearing but also required that he tie his hair back something he was not used to doing.

Axel was going to use the name Alex for his first cover, seeing as it was close to his actual name. He was saving his actual name for his second character, seeing as he had nothing left to lose on that second day, it was hit or miss.

'_Axel,' _Kairi said, startling him. _'Pay attention. I can see you daydreaming.' _She reprimanded a block down.

She spoke into her headset in the safety of the FBI van, her voice traveling into Axel's own earpiece, which was easily hidden by his mess of hair. _'Someone new is there. Could be one of those missing kids. Study him…her…oh I just can't tell gender anymore with these kids. Just pay attention.' _She hissed.

"Got it." Axel whispered into the tiny receiver hidden on the inside of his jacket neck, the closest material to his mouth. He glanced up and over to the yellow tent proudly standing on a street corner.

Indeed, there was a new recruiter standing with the woman from yesterday. Being closer than the wine haired woman, Axel could tell the person was short, small for a man, average for a woman, and had short blond hair. He couldn't tell any features as he/she had his/her back turned to him. But Axel definitely noticed one thing that didn't click.

'_The new guy is wearing yellow.' _Zexion stated, speaking aloud Axel thoughts. From his post, Zexion had a better view at the new member, now identified as a male.

"I know. Aeris is still wearing her pink. Does that mean something?" he whispered into his receiver.

The conversation was not private. The line ran to Adams as well as to Kairi. The entire team would hear every word any of the men said. Except for Kairi. From her surveillance spot, she could click on a button and talk to whichever man she wanted. Hopefully she wasn't driving Adams crazy updating him every second.

'_Jesus Christ. I only need one person to tell me something and even then that's too much.' _Adams grumpily mumbled. '_The boy is probably a grunt. Did any of you read the report?'_

'_I read the report_!' Kairi boasted.

'_Well, that doesn't do us any good. _You_ can't do anything.' _Adams sighed, the noise like a gust of wind to Axel. '_Murkey said that higher ups wore their own choice color of garment. Newbie's wear yellow. When we get in there we will see for ourselves.' _Adams mumbled out his words to sound like sleepy murmurings. He attracted no attention from people passing by.

'_So he may be easier to approach and accept us if he's new.' _Zexion offered.

The two recruiters were blissfully unaware they were being diligently watched. Aeris was animatedly talking to a woman with two screaming children. The boy, however, was simply sitting the corner of the tent, even though there were two other people looking around the tent, flipping through the yellow covered books. The two quickly became bored since no one came to chat with them and they left without looking back. Axel became weary of the boy's behavior. Shouldn't he want to talk them up and coerce them into joining?

"I dunno," Axel said. "He doesn't seem too eager to be here. He just let those two leave without sparing them a glance."

'_I saw that,_' Zexion seconded. _'Perhaps he is just observing. Like interning, learning the trade before jumping in. It could be that Aeris is the only one actually recruiting.' _

Adams tossed and turned on his newspapers trying to obtain a better view of the two. _'Watch him. If he does nothing again, he could be a lost cause.' _

Axel settled back into the polished stone behind him. Like a hawk the team watched the two. From the strategic locations, the three undercover agents could watch all day and the two cult members would never even think to suspect they were being watched.

With the use of the covers the agents created they colorful recruiters would never know they were being duped until it was too late.

Axel followed the smooth, nimble movements of the female recruiter. He needed to innocently charm his way into her heart. If she liked him enough to start a conversation, Axel knew he was in. Since his new self had no prospects or anyone relativity close to him, there would be no reason for her to turn him down. Unless of course she thought he could still be of some use of society and give him whatever advice she had at her disposal.

A man in a suit walked by and dropped a handful of change into his cup. Axel tore his eyes away from the tent to thank the man graciously and when he flicked his green eyes back, he saw the boy was no longer sitting in the corner bored. The red haired man inclined his head to better see what he was doing.

The boy had hopped off his seat to help pick up a pile of papers that a frazzled young woman had dropped. It seemed that the boy was at least kind enough to help a damsel in distress.

Though his back was still turned to the agent Axel could see in his body language was relaxed. Being away from the sanctity of Sunshine fields and back in the city was not nerve-wracking at all, even though he must still be a newer member.

The girl was thanking him profusely, she herself was extremely nervous, every muscle was tense and she was constantly moving from foot to foot. She had serious anxiety, this girl. Axel dropped his gaze. _Along with serious hooters, damn. _Axel was appreciating her curves when she started walking away, the blond haired kid following her.

"One of the targets is moving. Should we follow?" Axel asked.

'_They are coming your way Kairi,'_ Adams said. _'Since neither of them know you, tail 'em.'_

'_Roger!' _The girl joyfully shouted. She tossed off her larger head set and hastily clipped on a smaller one. Kairi quietly got out of the back of the van, waiting until the two passed her before following at a close but not too close distance.

If either the blond boy or blond girl turned around, they wouldn't have spared her a second thought. The redhead was typing away at her phone, looking as if she didn't even know they were there, much less care. She was close enough to hear them but not close enough for the wire she was wearing to pick up anything.

The rest of the team watched the remaining woman with renewed interest. She had sent the woman with the screaming kids away and was now watching the other member intently. Axel once again couldn't see a face.

'_Give me a status on Aeris, what she doing?' _Adams' voice boomed. It seemed that from his position neither could he.

'_She's not worried….' _Zexion muttered_. 'More like interested. Amused. She's smiling.' _

"Maybe newbie's recruiting after all," Axel mused. "Picked up quite the pretty lady too."

'_What's going on on your side, Freah? What's he doing?' _

'_They're just talking.' _

'_About what?' _Adams pushed.

'_About her. About life. He's definitely trying her reel her in.'_

Adams hummed for a second. Axel saw that Aeris was no longer watching the boy; she had moved on to chat with an elderly man. Zexion was still in the bakery and Adams was still lying on the sidewalk. He could still see Kairi's dark red hair from his distance and watched her turn the corner.

Axel bobbed his knee impatiently. It always unsettled him whenever someone from the team disappeared from his sight. Imagine all the things that could go wrong when they were going solo. Axel mentally ran the list through his head, tapping his fingers too.

Relief flooded him when Kairi's voice came through. '_He just escorted her to her workplace. I'm turning back the next corner.'_

'_Did he ask her to join?_' Zexion questioned.

'_No, actually. I thought he was but he just smiled and left. The girl liked him, I could tell.'_

'_I don't care if she all goo goo eyes over him,' _Adams growled. '_What did he say?'_

'_He asked her about her job, about her family, friends, boy friends, hobbies. Never said a word about Sunshine fields. She seemed pretty happy with her life, albeit a bit stressed with her job.'_

'_Who isn't?' _Adams snorted.

'_He was just nice to her. He told her she was gift from god and she should never forget that. Really sweet.' _Kairi softly said. He really reminded her of--

"A regular Casanova, huh?" Axel laughed.

'_Oh shut up! The boy was nice. Probably got more women with his sweet words than you--'_

'_Shut. Up.' _Adams groaned. _'Stay focused you two. He's comin' back. Watch how the two talk to each other.'_

Axel quietly chuckled to himself and cursed when he missed his chance to see the guy's face. Aeris turned to say something to him, his blond hair tossed and turned as he shook his head. The blond-haired boy sat himself in his corner again, effectively blocking Axel's view. "He shook his head, definitely a no. He might have been recruiting her but was shot down." A few minutes went by, people coming and going.

'_But he's not going up to anyone else that comes by. Could be he's looking for something specific.' _Zexion said.

"What like young, blond, and a hot bod?" Axel joked. "Total discrimination against all brunettes and redheads, and here I thought every one had equal chance to enter a top secret society." Axel tsked.

'_Shut up, O'Hara.' _Adams advised. _'He could only go for people who catch his eye. That girl probably would have been a great addition. Might just have higher standards than the other one.'_

Axel frowned. The 'other one' was currently talking to a handsome man in a pricy suit. The boy didn't even spare a glance at him. He was instead flipping through an orange-yellow pamphlet they never handed out. "Maaaaybe. He could just go for people his own age, a comfort zone."

'_His age? The kid as to be at least a teenager. No way he's older than that.' _Kairi snorted. From inside the van she could be as loud as she wanted. _'He still has baby fat on his face, for Christ's sake.'_

"Which would be why he was going for younger people. Here comes another young girl. Not a blond, but see what he does."

The girl was not a blond but a very pretty brunette with her hair tied in two braids. At most, she was in her early twenties, no later if you went by her youthful outfit. She must be a college student at the University. Frat parties, kegs, pop quizzes and boys/girls were her life right now. The red head smiled, thinking back on the things he got into when he was her age, roughly six years ago. Then he frowned.

All of his rambunctious activities were put to an end after the car crash. He swore off drinking and swore off his friends who drank every night. Who knows how many people they could have killed with their actions? Axel would never know as he successfully separated them from himself as soon as he could. One and a half years later, he graduated from the university. Then he began working for the bureau soon after that and there the rule was that there was no drinking when you were on duty and you shouldn't even if you were off duty. Nevertheless, Axel knew that Adams had a drink every occasion he was off duty. But he also knew that Adams had seen more horrendous battle that Axel ever would in his lifetime so the red head could forgive the man for having a hangover today.

Zexion's voice came through his earpiece. '_They're talking. But he doesn't look too interested.'_

'_Maybe O'Hara had it right….' _Adams chuckled. _'Oh! There she goes. Bye, bye. Sweetheart.'_

Another hour came and went. Aeris talked and chatted up every soul that came to her but only picked one to join, a tall, slender woman with slicked back hair in a pantsuit. At first the woman didn't even look at the Aeris's stand, she walked right past it intent on getting wherever she had to be quickly. To the team's astonishment, Aeris actually left the yellow tent to run up to her. She was quick, Axel had to hand to the brunette. The woman initially pulled away when Aeris gripped her elbow but as the brunette started talking, she relaxed and turned to face her better. The woman dutifully followed Aeris back to the tent, wherever she had to go now lost and forgotten.

Axel kept flicking his green eyes between the three figures, gauging reactions and predicting the conversations. The blond boy, who had until now been sending away anyone who came close, rose to greet her. He looked like he was going in for a hug but stilled and accepted her hand instead. The woman was all nerves, very stiff and formal. The blond kid eventually went back to his seat but at the last second offered it to the new woman. She briskly accepted it and the boy sat on the sidewalk beside her.

'_Looks like chivalry isn't dead.' _Kairi mused. Adams loudly snorted into his transmitter.

----

'_Alright, they're packing up,' _Adams said. _'Freah, start the car.'_

The special agent stood, groaning as joints popped and muscles stretched. He was too old for this, Xigbar thought, even though he was only 47. Now he had white and gray hairs. God, when did that happen? Seemed to him just a few days ago he was turning twenty-one and drinking with his buddies in Las Vegas. Those were the days.

"Boss." Zexion was offering him a super large cup full of, by the smell wafting from the opening, his favorite, black, black, black coffee. The kind that makes most people pucker at the bitter taste. The team leader accepted it eagerly. The one bad disadvantage about being on a street corner all day was, well, you were on a street corner all day. God, he was hungry. Zexion offered him one of the two freakishly large muffins he could barely hold in his hands.

The tiny, little agent gave Axel the other one as they passed the passed the man on way to the van. He too must be sharing Xigbar's regret in choosing his particular cover. But it was one Xigbar could play well, thus the appeal.

Kairi was in driver's seat, impatiently drumming her slender fingers on the wheel. Xigbar crossed the street to the driver's side. "Scoot over. I'm driving." She grumbled but unbuckled herself and moved. "Atta, girl."

The girl was so small he had to adjust the seat to even get in. When did agents get so small? He jerked the rear view mirror so he could actually see out the damn car and saw Axel sitting in the back. Now Axel was what an agent should be like. Cunning, devoted, and actually had a personality that helped him on the job. He was friendly, charming, sweet, but a man's man too. And Lexae--

He moved the car into the road, making sure he was staying on his side of the road and not attracting any attention. No one ever noticed you if you did what you were supposed to do, so he became the perfect driver.

But his throat still stung. He couldn't talk with the lump stuck there. How easy it was to forget and how easy it was to remember.

Thankfully, he didn't have to start a conversation as Kairi did it for him.

"So with the addition of the blond kid we have a better chance of getting in. Not much better since he's not so talkative but still a higher chance." She turned around in her seat to look straight at the boys in the back. "I would recommend being as depressed as you could be." Axel started laughing while Zexion just raised an eyebrow at her.

"No, I'm serious. The people she asked to join? As pathetic as could be. She'll like you more the more apathetic and unhappy you are. I know what I'm talking about. She actually asked me to join so you should listen to me." She gave both the agents a stern look until she had their undivided attention.

"Don't spill out your entire life story. Just go up there. She'll do the rest. Just tell her bits and pieces. Be vague like it's so bad you don't want to talk about. When she starts really getting passionate talking to you, you should tell a bit more. You'll be in in no time. And if you don't today then we try again tomorrow. You're transmitters and receivers have a very long battery life but only use it to check up once a week to preserve it longer. Make sure you keep it in a safe place. Hide it somewhere so no one will find it."

Kairi pointed to behind Zexion. "In that drawer there are GPS tracking devices. Clip them on anywhere. On your shoe, sock, shirt, put it in your pocket, I don't really care. Keep it on until you get into camp. Then hide it with your other stuff." She gave them a reassuring smile. "This'll be easy. Just participate, observe, don't get brainwashed and contact me every week. If all of you get in today, great, but I still need all of you to check in. Axel; you check in on Wednesdays. Zexion, Friday's all yours. Adams you should check in on Mondays."

Axel nodded along, clipping the small device on his dirty undershirt. Simple but long mission. "How long again are we going to be undercover?"

"Until you give reason why you shouldn't be anymore." She smartly said.

Zexion rolled his eyes. "And those reasons would be?"

"Like you have proof there is something fishy going on. Or that there _isn't_ something fishy happening. I think it should take you at least a week to get the hang of things and blend in. And from there it's all up to your own detective work as to how long you stay. But if one of you finds something, all of you are out. When that happens you'll sneak out and we'll com pick you up. Piece of cake."

"Piece O' Cake." Axel muttered. He remembered something else that was supposed to be a piece of cake.

"You two can relax. They stopped for now." The three agents looked up to Adams, who slowed and parked the van, barely fitting in the space.

"Boss?"

"They stopped for some food." He gruffly explained. "I don't know about you but I'm starving. I'm getting food. You can stay here if you want."

Axel all but jumped out of the van. He was sooo hungry. That huge muffin Zexion gave him didn't do anything for him. He needed real food. "You comin'?" he asked the short agent.

"Nah," he said. "I'll stay and keep an eye on them."

The red head shrugged. "Your loss."

The closet restaurant was a Subway: Eat Fresh! But Axel wouldn't complain even if it was crappy movie theatre food. He was so hungry he could eat three of those rubbery hot dogs and stale pretzels. One of those door jingle things jingled as he pushed the door open. He was hit with the delicious and almost sensual smell of five, five-dollar, five-dollar foot longs.

----

"Okay, check your microphones, gentlemen." Adams said. They tailed the Sunshine Fields van to down town a seedier but not yet in the dumps part of town. '_Am I good?_' Came Adams' voice in Axel's ear. The redhead gave him a thumbs up.

"Can you hear me now?" The two other men who nodded. Axel adjusted his jacket to better hide his mini microphone and shook his hair with one hand. His spikes were greasy as, for the sake of the mission, he didn't shower last night or the night before. If it helped him stay undercover, he was willing to do anything.

'_All clear?' _Zexion asked.

"You're good." Kairi answered. "Okay boys, they're still getting stuff out. They won't see you. Go get 'im." She encouraged. Axel gave her a grin and mussed her hair. He won't be seeing her for who knew how long.

"I'll see you soon, 'k Kairi? Don't miss me too much." He gave her a wet, loud kiss on her cheek before hightailing it out of the van. She laughed and wiped the saliva of her cheek. Zexion pattered her on the shoulder.

"I'll see you soon. Take care of yourself while we are gone." He politely said. She captured him in a quick hug before he stepped out.

"Be careful," she advised. "Don't take any pills or substances if you don't know what they are. And even then probably don't take them." Zexion softly laughed. "I mean it. Tell Axel too. God knows what'll happen to you two. Be safe, okay?"

"Okay, Mom." He joked before turning and finding a respectable restaurant to sit in.

Adams had already left. But he was a special agent, she told herself. He could take of himself, Axel, and Zexion. She adjusted her headset and checked her computer. When she tailed the blond boy earlier, she snapped a picture of him and was running it through the missing people's directory. Since she didn't have a name or fingerprints or his age, it was talking longer than she hoped since it had to go by facial features and after awhile, well, kids' faces changed. Her picture also wasn't as good as it could be and she was only running it through Twilight City, which had a very high population, more than there was in Destiny Isle that was for sure.

--

Adams spoke into his receiver softy so the people walking by wouldn't pay much attention to him. Sure, his scars and eye patch drew the most looks but those glances were quick and ridden with guilt. But a scruffy looking guy talking to himself? That deserved a longer look and possible call to the authorities, which definitely would not bode well for his cove. Especially since he wasn't wearing his badge. He did not want to explain the operation to the imbeciles that were Twilight City's finest, especially since they were more likely to believe that he was just crazy and stick him in an insane asylum than actually check to see if he _was_ a FBI agent.

"Ok, we have at least two hours here so here's the plan. In twenty minutes, I'm going to go up and ask for money and all that. Zexion, after twenty to forty minutes go up and do whatever you're going to do. Then O'Hara will follow ten to thirty minutes after. This might change after each one of us goes up so pay attention." Adams stopped to wait to turn on a corner.

"Axel, do you have a better vantage point than last time?'

'_I'm at the corner before theirs. Pretty close. But Blondie somehow managed to have his back to me again but I can move--'_

"Don't bother. Stay where you are. Zexion how about you?"

'_I'm across the street. I can see them fine. They won't suspect me from my position.'_

The light turned red making the crosswalk safe to cross again. Now on the other side of the road, Adams started down the sidewalk, going farther and farther away from the Sunshine Fields recruiters. "What are they doing?

'_No one's come up yet. That new woman is still there, sitting in the sun. She's talking to Aeris. The boy isn't doing anything. Just sitting there.' _

The crossing stoplight displayed the number 14, informing the agent that he had 13, 12, 11 seconds to cross before the light will change. It had only been five minutes. Adams slowed so he would have to wait for the next light. By his count, the light lasted two minutes. How could time move so fast when you didn't want it to and move so slow when all you wanted was for it to fly by?

When fifteen minutes came, he turned on his heel and briskly started walking back. Even though it was now three o'clock and the streets had many passengers no one bumped into him or got into his way, most likely because he looked like he hadn't showered in a week and was wearing clothes with holes in them. People usually steered clear of these types. Plus, Xigbar thought, the scars and eye patch doesn't exactly scream 'FRIENDLY!!' does it?

"Turning back. What's their status?" Adams muttered.

'_Aeris is currently talking to an elderly woman. The boy is kind of talking to the blond woman.' _Axel informed him.

"Kind of? How can you 'kind of' be talking to someone?" He asked while slipping past a mother with two beautiful children in a stroller. They were probably at the ages of one and three and were blissfully sleeping. Adams slowed to watch them until the family turned the corner.

'_Well she doesn't exactly seem to be the friendliest person. Kudos for him at least trying.' _Axel said. From his spot he couldn't _exactly__see_ the boy talking to her but he was facing her and she was looking at him with this 'I don't care what you have to say to me, but I'll let you keep talking just to humor you' look. It was a look Kairi gave him sometimes when Axel tried to talk sports.

Adams grunted. "I'm two blocks away."

'_Roger.'_

Adams slowed his walking. As he came closer to his mark, he shifted most of his weight on his right leg to create a slight limp. He slumped his back. Scuffed his old Nike shoe just a little bit more. Every other person who passed him he asked for money, please, he was starving.

Within a short moment he was at Axel's street corner. The yellow tent was before him, the two blonds sitting on white plastic lawn chairs in the corner and Aeris was straightening the yellow covered books. She smiled as she looked up, pleasantly surprised, as he came toward her. She wore the smile that you would expect of Mother Teresa. Loving, patient, giving.

"Hello Ma'am." He said. "Could you spare some change for an old man?"

She laughed, like birds singing. "Of course I will." She patted her pants, only to realize that she had no pockets. She laughed again. "I'm sorry. Why don't you follow me? I'll get some money from the van."

He smiled a fake genuine smile. "Thank you, ma'am. May the lord bless you for your kindness."

She shot him another toothy smile. "You're so sweet. Follow me." She turned to the two blonds sitting in stoic silence. "I'll be right back, okay?" Aeris gave an elegant wave goodbye and turned. She started walking down the street, Xigbar following beside her.

She walked as if stepping on air, a smile never left her face. She was very pretty, he noticed before sling-shoting the thought away. Abruptly she turned to him. "I'm sorry if I come off as rude but may I ask as to how you got those scars? They're very gruesome."

Adams was taken back by her blunt question. He blinked twice as they continued walking.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She gushed. "If you don't to talk about it that's fine."

"No, no. It's fine… When I was younger I was in the army." He said. "Just when I got done with boot camp we declared war. Vietnam. I got a few scars from that. I stayed in the army through the rest of the wars. When I got too injured," he pointed to his eye patch. "They let me go. I couldn't get a job anywhere. And so now I ask pretty women for change and sleep on the streets."

They were at the yellow painted van by the time he finished. She opened the passenger seat with stronger arms that Adams would have thought for a woman so small.

"Oh, that's horrible," she said. "What a terrible thing to happen, especially since you worked so hard." She shook her braided hair. "What a tough life you've had." She repeated. She climbed in to the seat and twisted around to rummage in the back. Adams took the time to memorize the items in the car.

There was a McDonalds bag rolled up in the passenger seat floor and in the two front cup holders held two large McDonalds cups, from the lack of condensation on the sides they were either old or empty both possibilities told him that they had money to eat fast food and thus money in general. The cult must be making a profit somehow.

There were boxes on boxes in back of the back, behind the second row of seats. OPEN HEARTS it announced in red on the side of one. It sounded familiar to him somehow, like maybe he read it somewhere, or talked about, or heard the name on the news a long time ago. But before he could finger it, Aeris turned back. In her hand she had two bills. Aeris held them out to him when she hopped down onto the hard sidewalk. She wasn't wearing shoes, he saw.

"Here," she said. "I'm sorry I couldn't give more. We need to get gas later." She spoke slow and sweet. She gave him two twenties; more than any homeless person were usually given in a day, maybe three days. "But I was thinking… There could be another way I could help you."

_This_ perked his interest. He played his cards well, it seems. Kairi was right, Aeris responded well to a pity case. But something wasn't right. Why would she give him money… if she was going to invite him to go to the reservation with her? It would be pointless as they were both going to the same place. He wouldn't _need_ money there. "Help me? How?"

Aeris beamed. "Well, I know a person who runs a men's home. He also has a construction company. He could help you get back on your feet and provide a roof for you until you get there. He's an ex-Marine so he has a soft spot for soldiers."

Oh, shit. Somewhere in this he fucked up. Now that she suggested this, there was no way he could turn the conversation around. No amount of charming could get him back to square one. He couldn't try to weasel his way into getting her to ask him to join because she hadn't mentioned it and the average person didn't even know about the cult. He would just have to take this like a man…and weasel every other bit of information he could out of her. _Someone_ had to get in, after all. And he was gonna do anything and everything to ensure their chances.

"Oh, Ma'am…that's…Thank you but, you don't have to that for me."

"No, no. I insist." She insisted. "Here let me get a piece of paper and I'll write down the address." She climbed back into the van and came out with stack of pink snick-it notes that she held against the sliding van door. "Ask for Cid when you get there. Tell him Aerith sent you."

Aerith? He thought her name was Aeris. "Aerith?"

"Oh! I didn't introduce myself. My name's Aerith." She said, handing him a singular pink stick it. She rolled her eyes. "Weird name I know, but it's all mine. Strange sort of ownership when you have a unique name. I'm sorry; I don't think I caught your name?"

"Harry." He said quickly. "My name's Harry. Harry Stephenson."

"Well, it was a pleasure to meet you Harry." She extended her hand.

"Oh, no the pleasure is all mine. Do you usually do this with all the sad souls you meet?" he asked.

She giggled. "Only with the ones I know I can help and deserved to be helped."

"Well, miss Aerith I think I'll make my way to…" He read the stick it. "181 St. Sebastian Street. Will you be here again tomorrow? I would love to tell you how it went." Though Aeris/Aerith told Kairi (posing as Amelia Green) she would be here the next day and the day after that it never hurt to hear it from the horse's mouth.

She clicked her tongue. "I would love to but I won't be here tomorrow. I'm leaving in a few hours."

"Oh, where to?" He pleasantly asked.

"Home." She said. "But hey, if you stick with Cid you'll see me eventually. I have to go now. Best of luck." She gave him one last demure smile, like the one Mona Lisa was forever smiling. He waved at her before continuing down the sidewalk.

"Shit hit the fan." He growled into the microphone. 'They're leaving _today_.'

'_Today?' _Kairi screeched. _'No, no, no, no, no. We have one more day. She told me.'_

'_Well evidently things changed.' _Zexion said. _'What's out plan, boss?'_

"Plan stays the same but just do it faster. In ten, I want Zexion to go and ten after that Axel's up. If one of you screws up we'll have time to change your appearance so you can take a second hit. I'll go full circle and get in the van. Just tone up the sap." He said as he dodged a man in an expensive suit. He shot the scruffy looking man a glare.

"Axel when you go up, say something about an injury or something. Else she'll write ya up a place to sleep and a construction job and that does us no good. Just add it in."

'_Got it, Boss." _Axel murmured, accepting another handful of change from some person he would never know outside this moment. It made him think about how this moment in their lives was a straight out lie, a hoax, a sham. He suddenly felt quilt for pretending to be someone he wasn't and taking money (even if it was just a quarter and two nickels.) that should be going to someone who really needed it, who was really starving.

From his spot, he could only see one other person on the streets like he was but he never felt more guilty. Maybe it was the mission becoming more real now that he had only today to get it right. Maybe this was only a fraction of what he would feel when/if he got in, got to know people, and had to lie right in their faces. He'd done it before. But not for this long. Not to people he ever really got to know over an extended amount of time and actually came to like.

How could he do what he was going to do and live with it? Sell out people he was friends with and stab them in the back as soon as they trusted him? Who would do that?

He had to do it, he told himself. Think of the people he could be helping, especially if what Murkey said was true, that there was sexual abuse going on there and little girls and boys were being hurt in a way that they would never forget. The thought strengthened his resolve and he started fitting in a serious injury in his new life story. One that prevented him from working construction.

"How long 'till Zexion goes on?" He muttered.

'_About five minutes._' Zexion said.

"Are you ready?"

'_I have to be.'_

----

Thirty feet away from Axel a blond boy was cracking his finger joints. Sitting around and doing nothing really stiffened him up. He slowly shrugged his shoulders to move the muscles in his back, hearing the joints rub against protective cartilage. He snapped his neck and more heard than felt the joint pop.

Larxene, the girl Aerith picked up today, looked at him with awe and mild disgust. But she was becoming more and more relaxed with every moment she sat and didn't do anything. She had turned off her personal cell phone, her beeper, her blackberry and was now just relaxing in the comfort of silence.

He grinned at her and grabbed the left corner of the back of his chair with both hands, he twisted his back, hearing little pops and felt muscle stretching and tightening up. He hummed with satisfaction in the comforting stretch. And when he opened his eyes, he saw the sight he had been waiting for the entire day. Don't ask him how he knew but the blond knew that this was the one. He just knew it. He felt it in his bones this morning and was very much feeling it again right now.

This man, with hair like fire!, well, the blond just knew that they were meant to be. He smiled a soft and loving and happy smile.

Kind've like love at first sight…

----

Axel had no watch but apparently it bad bee five more minutes because Zexion had left his booth in the restaurant and was walking out the already open door. The red head was so intent on watching Zexion cross the street, so intent on studying the outcome of his well planned persona, so intent on taking notes on every thing he saw in the next few minutes that he didn't even notice the person coming towards him until Kairi screeched into his ear, _'Nine o'clock, Axel! He's coming straight at you!' _

And then he saw the flash of yellow in his peripheral vision. He caught on too late as to what Kairi meant and was left perplexed at the sight of the boy in yellow right. In. Front. Of him.

_He's not wearing any shoes_, was Axel's first intelligent thought. The next was that the boy was staring at him with a look Axel wasn't sure he _wanted_ to place. The blond was attractive in that kind of 'teenage girl's wet dream' kind of way. Axel was suddenly jealous at the boy's beauty.

The two didn't say anything for a moment but then the blond dropped to his knees and enclosed Axel in a tight hug. Thankfully he didn't bury his head in Axel's other shoulder or his head set surely would have been caught in crossfire and that would have been a weird conversation.

But maybe not as weird as this. The boy, and Axel realized that he truly was a _boy _and couldn't be more than seventeen, had awkward hold on him. But he had a tight grip on his ratty clothes, Axel knew that he would really have to push the boy off of him and that wouldn't be a good impression so he let the blond hold him.

But he couldn't help uttering a confused, "Uhhhm."

It snapped the blond out of whatever kind of whatever he was in and he pushed himself back to sit on his calves and then threw himself up to stand. He gently smiled at Axel.

"Hi." he said. "My name's Roxas. Do you have a home?"

Axel heisted and then shook his head.

"Would you like one?" The boy, Roxas, extended his hand to redhead.

Axel hesitated and then took his hand.

----

"FUCK. Fuck, fuck, fuck." Adams shouted. He was in the van now so he didn't fear the reactions of the people walking the streets next to him. He was pissed. Seething. He was breathing hard and sweating he was so angry. He just watched one of his agents being led by the hand of the blond squirt to the yellow van and the other be told that he should concentrate on the good things in his life and 'the rest will follow'. Now the bitches were packing up.

"Kairi, go."

"But what about--"She asked.

"Go. I don't care what I said yesterday. Go. You're our last chance." Without wasting a second, the girl flung off her headset and all but flew out the door. It ended all for naught as she too, was turned down.

He had one agent, only fuckin' one!, in a yellow van going off without any other guidance, with no backup, to some cult in the middle of nowhere for who knew how long. Adams watched the car until it turned the corner and disappeared.

"FUCK."

* * *

Woohoo! Is it me or does it seem like updated this fairly quickly? Maybe it's just me.

Finally Roxas makes his short but sweet debut appearance. I initially intended for this to happen _last_ chapter, can you believe it? so happy to really get this going. I've started to realize that it's gonna be way longer than I expected it to be.

ANYWAY, for those of you that read SB and CULT first off you're great I love you guys but I got a question. (1) Would you like shorter chapters that get updated quicker? or longer updates that take a few more days? 'cause i know as a reader i'm checking those stories i love just about every day to see if they updated.

(2) Does anyone else think that their spell check is one dumb peice of $#!t? I mean, come on. I don't want every contraction to be two words that's why I made it a contraction! jeez oh flip.

anyway, Have a good day, night, morning, afternoon! :]


	4. Chapter 4

HAPPIEST READING!!

* * *

CULT

The FBI agent in Axel alternately insisted that he should quickly become the boy's _bestest friend _and warned to keep emotional distance from the teen. The little blond boy who'd introduced himself as 'Roxas' to Axel just an hour ago, was making the former almost too easy, chatting up Axel in the most friendly way, and seemed hell bent on making the latter all but impossible. Indeed this -Roxas- seemed to want nothing more than to bring Axel to their home, which he described as a 'sanctuary for any and all', and keep him there. Out of his mouth floated the sweetest words, coated by promises as if they were honey.

He told Axel of how everyone there was just like him, defeated by the merciless soldiers of the unfair and unjust corporate world to which the fierce looking woman in the passenger seat replied, "Amen." He told such wonderful, hope filling stories of the haven that Axel actually became excited to see the place, eager to see this wonderful Sunshine Fields himself and deem it such a glorious place or condemn it for monstrosities. If this was truly a place where dark things thrived as he was told then this boy before him was just a poor little brainwashed boy, taken off the streets and to a place where he was fed and housed and warm and had so much absolute gratitude toward their leaders that he would think their piss was liquid gold spilling from their orifice by an act of god onto them.

And indeed the boy spoke of a god above. He painted him as a genderless deity in the heavens, looking over his beloved children, taking special interest in those who had fallen. Roxas informed him that it is the decree of this god that its followers go out into the world, spread its word to their fallen and beaten down brothers and sisters, and bring them peace again. Roxas said this with so much passion in his voice that Axel had no doubt that he truly believed this was a divine purpose given to him, Aerith and all their other little friends.

The redhead made a mental note that she introduced her self as Aerith to him and not 'Aeris'. Perhaps the latter was a codename for when she went out in the city. Or one was her name just inside the cult, perhaps one of those 'throw away your former life' things that many of the societies pushed their members to do. Perhaps one or the other was her true name, the scanner at the office was most likely running both of the names through its digital records.

However, whether she was really 'Aeris' or 'Aerith' didn't matter much. She too believed whole-heartedly in this god of theirs. The woman in the passenger seat soaked up every word they said, eyes hungry for the life they tell her of in sunshine fields, where you are rewarded for how hard you work, where money doesn't exist, and everyone helps and supports one another.

"Trust me," Roxas said to him, the utmost passion behind his bright blue eyes. "Here you will only succeed as everyone around you succeeds." He turned to give Larxene a wide smile before turning back to Axel. "Both of you will." Axel nodded but could not get the edge of doubt off his face. Roxas just smiled wider at his suspicions. "Don't worry, Axel. You will come to see that I am right. Only happiness lies beyond our open doors."

The agent was becoming more and more wary of the fact that he gave the cult member his real name. Handing out a fake one was like making a barrier between yourself and your target, you knew him, but he didn't know you. You had the upper hand, you were in control. But Axel had never worked an undercover mission before, besides pretending to be someone else for a few measly hours to a criminal to lure him into a false comfort before putting cuffs on him. So he passed on his real name to the teen in hopes it would help him stay in cover better, keep his mind in reality whenever someone called out the name his parents have to him.

Being alone put him in a difficult position. If someone else was with him, they could watch each other's backs, help here or there, and even report him if he fell victim to the pretty words the cult members utter to him. Being alone he had to be twice as alert and careful, twice more cunning, twice as sly in his sleuthing. His sudden acceptance into the cult had been very strange at the very least. He had no idea why the boy had suddenly approached him and the teen had hardly mentioned his reasons for picking the redhead in particular. In this, the boy was an enigma and his secrets were still his own.

For now Roxas had stopped unknowingly informing the undercover agent of his secret society. He had chosen to watch the lush scenery pass him by and Axel took the opportunity to better look at the teen. His first look at the teen had been mostly correct. He was a fairly handsome boy but now that his face wasn't lit up in those strange smiles or motivated to talk about his cult's purposes on earth he was rather…plain. The kind of beauty that you saw everyday and in every magazine, desensitizing you to their pretty boy/pretty girl looks. Nothing terribly exotic or unique about him, he was more boy next door than anything.

Roxas must have felt Axel's stare burning into him as he turned suddenly and caught the agent staring and gave him one of his wide smiles that pinched his big cobalt eyes into a sliver of blue. Making sure to blatantly show his uncertainty, Axel began to smile back nervously. This display of hesitance would make him look like as Axel, if he were who he said he was, should have been feeling. These emotions would easily inspire genuine emotion in the one you were aiming to fool, as they thought they could see what you were truly thinking. It worked as Roxas widened his wide smile even more before turning his happily grinning face to the window to marvel again at the lush countryside that was passing them by.

Beyond them were tall trees and verdant grasslands with large farm animals casually grazing as they passed. With every minute passing, Axel could tell they were getting more and more into the less traveled areas. He was certain that the civilization of Twilight City was not to be found close to where they were all heading. He would really be lost to the world once he stepped foot in wherever they were taking him. To Sunshine Fields, they said, but who knew where that was and if they were actually taking him there.

Beyond Roxas initially telling him where they were going and Aerith butting him with helpful phrases, the occupants of the van didn't speak much. It made Axel more jittery with the silent seconds continuing. He'd only said a few words here and there, not fully trusting himself to speak much and not really finding the need to. After all, they had answered all of the questions a homeless man starving on the streets and suddenly picked up by strangers wearing pastel colors could have. The questions that burned his FBI trained mind went unanswered for the most part, only the vaguest answers here and there. As a man sleeping on the streets at night, he shouldn't have had these questions or thoughts or the reasons to have them at all. His questions would have to be answered gradually and unwittingly by the cult members themselves. However, needed to be one of them before even trying to dig. The members had to believe him one of their own before moving onto the next stage.

Axel flicked his green eyes over to Roxas again, but only briefly, so he wouldn't be caught again. This little cult member was perhaps his greatest triumph so far in the mission and he hadn't done anything yet. For some reason Roxas had picked him and would most likely be his mentor as Axel plunged himself deeper and deeper into his world. Perhaps it really would be in his best interest to befriend the boy, it would make it easier on himself if he did.

_But do not trust him too much, _his conscious told him. _It could only end badly for you. _

---

Aerith slowly stopped the van, pushing the brake and clutch in at the same time to prevent the car from conking out as all manuals do. She happily twisted around in her seat, mouth open, ready to announce something but her words died as her affectionate eyes landed on the boy in the back seat. Roxas had fallen asleep thirty or forty minutes ago, he guessed. Axel didn't exactly have a good grip on time anymore so he could not be sure as to how long the boy had been sleeping. The urge to do so himself grew with very mile they drove but he somehow kept himself awake. He needed to memorize the roads they traveled if he ever needed to run away from the congregation quickly.

It wouldn't be too difficult to follow the trail they took. Maybe twenty minutes ago they turned off from a main road and into a less traveled dirt road. They continued forward, deeper down into the country, following what could actually be just be an animal passage into an even more secluded area. They drove through a shadowed forest, following the curves in the path ahead of them. Aerith didn't even look like she was paying too much attention, like she traveled this road many times and had it engrained onto her memory.

Aerith let out a breathy laugh before flicking her eyes toward Axel. She said in a loud whisper, "Could you wake him up? I'm going to go open the gate. Be quite, Larxene is sleeping too." At Axel's hesitant nod, she smiled and pushed up the emergency brake before unbuckling herself and quietly getting out of the car, leaving the door open. Axel leaned forward to shake the boy awake and saw out the windshield that she was approaching a large seven foot ornate gate that stood proudly just outside the edge of the woods, a hedge on both of its sides continuing out like a fence.

A barrier perhaps, against fleeing members?

Could this invitation into their secret congregation have one way in…and no way out?

Axel had to tear his gaze away from what he presumed was his only escape route. Roxas was still napping soundly in spite of the cogs rapidly turning in Axel's head. The redhead gently shook him with his dirt-covered fingers making the boy stir. But he refused to awaken, even pulling away from the disturbing hand and cuddled against his seat even more. A smile graced the agent's lips, amusement appearing on his features for the first time in hours. He reached forward again, this time jostling the boy harder and longer and coupled the action with a "Rooxasssssss."

The teen grumbled. He turned slowly, eventually facing the back of Aerith's seat and extending himself in a slow full body stretch, puffing his chest out as he bent backward in the chair, finger tips scraping the roof before he suddenly crashed in on himself and flopped his head around to Axel. The boy pouted at him, irate with being woken up. "And what was that for?" He asked, yawning out the last strip of sleep in him.

Axel's mouth suddenly felt dry and his tongue too big for him for no reason whatsoever. His vocals just… randomly shut down.

"Oh, don't pout Roxas. He just did me a favor. I asked him to do it." Aerith informed them in a quiet voice to which Axel nodded feverishly, proving that Aerith was not lying and he was indeed doing her a favor.

Roxas fixed the back of her seat with a steady glare before taking in their location. "Are we home?"

Aerith nodded, leaning over to shake Larxene awake. She, unlike Roxas's slow stretching response to being woken, suddenly jerked forward as she came to, almost smacking her head against the windshield and startling the hell out herself and the other passengers of the car. "Ugh…wha-" Her voice was thick with sleep and coated in phlegm. She cleared her throat and tried again. "What? What happened?"

Aerith shined a smile at her. "We're home, hopefully just in time for supper too!"

Beside him Roxas hummed anxiously at the thought of food. Axel himself felt his stomach clench with anticipation. He had eaten, but that had been around one and it was probably somewhere near five or six o'clock in the afternoon now. He was also famous for having a black hole for a stomach, too. So he was starving! But he was also wary of the idea of eating with these people, eating the food they made. Who knows what kind of stuff they could mix in. He might wake up in the morning naked and in the middle of a cornfield or…not even wake up at all.

"Supper? But it's still early…it's only five now…" Larxene muttered, pulling up her sleeve to glance at a watch. "Is this a normal time?"

"Hmmm," the brown-haired woman uttered. She pulled the emergency brake down and jerked the stick into first gear, letting out on the clutch slowly. The car rumbled forward without any sudden jerks or shudders. She had been driving this van for a while it seems. As soon as she was safely inside, she stopped the car again. "Roxas," she inquired. "Could you go shut the gate for me?"

As the blond boy clambered out of the van she spoke again. "Well I suppose it should still be an hour or so before dinner starts, perhaps you would like a shower? And a change of clothes? After that maybe Roxas and I could give you a short tour," she offered, taking in Axel disheveled state. He grinned sheepishly at her and nodded his head briefly while on the inside he was screaming hallelujah, thank the lord, he was tired, smelly, hair was greasy, and all around feeling dirty. He could do well with a good washing.

"What about a tour?" The teen asked when he climbed back into the van. Aerith started the car up again slowly inching it forward as the road gradually began to sink down. With every second passing Axel began to see the place they called 'home'.

It was a huge collection of brightly colored tents, vivid reds, yellow, and blues. The larger ones he could see ranged in all sizes and shapes. Some were shaped like the Indian tee-pees, others in tower style; wide circle bottoms and pointy tops, and others castle style; rectangle bottoms and side then suddenly arching in a roof with two points, there were even more that he couldn't see well enough to make out. It made Axel think of a traveling circus he saw when he was a child, all the tents holding something new and entertaining.

"Do you think you could show Axel around after he bathes? Just a short tour to take up some time before supper starts? It'll be nice don't you think?" Aerith didn't tear her eyes away from the road to see the blond nod and thus made Roxas speak aloud his agreement. Aerith's eyes crinkled with pleasure. "Great!" She briefly glanced at the woman to her right. "Would you like to wander around with me? There's a lot to see! We probably won't be able to see half even if we spend the hour or so before supper. How about it?"

She must've nodded because Aerith didn't bring it up anymore. Closer and closer the van came to the little village of tents and Axel took in more and more of what he saw. There must have been a hundred tents, probably more. Just rows and rows of them. The vehicle finally made it to the edge of the mass of tent--homes Axel realized. People lived in those bright colored tents. The pink wearing woman gently turned the car to the left, still following that dirt trail. It led her around the throng of living spaces, making Axel realized just how huge and populated the cult was, how many followers they had.

How the flying fuck did they not notice this before?

All these people, how many of them were runaways? How many were filed as missing? How many of them had families that thought they were dead, buried as John Doe somewhere out in the wide, wide world only to be living peacefully in the countryside in a tent, not really giving a shit about the world outside those hedges? Aerith slowed the car to its final stop, punching in the clutch and putting up the emergency brake and turning the car off.

Beside him, Roxas placed his small hand on Axel's bicep, literally jolting him out of his thoughts and making Roxas jump with him. The boy caught his gaze and they shared a nervous laugh. Out of his peripheral, Axel spotted Aerith leaving the car silently, Larxene following with equal grace. The boys hand mindlessly traveled downward, stopping at Axel's elbow. He stared at the red haired man for one of the longest moments in Axel's life. He only reciprocated the tiniest bit, gaze sometimes on Roxas, mostly everywhere else besides his face. The kids stare…it was just too intense for someone his age. It felt like the kid was looking straight into Axel's soul. And there were things there that Blondie did not need scrutinize.

Then Roxas smiled that weird smile of his, slightly different this time with every single one of his teeth showing, grin crinkling up his cobalt eyes into crescents and he spoke the words that must have felt natural for Roxas to say but sent chills up the undercover agent's spine with the way that the boy, this little kid that must be _at least _ten years younger than him, said the words.

"Welcome home, Axel."

He spoke it the way Axel's mother did when he was a child coming home from school.

Loving.

----

Spooked by his passionate words, Axel climbed out the van with wide eyes. In the seconds that he had before anyone could see the emotions flying across his face, he settled his mind. He must've heard the boy wrong, confused his inflection for something else. Even if he didn't it was okay what the boy said, right? He just picked Axel off the streets out of the bottom of his heart and brought him to his home, it would be normal for him to care about Axel. It was like taking someone new under your wind, you were their guidance, their leader in a strange place. You needed some compassion toward your new ward if you were counting on taking care of him. Right? Right? Right.

Roxas was just doing his duty toward Axel, his kindness was just that; kindness. Axel misinterpreted him, saw a look similar to one he longed to see again and molded to the words into something they were not. It was wrong of him to put that kind of behavior on a boy who was just trying to be his new friend in a new world. Roxas was just trying to be his mentor.

"Axel," Roxas called. "Could you come here and help?" He took in a deep, calming breath before going to the boys aide. The back doors of the van were wide open, Roxas reaching in to take a medium sized box in his arms, holding a total of three now. He nodded to the other four still in the van. "Could you take those? They're the last ones and I don't really want to take another trip unless we have too," he said with a small laugh his voice, a smile on his face.

Dumbly Axel nodded, unable to think of anything to say to this. He pulled the objects into his long arms, reading the words OPEN HEARTS printed on the side, the negative spaces in the letters being white hearts. Underneath in the smallest letters were also the words, medical facility. _Medicine? Were these medications? For whom? For what? _

"They're just meds," Roxas said. Axel just about flew out of his skin, thinking wildly that Roxas either just read his mind or he unconsciously said the words aloud. Axel could see his wild blond hair through the window of the car but unable to see a face. "Are you out of the way? I'm gonna shut it." Roxas, checking to see if Axel obediently moved, started backing up, getting closer and closer to the frame of the door and slowly shutting it with a solid 'click' behind him. The teen calmly pushed himself off the door, making sure to keep the valuables in his arms safely tucked away in his arms.

The other door was still wide open. Axel eyed it, flicking his gaze from Roxas to the door before nudging it forward and shoving it closed with a solid kick. It closed with a loud slam, much louder than Roxas's gentle push. He flushed with embarrassment as Roxas twisted around fast to see what caused the loud noise. He connected two and two, for a moment becoming unreadable before he started laughing, bending over, knees trying bow out as he was soon was gasping for breath. Axel chucked nervously, not quite sure what was so funny and not very sure if the blond was laughing at _him_.

"Oh," Roxas gasped. "Oh, that's rich. Aerith's gonna be so pissed if she ever knows you did that." He chuckled softly. "Last guy got a tongue lashing at the least that's for sure." The teenager's blue eyes caught Axel's green and held them. "You're just full of surprises aren't you?"

Unsure of what to say or how to even say it Axel just shrugged. Roxas mimicked the gesture with a gleam in his eyes. "Don't talk much, do you? You've probably said only a handful in the past three hours to me, while I all but told you a novel." He shook his crazy head of messy locks. "Doesn't matter much…no, it does not." He threw his head up and caught Axel eyes easily, the red head seemingly unable to look away from his light blue orbs. "Oh well, follow me. After we put these in stock you can take your bath."

Without checking to make sure the pretend homeless man was following, Roxas walked off in the direction of a stark white tent. Panicking slightly at the thought of his guide leaving him, Axel jogged up to meet him, his longs legs taking two of every one of the Roxas's strides. They walked in silence for all of ten seconds before the red head spoke.

"I'm not trying to be rude…It's just…I…" Axel trailed off, unable to find the correct words to explain his predicament, or rather the predicament Axel the homeless man was going though, not Axel the secret FBI agent that's tricking you right now was going through.

"You're nervous." Roxas provided easily. "I just took you off the streets and promised you a new life; it's a lot to take in. Don't worry; I've been through the exact same thing. After awhile this place just becomes your new life, you'll fit right in, I promise." The self-assured look on his face calmed a piece inside Axel. His worry about being to pull this off was lessening with his words, though it wasn't the worry Roxas wanted to calm. He nodded slowly, added this new bit of information to his small knowledge of the boy.

He didn't see but Roxas's smile grew just the littlest fraction bigger, a bit brighter. Axel definitely hadn't the slimmest chance of seeing but Roxas's heart sped up a fraction at the man's agreement, for reasons only the blond could take a shot at guessing.

They walked in partial silence, the sound of Axel's worn and torn tennis shoes making a dull smack as they down on the dry dirt and Roxas's little patters of bare feet barely making a noise. It seemed like the right time to slyly wring an answer out of Roxas.

"So this is medicine?" The teen's eyebrows flew up as he grinned at Axel, pleasantly surprised.

"So he speaks!" Roxas cried, letting out a short airy laugh at the redhead's peeved expression. "Yes, it's medicine," he shrugged and looked off smugly, obviously being vague to tease him and having fun doing it.

Axel took the bait. "What's it for?"

"Oh, infections. I think they're mostly antibiotics, with like cough syrup and gauze and stuffs for people's allergies, you know. Just the basics." The boy shrugged as if it was common knowledge for cults to carry such things before he ducked his head upon entering the open flaps large white tent. "Come on in," the blond encouraged, Axel ducking down too, farther than Roxas had due to the redhead's height or Roxas's lack of, and when he looked up again, his mind whirled, taking in rapidly all of the things going on.

A blinding light shined in the center of the room, high above Axel's head. _Electricity? Here? _Below it were perhaps ten for fifteen beds, with white pristine sheets on their mattresses, two of which had people lying on them, one was a little girl with a bright pink cast on her little arm, the other across the room was a mansleeping soundly_. _Was this their ramshackle hospitable? In the back were metal shelves, boxes alike to the ones he was currently holding sitting on the red sheet floor, Roxas heading toward its stood in the middle of it all, Larxene right behind her, talking to two women dressed in white cotton clothes. In their bright colorful outfits, Roxas and Aerith stood out, the light above made them shine here. At one of the women's, _nurses_?, curious look Aerith turned to look at him kindly.

"You can put the boxes over there," she pointed graciously, smile never leaving her once, eyes never fading in their patience. Axel stumbled over himself to get his feet moving, trying not to be suspicious looking in front of the others.

Roxas motioned for the boxes as Axel sauntered over to him, setting them one on top of another neatly. Axel stood motionless, unsure of what to do, if he should do anything at all. Roxas stood and without casting a look at him walked past him to another shelf and started rummaging through boxes, taking out items here and there and placing them beside him. Axel followed and stood beside him. "Take those," Roxas demanded after placing all of the items on a white piece of cloth. "It's your bathing stuff, don't loose it!" He started for the opening in the tent, waving to Aerith as he left, Axel following like a lamb to its shepherd.

Axel caught up quick to the blond, Roxas doing all the talking for him as he informed the tall man, "I'm taking you to the showers."

Axel huffed, affronted. "You saying I smell?" Roxas let out a snort.

"You saying you don't?" He asked, one of his light eyebrows lifting as he looked at Axel skeptically. Axel sniffed experimentally at himself, drawing back at his stench.

Roxas let out a hearty laugh, one that pulled and tugged relentlessly at Axel into laughing with him, shocked at how open and easy going the boy was, how easy it was to smile and laugh for him with a total stranger by his side.

"Here," he said, lightness in his voice leftover from the laughter. "We're here."

'Here' was a strip of shower stalls, maybe ten or twelve showerheads on each side, painted wooden walls separating them from each other and giving some privacy. But the sight of them…didn't exactly make Axel want to take a shower anymore. As a agent for the FBI he got paid quite the sum of money, he was used to his own singular private shower in his own apartment, he was used to the bathroom being nice and clean due to the work by the maid he paid every week.

But these…Axel assumed he should just be happy that he had the use of a shower at all, his persona should be elated by the idea even! He would have to put on a happy face and get to business.

"Great," he said while approaching one of the stalls. "So what do I do? Just strip and press go?" Behind him Roxas blushed at the word 'strip' and sputtered out, "Ah, well get inside and, uh, there's a knob you turn. Should get hot water since it's late in the day and the bell hasn't rung. People usually take showers in the morning or before dinner…so," Roxas opened the red painted door. "There ya go?" Axel walked in, Roxas shutting the door for him, calling, "There's a lock on the inside if you want it… Just toss your clothes out to me. I'll get rid of them and get you some new ones before you finish up."

Axel froze in the process of taking off his wire. Kairi said to hide it…But where? Naked, he had no where to hid it and the tracking device still clipped on until Roxas brought back new clothes for him to wear and even after that where would he stash them? If he kept them on his person all day every day, he was sure to be found out. He had been planning to keep them in his old clothes. "C…could I… keep them?" The redhead stilled, waiting for Roxas's verdict.

"Oh," the boy said after a moments pause. "Are you…just not ready to let go of that part of your life?"

"Yeah," he replied. Thank goodness for people like Roxas. They made Axel's excuses up for him. "That's exactly it."

"…Well, that's okay, I guess," murmured Roxas from behind the door. Then his voice brightened up. "You can let it go when you're ready, on your own time. How tall are you?"

"Uh," he said, pulling his ratty t-shirt off, folding it and placing the wire and tracking device inside. He unbuckled his torn jeans and zipped them down. The last time he went to a doctor's office was… a year ago? A year ago he was, "Six one."

"Oh!" Axel opened the door just a few inches to place his clothing on the wooden deck surrounding the stalls, to prevent the fragile devices form getting wet. "I… guess I'll go get you clothes now."

Axel tilted his head up at the boy in pastel yellows, light yellow tunic and darker, more orange-y cotton pants. "They gonna be yellow like yours?"

Roxas straightened up with joy at the thought of Axel's thinking. "Yup," he proudly said. "Sure are." Axel rolled his eyes, missing the boy's adoring look in his blue eyes.

"Great," he said, pulling back into the stall.

"Okay! I'll be right back!"

"Mmhmm." There were two knobs on the wall in front of him, so one must be for hot and one must be for cold. Hmmm. Axel experimentally flicked the right one. He froze, waiting for the water to kick on either freezing or searing hot. However, nothing happened, no water spilled out. The pipes were just beginning to fill with water, the liquid just now running down the pipes and to the showers. Axel frowned and stepped forward to investigate just as the traveling water found the demanding shower stall.

"Ahh! Mother-_shit_!" A hand flew up to protect Axel sensitive eyes from the sudden on burst of offending water to his face and the man stumbled backwards, still confused at to what the hell just happened.

Traumatized and steering clear of the area the showerhead watered he squatted down to examine the goods Roxas demanded he take. Two bars of soap, a shaver, shaving cream, and a towel. No shampoo, no conditioner, no body wash, no good smelly stuff. Just soap and a shaving stuff. Really though, what was he expecting? Expensive cologne to be given to him? An armful of hygienic products? To stock those kinds of items would be expensive, especially so if you were providing for a hundred plus people. To even be given these things were a luxury, especially so due his persona's life.

It was becoming a constant effort to keep in cover, requiring him to reprimand himself for having moments like this. Axel ripped open the box holding the bar of soap and stepped into the spray of water, finding it warm and soothing. He worked the bar over himself, cleansing the past few days of grim before working it through his hair, supposing it would work as well as shampoo. Time slowed for him. In here, he didn't have to pretend to be anyone, he just needed to wash himself. That was perhaps why he was so startled when a hand wrapped on the door.

"Axel!" shouted Roxas. "Don't waste water! Are you done?"

"Yeah, yeah!" He shouted back, rinsing one last time before twisting the water off. He took the white towel and wrapped it around his wet head. "What is it?"

"I got your clothes…" A yellow bundle of cloth appeared at the top of the wooden door. "Here."

Axel easily extended his arms to take them, wondering if the boy was standing on his tip toes to pass them over. His finger brushed the Roxas's as Axel took the parcel away from him. He wiped the other excess water off before pushing his arms threw the big, long sleeved tunic. After he pulled on the pants, frowning at the fact that they weren't quite the right length, and tying the strings as tight as he could around his thing waist, he called to Roxas on the other side of the door, "Now what do we do?"

"Uhm, well. There is about an hour until dinner starts. Would you like to look around? Get a feel for the place?"

Oh, Roxas, Roxas, Roxas. May the boy never learn of Axel's secret acts because he was such a fine informant without even meaning to be so. "Yes! That would be great!"

"Okay, then," Roxas chirped happily. "That's what we'll do."

Axel gently opened the door, giving the blond enough time to avoid being hit. He grinned at the cult member, turning around slowly for optimal viewing of his new look. While the loose pants were a bit short on him, but you couldn't tell much when he stood and the tunic was loose like it should be but more form fitting than he thought it would be and fell to his hip bones. The color probably washed him out but and he didn't have a mirror, but he thought he wore the look well. "How do I look?"

Roxas bit the inside of his cheek. Hard. "Looking sharp."

----

Not a moment after Roxas and Axel left the showers, a bell rung. Startled, Axel swung around, looking for it's source. Soon after several more rang, their deep, hearty sounds echoing each other one after another. Roxas smiled at Axel's behavior and explained to him that they were gongs and were always beaten about an hour before dinner and that they told the workers in the field that it was time to come in.

"Why gongs?" Axel asked while readjusting the assortment he was holding. Roxas insisted that Axel go around bare foot for now on and the grass tickled his feet.

Roxas rolled his eyes with an irritated look on his face. "Just something one of our sisters brought with her a long time ago."

"Sisters?" _He had sisters here?_

Roxas's eyes widened. "I didn't…? Every man here to you, to me, to Aerith is our brother. Every female our sister. Anyway she brought them here and now we use them to tell the people in the fields to come in."

"Oh. Ok." So they were all one big happy family, huh? Roxas nodded happily enough. He pointed to the white tent a few yards away from them, where they dropped off the boxes earlier. "That's our clinic. Aerith and a few others here used to be nurses so don't worry, we have ligament people manning the tent."

_So they were nurses! _"Is that why they wore white?"

Roxas puckered his lips. "Well, yes and no. They've been here for a long time so they have seniority. They choose what colors to they want to wear. It's just a coincidence they chose white and are nurses."

"Oh. So is Aerith a senior here to?" Roxas nodded, happy he was catching on so quick. Axel opened his mouth to ask another question about their uniforms but Roxas pointed to another large tent.

"That is the pottery tent and another pottery tent behind it. And next to it is the weaver's tent.. They make they clothes you're wearing. Later you should go in and thank them for their hard work," he advised.

"I'll make a note of it."

"You're more talkative now," Roxas noticed. "Did the shower take your nervousness away along with your grime?"

With those big innocent blue eyes staring up at him, Axel couldn't lie. So he nodded, not lying but not telling the truth. He was just interested in soaking in as much information as he could. Which Roxas helped him with greatly. There were many work tents set up around the campus, all suited for people's talents. One of those, Roxas said, he would be put in. Apparently you had to do something for the community for the community to do something for you. He pointed out the two kitchens, the various people they came across and what they did. Farming in the fields was one a lot of people did as there were four fields to plant and weed and harvest and generally take care of.

Roxas did also point out a woman who was very pregnant and sitting outside her tent with a friend. "If you are unable to work," he said. "Well, not pregnant but if you get injured somehow you get time off like any other job. But look, even nine months pregnant Penelo is still weaving. Baby blankets, but still. She still finds time to pull her weight."

Axel nodded. Well shit. He wasn't expecting to actually have to _work_ work. Roxas gave him a level look before walking on. After they turned a particular corner he pointed to a large wooden barn. "This place was initially a farm. There are lots of animals here. We have herdsmen who move them from place to place and let them feed on grass and such," he waved his hand around, trying to encompass the entire village with the motion. "There's really a lot to be done around here. It's pretty relaxed depending on what job you have."

"What job will I get?"

The blond furrowed his brow and pouted his lips. "Well, what kind of job do you want?" Axel mimicked his expression.

"Whatever you'll give me." Roxas scoffed and rolled his eyes. He started walking forward again, faster, agitated. He led Axel deeper and deeper into the maze of the village. Axel rushed to keep up with him, desperate not to lose his guide. They stopped at a tee-pee shaped hut, but instead of the animal skins hung around the outside, a thick yellow covering was laced around it in the same style. Roxas opened the flap to it.

"I live here," he said. "You can put your stuff in here until we get a tent of your own." After Axel carefully placed his parcel on the inside Roxas answered his question. "I can't just decide for you. What are you good at? What did you do?"

Axel laughed bitterly. "I lived on the streets." Horror stricken, Roxas rushed to fix his mistake. Axel held up his clean hands. "Don't worry, no harm done. I was pretty good in shop class when I was in high school." This was a truth in his lie, he _was_ good in shop when he was in high school.

"Oh, really?" Roxas processed this as he walked backwards, trying to place this talent into a job offered in Sunshine Fields. "I might be able to work with that. But I think you should try doing other things, until you find stuff your good at, you never know."

"Well, what do you do?" The blond paused before continuing walking.

"I work in the garden, with Aerith." Axel furrowed his red eyebrows in an effort to put to and two together all by himself.

"But I thought you said that she was a nurse."

"She is," he said simply, moving out of the way of another yellow clothed boy. Roxas spun around to walk the correct way, throwing his hands behind his head, never falling a step behind Axel. He movements were all graceful, all natural. Axel was nervously stepping around in his bare feet, not wanting to step in something gross.

"But she also works in the garden?"

Roxas sent a mocking grin his way. "Bingo." Axel rolled his eyes, letting his tease slide right off of him.

"So what, am I going to try on every one on until I find something that fits me?" Axel sarcastically said.

"Yup. Every day until you can do _something_ around here that's helpful."

"So, I'm going job hunting," the redhead said blandly, clearly not looking forward to it. Roxas grinned at him and was prepared to make a reply but somewhere in this vast village of tents, another gong was hit. This time it was hit repeatedly four times in a row. The others started to join in soon. The steady one, two, three, four beat they made was so loud. It sounded like it was coming from right next to them but he couldn't see one anywhere.

"What's going on?!" Axel shouted to Roxas. The boy laughed, the sound being completely drowned out by the orchestra. He took Axel's arm, drawing the man down to his level to shout in his ear, "The festivities begin!"

"What?!" He shouted. Roxas's eyes were all but twinkling as he gave him a wide smile full of mischief and took Axel's larger hand in his. Axel, on guard now and suspicious, tried to pull away but Roxas would not let him go. The boy's face had nothing but genuine innocent excitement, there was no mockery to be found, or malicious intent. Axel found himself being led by him into the sudden parade of people, all coming out of the surrounding tents. Axel's eyes widened at the sight of so many people in yellows, blues, pinks, purples, every color of the goddamn rainbow around him.

They were all talking, all laughing, their voices mingled in the air and so they got louder and louder in their desire to be heard by one another. Soon they were louder than the gongs, or perhaps their banging had stopped. Axel bumped into someone with every step he took, his movements clumsy in the tight jungle of people. Roxas clamped his hand harder than ever, tangling Axel's fingers with his, to prevent the redhead from being pulled away from him, Axel hypothesized. But this was wrong as Roxas just wanted to know how well their hands fit together. He was pleased to take note that his hand fit perfect within Axel's. _He_ must fit perfect with Axel.

Roxas's chest fluttered with excitement.

* * *

Roxas is so hot for Axel. :] Kinda late update. Wanted to update yesterday… Missed my deadline by… an hour. It's like one in the morning here, XO. I got distracted by this card game on my ipod, Klondike? Its really mind stealing. ANYWAY But it's only like three days since I updated SB right? And only two of those days were me writing and I got a lot done. I think I update pretty fast, myself. I really just don't want this to be one of those stories that takes two months to update, ya know? You know.

Ahahahhahahahha. :] The fun parts are finally getting close! I can't wait! Whooo. I'm sleepy. Tomorrow I'm gonna fix up my other chapters, cause I saw some STUPID, STUPID, STUPID mistakes I made. Oh, I'm gonna keep doing long chapters. K? K. Nighty night~


	5. Chapter 5

HAPPIEST READING MY INSOMNIAC READERS WHO STAY UP LATE AND ARE THE FIRST TO READ THIS. ILU

* * *

CULT

Kairi Freah did not have many friends. So when she watched one of her few hard won friends in Twilight City be all but kidnapped by possible psychopathic sex fiends living in a forest, she was tad bit upset. But she was very good at hiding her true emotions at work and no one could tell. Except for, that is, Zexion Gray who had the observation skills of Sherlock Holmes.

"Don't be so glum," Zexion advised. "You know if he was actually abducted by sex fiends, Axel would be in _heaven_."

Kairi snorted. "Yeah, he would be. Pure bliss. And then they would sacrifice him as he came for one of their bloody, cannibalistic rituals. And tear his heart out for their god. Don't give me that look. I saw it happen in _Apocolypto_," she fretted. "That kind of stuff happened."

"In 500 BC Mexico," Zexion deadpanned. Kairi flushed.

"Yeah, well. It still happens. Cults are very fond of _mass suicide _too. He could be innocently drinking a glass of water and wham!He and the other three hundred people are dead awaiting the end of the world or aliens coming or some shit." Kairi ran a hand through her wine red hair. "I'm just worried. I mean all sorts of bad things could happen by Wednesday."

"It's three days away," the slate haired man calmly stated after taking a drink of his coffee. "Do you really think he's that incapable of protecting himself?"

Kairi squirmed under his gaze. "…No."

"You think he's so stupid that he would blow his cover within three days?"

"…No."

"See? And I know even better than you that he is capable of keeping himself alive and well. Keep in mind Gargantua." Zexion shook his head slowly, his visible eye widening in disbelief at the memory. "He cheated death once; he knows how to do it again."

Kairi pursed her Rose 5 colored lips. "Yeah, yeah, I suppose. And there's what happened at Monstro too. Well if anyone could pull this off, it would be Axel," she giggled. "He always said he was like a one man team. Could do all of our jobs easily and at the same time, he was so good."

"Exactly. Axel can do this. Did Tracy find anyone that matched the boy's description? Or anyone under Aeris or Aerith?" He asked. Once again, they were back at head quarters. Only two hours had gone by since Axel was driven away in that yellow van but the fact that he was gone was becoming obvious. His empty desk stood ominously quiet in its corner, an abnormality since its occupant was usually very loud and obnoxious when on duty. To the right of the empty desk Kairi slumped on her seat.

"No," she stated. "Tracy didn't find any matches of the boy. She's still going through the criminal records we have for Aeris and Aerith. None so far."

"Could be that she doesn't have one," he suggested. "Run it through articles and I'll look up tax records with the name and cross reference them with Twilight City." He scooted his cheap rolling chair and eyed Axel's empty one, wondering idly if the other agent would be able to tell that he sat in it. Probably, he snorted. He probably set traps around to tell.

"Okay…should I keep trying to find the boy?" She asked. Axel was in his care right now. Knowing who he really was could benefit the redhead, give him some leverage.

"Yeah go ahead," Zexion said, already typing fast on his keyboard. "What were your margins last time?"

"Um, I think it was male, blond, ages 14-18, Twilight City. And I put in the picture I took to compare facial structures." She typed the keyboard for a moment and did several clicks; bring her up to their own database of missing people.

"Sounds good. Just run it through the whole U.S. this time."

Kairi whined, "But that'll take forever!"

Zexion chuckled. "Well, it's not like we don't have the time." He drew up Tracey, what they called their search engine for their database TRON who held every state filed record and report. Somewhere in TRON there will be an 'Aeris' or an 'Aerith'. Somewhere in there will also be a blond boy who took away one of their agents. The government had everything about anyone, whether it was a birth certificate to their first license to their DUI's. You just needed to know what to search, which key words to use. TRON and Tracy were very picky. You could be searching all-day and night and not find a thing because you didn't look up the right phrases or the correct date.

"Well, whatever is you two girls are talking about you _don't_ have time to do it," Adams announced as he sauntered into their office space within headquarters. The two agents looked up their superior officer.

"What do you mean?" Kairi asked, narrowing her eyes at him. His causal and care-free attitude was making her very suspicious.

Adams gave her a wide grin that stretched his scar even further. "We are huntin' down an arms dealer that ran into our jurisdiction. Daniel Xaldin," he said proudly, his grin working even harder against his grim features. "The holder of a spot on our prestigious most wanted list. Been selling all sorts of weapons to gangs all across the United States of America. Slipped up and now were gonna see to it that his empire falls."

Kairi gaped at the news but not with joy at the fact they had the honor of bringing down a wanted arms dealer, oh no. "What about Axel?" she cried.

"What about him? He'll check in on Wednesday like he should. We're not going to just wait around like little pubescent girls for him to call. We have work to do," Adams told her, irritation coming over him, threatening to take away his jolly mood.

"But what about Axel? We need to do more on this case, we need more information!" The little red head jumped up as she said this, angry at her Boss's lack of interest in the well-being of one if his agents. You would think that after he lost one… Kairi shook away the insensitive thought. That was a terrible thing to think.

"On what? On who?" He sneered. "We have no leads, no real names. There is no angle to search. We have nothing until Axel checks in. Until _he_ gives us more intel, we are going to keep busy and do our jobs. You got that, Freah?"

She sat back in her seat. She hadn't though of it that way. She was only trying to be a good friend and partner to her missing fellow agent. "..Yessir." Adams eyed her for a moment more before turning back to his other agent. Zexion wasn't one to pick a fight but they all needed to be on the same page. To be a good team everyone had to have the same singular goal in mind.

"How about you, Gray? You got that?"

Zexion looked at him blankly, surprised he even had to ask. "Of course. However, while we are hunting down Xaldin we can keep Tracey running, correct? Might as well continue with what little we have. As long as it doesn't interfere with our primary investigation of the arms dealer of course," he added. He flicked his eyes to his fellow agent, giving her the little back up she needed. She smiled at him and mouthed 'Thank you' when Adams turned his back to her.

The special agent considered his words for a moment before nodding. "Yes," he absently said, already walking over to his personal desk and flipping open a manila folder. "That would be just fine."

Kairi let out a breath of relief. It didn't seem right at all to just go on another mission while Axel was doing god knows what in who knew where. It was kind've like déjà vu, a memory resurfaced of one of her most troubling cases, one she completed over a year ago. Her last one at Destiny Isle headquarters in fact, the last one with her first team. She felt the familiar tug of fear and regret at her again. God that was most terrifying experience if her life and she only behind the scenes. She couldn't even imagine, nor did she want to, what it was like for Sora. God, she missed him. How could she ever continue her life without Sora bouncing around happily in it each day, she thought a year ago. It seemed impossible to going on. But it wasn't and she did.

---

"Hurry Axel!" Roxas cried. "Run faster, you slow poke!" He giggled, because he himself was sprinting ahead of Axel since he no longer needing to grip the man's hand as hard as he did earlier. The swarm of people continued to grow as they moved throughout the entire village. They all converged together and marched on to the edge of the community, eventually coming to the last brightly colored tent and to a large flat field. It was here that Roxas found it amusing to let go of the baffled redhead's hand and run off, leaving him behind.

"Roxas!" The agent called, chasing after him. He took special care to keep his eye on the boy's back and not confuse him with another in yellow. "Roxas, wait up!" It was harder than he thought it would be, people kept coming and coming and getting in his way. Roxas zigged and zagged, laughing joyously at the apparent fun he was having.

"C'mon, Axel! Can you catch me?" He called back, taking advantage of his knowledge of the place over Axel's confusion. Axel smirked to himself. Oh, he could catch Roxas all right. But could Axel the homeless man? The redhead jumped over a log and decided, yes, yes he could.

He was getting closer and closer, now using his upper hand. As an FBI agent you had to run fast for a long amount of time, just incase your suspect was on the run and you needed to chase him down. He thought of Roxas as a target instead of his mentor and sprinted after him. Soon the laughing runaway was right beside him, tears in his blue eyes. The blond squawked as Axel reached out to grab his arm and flinging himself the other way, laughing like a maniac as he did so. "Roxas," Axel whined, feeling cheated.

"Run, run, as fast as you can!" Roxas cried as he ran though a crowd of people. _You can't catch me, I'm the ginger bread man_, Axel finished for him. By now, he was grinning, finding this chase fun after all. It was like being a child again, playing with your friends. This was just a grown up game of tag and he was IT.

Axel sped through crowds of people, who chucked as he went by, trying to catch his blond quarry. They smiled at him knowingly as he passed and said to their pastel wearing friends, "That's the one brother Roxas picked. Looks like they're having fun." Their friend would nod, smiling wider as the little blond evaded the taller redhead again and would say back, "Looks like he picked a good one."

Roxas was running out of steam. His breathing was getting more ragged and his face had a red flush to it. Axel was just getting started, his lungs were used to three times the long chase, used to three times the challenging frontier rather than flat land with only shaven down logs lying around and people milling about. This was easy. He caught Roxas's yellow sleeve, clutching it tightly, saying, "Caught ya!" The blond squeaked, pulling himself harshly away from Axel's tight grip to no avail. The redhead refused to let go. Roxas smartly ducked down and out, pulling himself out of his yellow tunic.

"Nevaaah!" He cried as he ran off again. Axel tied the bright yellow shirt around his waist, grinning as he took off after him. Roxas's early start didn't do much for the teen. He was jogging away now, too tired to continue sprinting, it took too much effort, too much energy that he didn't have. It was easy to catch up to him this time. Axel dodged a man in dark green and a woman in purple before tackling the boy to the ground, swift and hard to the floor as he was taught. Roxas squealed as Axel threw is arms across the blond's middle and clutched him tightly. He stumbled, his and Axel's combined weight causing him to tumble to the soft grass. It wasn't pretty. Roxas's head smacked against the dirt and his elbow hit the ground at such an angle that it hurt so much but made him laugh as it throbbed. Axel's head collided with the blond's ribs and was smacked by a bony elbow right on his temple. He reared back while clutching his hurt forehead and laughing with the boy he tackled. Fat tears came to Axel's eyes, falling down his face and into his open grinning mouth.

"What the he-hell was that?" He asked looking down at Roxas. The way in which they fell made caused their legs to entangle, Axel's on top of Roxas's. Roxas lay flat on the grass, the blades tickling his face and ears. He shrugged.

"I need a reason to have fun and laugh?" He raised an eyebrow at the redhead, one side of his mouth twitching into a lopsided grin. "What kind of world makes it strange to do that?" Roxas cocked his head at the redhead on top of him, taking in the sight. Axel had a little pink flush across his cheekbones from the race. He looked young and carefree, gone were the worry lines on his forehead, gone was that look of trepidation he had on before. Roxas smiled as Axel untangled his legs from his own and watched as the redhead stood, nervously scratching at the back of his head.

"So…" he started, glancing back to the growing number of people converging around unlit stacks of firewood. "What's going on? I mean, what's everyone doing?"

Roxas sat up and raised a brow at him. "You're not too bright are ya?" Axel snorted at him, glaring. Roxas kept his grin in place as he informed him, "It's meal time. Everyone eats together, always." He held up a wriggling hand which Axel pointedly ignored. It wasn't until Roxas started flinging it around wildly that Axel grasped it and pulled him up. He was strong, tough wiry muscle under the thin layer of yellow clothing, Roxas slyly squeezed his bicep when the moment presented itself, passing it off as losing his balance, and felt pride swell up in him at how firm it was. _Wow. _He ducked his head down so Axel wouldn't see his faint blush. Roxas laughed as he noticed the shirt tied around the man waist, enunciating how thin it was. _Wow_. He hadn't really noticed he'd been shirtless all this time. Did Axel notice him? A quirky smile appeared on his face.

"Can I have my shirt back?"

Axel awkwardly untied the bright yellow tunic and handed it him. "So that's it? We're just eating?" Augh, god he hoped so. Axel was starving. Roxas paused with his arms already through the sleeves. He was skinny, Axel now noticed, but no more than normal for his age. He was happy to note that this particular cult didn't use starvation methods on its members. Some did and it would make the members devote fast.

"Well, yes and no." Roxas stated, pulled it over his head. "We are eating but we are not only eating."

Axel stared. "Excuse me?"

"I said 'we are eating but'--"

"I heard what you said," Axel snapped. "But what else are we doing?" Roxas cocked his head at him.

"Well, we're celebrating of course!" Oh, god. Axel paled. This wasn't going to be a sacrificing/suicide thing was it? He wasn't going to be eating bead one minute and chew through a cyanide pill the next and later be lying dead with all the other members, was he? Shit. But Roxas continued, clearly not seeing the worry etched all over Axel's features as the blond started walking toward the campsites. "It's your welcoming party."

Axel blinked, jogging up to him. "Welcoming party?" He asked. That was…definitely not what he was expecting to happen. He felt himself puff up at the thought of a party. For him? Aw, you shouldn't have!

Roxas nodded rapidly. "Yup. But not just for you so wipe that look off your face," he teased, sending Axel's glowing face a sideways glance. "It's for all of our new members. You and Larxene who came to us today. And Jane and Tarzan who came to us yesterday. We go to the city to find more people who need us and are like us, you see," he added for Axel's sake, though the man already knew this. Axel bit his tongue at the thought.

Roxas all but bounced on his feet as he walked. "Yup. It is our duty to go into the city and take in strangers. Like you," he stated, smiling that strange smile of his. Axel was growing used to it, marking it off as a little personality quirk.

"And like you." Roxas brightened.

"Yes! Yes, exactly. Just like you, just like me…" They wandered into the community of campfires, at least six large logs making a circle around each. There must have been at least ten, maybe fifteen circles around the large field. Roxas waved and smiled at people as he passed, chatting with them only here and there and for only a few seconds. Axel counted how many people sat on each shaven log. Three people sat comfortably on one, four sat a little close together but still fit, they were determined to get all they could out of their seats. He did the mental math and balked. Even if there as only ten fires, and only if three people sat on the log, it made 180 people.

One hundred and eighty, he repeated in his head. One hundred and eighty people. How many of them were from Twilight City? Or maybe even from Traverse? Axel glanced at Roxas, who stopped to chat with the very pregnant woman he pointed out before, feeling her large belly with a look of awe on his face. He never did find out of they only went to Twilight to recruit. The conversation wasn't that far gone to spark up again was it? He waited until Roxas excused himself to try to bring it back to life.

"Do you only go to Twilight City?" He asked quickly, the agaent in him eager for more information. Roxas raised an eyebrow at the sudden question, pursing his lips.

"…No," he slowly said. "Sometimes we feel a greater pull to go to places like Royal or Olympia or even make the long trip to Traverse." _Bingo. _Roxas continued on, talking about how many people they might be able to help in one place compared to another or taking in its individual state to help decide whether or not they should go there but Axel was just thinking about how great the information he was getting was. How much it would help the team in their investigation and general knowledge of the cult.

"--and then we, oh! Axel, we're here!" His blond guide exclaimed. He pointed to the logs before him, which were painted bright yellow, unlike all of the other logs around which were left with their natural brown bark and tan wood. He eyed it warily, different wasn't always better. He spotted Larxene sitting on one log and staring in rapture at Aerith as she told some epic story in her quiet voice. Two other people sat on a yellow log to the right of the pink wearing woman, watching her with close intent too.

Axel suddenly recognized these two as her recruits from yesterday. He felt a shiver of shock at how different they looked. The woman who looked so worn, tired, and all around miserable yesterday looked so much more happier today. All of the gaudy make-up was off her face, actually making her look ten years younger and she was smiling softly, shaving three more off. Next to her was the homeless man. He awkward and strange in the bright yellow clothing, his dark skin and dark dreadlocked hair contrast to it. But he was looking more alive, more alert, and aware. It was as if someone just now opened his eyes to the world, he was seeing it for the first time.

Axel shuddered at the sight of them. One day here and every trace of who they once were was gone, vanished. It was like a dramatic before and after picture, an extreme makeover. One day, he repeated. One day and they were already dancing to the cult's tune. Perhaps they were so truly desperate for a change in their lives that they were eager for the new life promised here. But Axel was not. He didn't need a new life nor he have the want for one. He had things that he couldn't just throw away, like his mother, his father, and his team at headquarters, hell even his plants in his apartment! He had things to take care of, a purpose outside of those hedges that kept everyone in.

And he was also here with an ulterior motive.

There was no way he would succumb like these people. He just had to keep his head in the game and before he knew it this whole game would be leagues behind him. It was his job to be here, not a luxury. His job. He took in everything around him with that mindset. It was his job to do this and who else would, if not him? Axel took the closest golden log, sitting on its shaven down and flat top. Roxas plopped down next to him, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hey there! How are you today Sister Jane? Brother Tarzan?" Roxas eagerly asked them, honest curiosity coming over him. Axel listened in with a trained ear, picking up words and phrases that he would relay to his team, informing them of whatever he could.

Jane brightened. She surprised the hell out of him when she said in a subtle English accent, "Ah, very good, very good. I feel like my 'eart has been _lifted_, like it 'as wings." She turned the miniscule inch to the man next to her before looking back at the blond. "I'm just, I'm just so _happy_." She let out a light laugh. "Isn't that so strange?"

"It's not sister," Roxas replied, eyes shining with enthusiasm. "It's really not. It's natural of you to feel that way. It's as you said. You're finally happy. You should take joy in the fact that you're no longer tied down as you were. Your heart might as well have wings," Roxas laughed. "Because you're free."

Jane soaked up every word he said, her brown eyes widening, an awed smiled coming into place. "I am, aren't I?" She murmured. "I'm free." She giggled, turning to the big man beside her. A reddish dog slept at his feet, Axel saw, smiling a bit. He loved dogs. "Do you feel this way, Tarzan? Like you're free?"

Tarzan thought. It was ridiculous how easy it was to tell he was thinking hard, because his thick brow deepened; his lips came into a frown as he struggled to put words to thoughts.

"I feel," he said, voice thick and deeper than Axel could ever hope his to be. "I feel like I am among people like myself. Finally." He nodded to himself as he finished, finding his words to be the ones he wanted. Jane softened beside him and placed her arm on his large hand.

"Jane and Tarzan came together, here, yesterday," Roxas explained to him after noticing Axel's intense stare. "Usually people who are found together stay close to one another. It's like a support system. Someone there who knows. Although really," Roxas chuckled. "We all know."

Larxene was looking more relaxed than he last saw her. She too wore yellow and her feet were also bare but she had that aura of disinterest about her, as if she didn't care about you at all, let alone want to and she definitely did not want to be s support system to anyone, ever. Axel grimaced. "I don't think me and her are gonna be the best of buds."

Roxas chortled. "Wouldn't expect you to. It's okay. I'll be here for you. Really," he said very softly. "I'm all you'll ever need."

Axel leaned in closer to him. He didn't quite hear what he said. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

Roxas faltered for a second. "I, uh, I said that you don't have to. I'll be here to guide you along, give you advice as you need it. Just generally be your friend as you get used to it here." Axel nodded, taking his words of encouragement. So he really was Axel's guide. His teacher, sort of.

"What about those three? I mean, with you and me it's one on one but…" He trailed off hoping Roxas would pick upon his meaning and finish for him.

The blond understood what he was implying and easily replied, "Easy. Aerith will look after them all. She found them and she will take care of them. I found you and I will take care of you." Axel widened his eyes. Three people at once? Wouldn't be hard for her to mother to all of them at once?

Roxas licked his lips as Axel thought about Aerith's situation. All of these questions Axel had. He was very curious, very…very wanting-to-know. He was genuinely interested in Roxas's world and if this curiosity was any clue, wanted to be a part of it. _Oh, Axel, _he thought, _you were part of my world the minutes I saw you, even before then. _Roxas smiled.

"Oh!" Aerith called, snapping both of the men out of their thoughts. "Here comes Su!" Axel turned to the direction she shouted this to and saw a small woman in pigtails and a large man in orange coming their way, the man holding a large serving plate and the woman held a handful of Styrofoam plates, which Axel raised a fine brow at.

"HI!" The short woman exclaimed as she closed in. She was Asian and very pretty. Fine lightly tanned skin and brown almond eyes. She had on a bubbly smile and regarded them all with a friendly atmosphere. She also seemed very happy to be here. Axel, being the closest to her, was wrapped in a tight hug, she squealing in delight, he growing quite alarmed. He threw a widened look to Roxas; pleading the blond to help him but Roxas just bit his knuckle hard, holding back howling laughter at Axel's situation.

"Hi," she repeated. "I'm Su!" She thrust a hand into his face, which he shook after an uncertain moment. "Oh! I'm just so happy!" She swooped in for another tight hug.

"Su," her companion said softy beside her, lightly touching her shoulder. "Su, remember yourself." Su pouted but let go. The large man turned to Axel now, extending his own chubby hand. He was huge! With his bald shaven head and wise, content face, Axel thought he was looking at the Buddha himself. He too was Asian, though Axel wasn't confidant at all in his ability to place where exactly they were from. Probably Traverse. "Hello," he said gently. "I am Chein-Po. It is a pleasure to meet you."

"…It's nice to meet you too?" Axel replied. He sent a glance to Roxas who smiled at him gently, encouraging being friendly. Chein-po smiled at him, like the gentle giant he was, and placed the large serving plate on the flat surface of a log not being used.

"Enjoy."

Su waved back to them frantically, running to catch up with him. "I'll come back, later!" She promised. Axel, still chocked at the whole mess, waved back cautiously. Roxas took pity on him and looked at him with mocking sympathetic eyes. "She's not always like that." Axel rolled his eyes and let out a long breath. A look crossed his face that Roxas named 'Thank God for that!'.

The redhead leaned over to examine the food, stomach growling at the sight of it. Some sort of meat was browned and cooked to perfection, brown rice, breads, and vegetables surrounding it. Mmmmm. It looked delicious. Well, really a piece of burnt toast would look scrumptious to Axel right now. God, he was hungry. He made for the food but Roxas smacked at his hand. Axel withdrew it fast, looking for all the world like a kicked puppy. Such treatment! Roxas tsked at him.

"No," he hissed to the agent, like he really was a badly behaving dog. "You have to wait until The Wise Man comes and speaks."

Axel narrowed his eyes. The wise man? Who the hell was he? Axel snorted in his mind. He wasn't…he wasn't their prophet was he? Oh, god. The thought was laughable. He really was, wasn't he? The way Roxas spoke of him…made him sound to be a, a saint! Axel couldn't wait to see their messiah. Twenty bucks says he's the one that's been doing all of the sexual predating. Isn't that the case with all of these leaders? They take advantage of their loyal, misguided followers and use them for all their worth, usually added a 'you are a blessed child' after the fact that he just raped them of their purity.

The redhead was not a man of real faith but he could easily tell a sham when he saw it, a lie, a hoax. He was not blinded by pretty promises or sweet words. He would see the man for what he was. Roxas nudged him insistently with his elbow, forcing Axel to look at him but the blond himself was not even seeing Axel right now. He was gazing to the right of the agent, behind him, a look of utter rapture, adoration, maybe even obsession in his eyes. Axel hesitantly turned, putting himself in the shoes of the homeless man Roxas 'found'.

The man before did not look a thing as he expected. Either a handsome charming rat of a man or an ancient greasy, fat, greedy man with grubby hands would have been just fine, would have been normal for the circumstances, would have been expected. Someone who used his or her great looks or their great words to get such a following. Someone who would without a second thought would trample over his own mother to gain an upper hand.

The man that stood before Axel did not look like any of those things. The Wise Man looked like just that; wise. He was older man with long white-blond hair and a matching goatee, dressed in pure white, a red scarf hung around to protect him from the cool breeze of the night approaching. His face was kind but stern. He looked a lot like Axel's own father, who was no doubt at the hospital still, gazing at their comatose loved one. The Wise Man had the attention of everyone and by everyone, Axel really meant _everyone_. Their little circle of logs sat right in the middle of the other ten, twelve, or fifteen around them. Everyone was watching him with the same look that Roxas had. In his pure white garbs in the rapidly setting sun, he shone like a beacon of light.

The Wise Man.

"Hello," he said loudly to the people around him. "Good evening." He took a moment to look at the group closest to him. The newest members of his cult, his new followers, sure to become as devote to him as all the others, Axel thought. Another brainwashed puppet. He might not look like what Axel suspected but he was the leader of a cult no matter what. Axel wouldn't forget that little tidbit.

"Hello. I am Ansem Wise," he told them. "Welcome to my home. Are you are?" He asked Aerith's first picks who replied to him in small voices, wowed, as did Larxene. Aerith just about burst with pride during this moment, like she was a mother showing off her award-winning children. Ansem quietly smiled at them before turning and looking at Axel. In the small fraction of a moment that their eyes met, Axel freaked. It felt as if he was looking into Axel's very soul, with those light blue eyes of his. _This was it_, Axel panicked,_ he saw right through me! Fuckin' cover, fuckin' Roxas, fuckin' FBI! Oh, god they're gonna kill me and use my intestine for their meats and I'm gonna die without ever meeting Francesca Cherrybottom or see the new James Bond movie. BULLSHIT. _Then Ansem did the most peculiar thing.

He smiled politely. "Hello. And who might you be?"

Roxas jolted up, a beaming smile on his face. "Axel. This is Axel. I found him." The sense of unmarred pride in his voice went unnoticed by Axel who was still locked onto Ansem, suspicions rousing now that he felt his cover was safe. Ansem Wise. Axel catalogued the name, waiting for two days to pass so he could tell Kairi to look it up. It was an uncommon name, just like Aerith or Roxas was. It should be simple for Tracy to find him amongst TRON's files.

"Axel," Ansem repeated. He looked at him with renewed interest. "Axel, welcome. All of you welcome. Everyone, please welcome our new sisters; Jane and Larxene and our new brothers, Tarzan and Axel," he said to the groups of followers. In a rush, noise filled in the silence Axel hadn't notice surrounded them. All at once they shouted greetings, hellos mixed in with hellos, deep voices shouting welcomes along side high-pitched ones. Everyone greeted them, so loud were there salutations that Axel flushed at how large the community was, how vast it ran, how many god damned people there were.

So many people he was up against.

As the rush of voices died down, Ansem spoke again. "Brothers, sisters, come join together as we feast again to welcome in our new brethren! So please, sit, eat, drink, talk and come by to personally to welcome our new friends." Ansem shouted this to his leagues of followers who all shouted merrily back at him. Axel kept his mouth shut during the whole procedure, jaw tight and aching. He gradually calmed as food was served and talk was had, about everything going on. From the fields, to the medical supplies to the cow named Shelby giving birth to a healthy calf, to what so and so was doing and whatever whatshisface did that day, and how pretty the little baby girl whatshername gave birth to was. Axel participated only here and there, mostly devouring the wealth of information as it came him way, mostly mumbling to Roxas with the new questions that came to him, mostly savoring the delicious whatever the fuck he was eating was, mostly keeping an eye on Ansem.

He…seemed like a normal old dude. Like a Dad curious about what his kids were up to nowadays. It was as if all of these mismatched people from mismatched towns really were his children and he was their father, their guidance in life. He talked with such benevolence in his voice, so softly he talked about him and her, they and it, how much emotion crossed his face at the mention of what and that's, how genuine he said things about them.

Was this really 'Complete and utter bullshit'?

---

Axel was drunk.

He knew he was drunk. Scratch that, he was almost there to the magical land of Shitfaced. But right now it didn't seem to be a problem to him. The fact that he was drinking liquor, something he swore he would never do again and actually hated with a passion, didn't really matter much now to him. He was a world away, in a happy, cheerful world where nothing could hurt him nor did anything want to hurt him. He was safely tucked away, like a caterpillar in the cocoon.

It was the beer talking he knew, the toxins in the liquid dumbing his brain and slowing his senses. He shouldn't be doing this he knew, he knew, he knew but everyone else was drinking and Axel the homeless man had no qualms or reasons not to drink, so down, down, down went the drink. And then another and another and another.

Axel was no lightweight! Hell, he went to Oblivion Academy, he sure as hell was no lightweight. But God, this must be the nectar of gods, it was so good, so light, so frothy, so…yum. So he drank another and another. But can you blame 'im? Everyone else was drinkin', havin' a good ol' time. Laughin', jokin', smilin', smiling, smiling, smiling, everyone was smiling. He was smiling. Harder than he had in…oh god, he didn't know!

"Mm…Roxas!" He slurred, 'Roxas' becoming 'Racksuessseseesss' as his mouth fumbled around the complicated word. "Roxas, Roxas, Roxas." The blond, happily sober, had one of the taller man's arms draped across his shoulders and a fierce grip on one of his bony hips, effectively dragging the man by himself. After all Axel was no help, he might as well be dead weight were it not for his drunken ramblings.

Roxas looked down at Axel amused. "Uh huh, yeah, Axel?" It was dark, very late. The moon was above them, one-half shining brightly down at them, guiding their way. The feast had long since been over, and the drinking just over. The fires were light as the sun finally sank, each small flame lighting up their small area, glowing its little fiery butt off. Axel stumbled over his confused big feet, almost taking himself down and Roxas with him. He giggled and snorted as the blond grumbled, adjusting his grip on the surpisingly skinny man and soldiered on forward.

"Rooooooooooxaaaaaaaaas," Axel crooned into his ear. Were the circumstances a little different, if Axel wasn't oh, he didn't know, NOT DRUNK OFF HIS ASS, Roxas would have let a shiver go down his spine, let himself feel something other than simple amusement at Axel actions. But no, Roxas wasn't like that. It went against all of his carefully constructed morals to do such a thing; to take advantage of a drunken man was wrong, no matter how enticing said drunken man was.

"Aaaaaaaaaxeeeeelll," Roxas replied in the same fashion. He nodded to a friend passing also with her own baggage leaning precariously on her. She shrugged and rolled her eyes; a gesture that said 'Eh, what can you do?'. Roxas chuckled as she went by. What can you do? He glanced at Axel who was having trouble forming letters into words and words into sentences that made sense. He settled for grunting and snapping up his face, his stunning pale face glowing in the moonlight!, to grin at him.

"Smilesssss," he settled for, his own lopsided and his eyes all squinty in the effort. He was so adorably drunk that Roxas did as he was told and smiled at the intoxicated man. Axel let out harsh laughter at nothing and let Roxas guide him down deeper into the village. After drinks went around, Ansem excused himself and Axel became much friendlier to everyone. Perhaps he was intimidated by The Wise Man's stature and strength of being. Whatever the reason, Axel greeted everyone that came by, often drinking to his or her name. Everyone seemed to like him for which Roxas took in with joy.

Everyone like his little redhead, everyone got along with him and while they were drunk, Roxas was sure everyone would absolutely love him when they become sober.

For now, everyone was tired and buzzed and going home, wherever home was. Roxas was headed to his little tent and because Axel had no tent, the redhead was staying with him. The thought sent a little warmth through him. Axel. In his tent. All night every night for who knew how long. Oooooh! Who knew what could happen? _Well, _Roxas considered as they made a right, Axel tripping over himself to follow him, _I wouldn't want too much to happen too soon._ That wouldn't do at all. No, no, no, they have to be in love.

Love. The idea made him quake with excitement. Love. He and Axel. Love. Roxas giggled, the girlish action okay in the dark night with no one around to remember that he did such a thing. His tent was just up ahead. He readjusted his grip on Axel, preparing to have to toss the redhead in and drag him into a comfortable sleeping arrangement.

To his surprise, Axel lunged away from him, taking heavy drunken steps toward the yellow tent. He served, swayed, all most fell down but eventually he came to its front and god, Roxas couldn't help but laugh as he did this, Axel crawled, on all fours, like an animal, into the tent. The blond couldn't believe it. It made him kinda happy in a strange way that Axel was so eager. Roxas lifted the flaps of the tent and sighed his contentment with the moment. Axel was lying all across his blankets, haphazardly draped on the pillows. It looked like he just passed out as soon as his feet made it in.

Roxas shook his blond locks and sighed. Axel was everywhere. Where was he supposed to sleep? There was a little space to the left of him, but Roxas would really have to curl up to fit. He clicked his tongue. Excuse me? Why was he the one to have to move in order to accommodate his guest? It was his tent! He huffed and ducked in, softly walking on the orange and red pillows and blankets. He loomed over Axel for a second, just admiring him before dropping down to sit on his calves.

Axel… Well, he was just…it. He was it. IT it. He might be weird, he might be different, and he might be bi-polar for all Roxas knew but he was IT. Roxas pushed away a strand of bright red hair from his pale, perfect, blemish free face. He sank onto all fours, putting his face close to the redhead's and slowly, slowly, sloooooowly, he leaned in and placed a tiny, little, itty-bitty, speck of a kiss on his temple and drew back fast.

Roxas blew out and sucked in a few shakily breaths, grinning like crazy, his heart kicking fast. Axel didn't move or twitch or anything. Roxas laughed a breathy 'Thank god he wasn't awake' laugh and pushed the redhead with all his might over to make room for him. Axel snorted once but didn't wake during his relocation. Roxas settled under the blanket, loving the warmth it gave him, left over from Axel's body heat. He peeked over at him, the man softly snoring without any protection from the cold. The blond frowned and sat up, locating a deep crimson blanket that was tossed aside sometime lately. It almost matched his hair. He placed it over Axel's sleeping form. Hmmm, almost but not quite the same color. Roxas shrugged the unimportant thought away and adjusted himself again into the most comfortable position.

He faced Axel and memorized the contours of his jaw, cheekbones, hairline and nose and before sleep took over, he was confidant that he knew it better anyone else.

----

"Twilight City to London, Twilight City to London, you plane is now boarding at Gate B6. Twilight City to London your plane is now boarding."

Mikhail got in line, excitement making his fifty-some year old heart beat fast. He handed his ticket to the pretty young lady and entered the terminal. This was it, this was really it. _Axel, forgive me, _he wished, _I could not spend another night watching my wife lay still while I was in misery_. He got a window seat, feeling like a little child. Twilight to London would be a long flight, with many layovers, but he was prepared, he was ready, and he was eager for this adventure to begin.

Minutes later the plane took of into the sky, leaving only two people who knew Axel's face better than their own. One was comatose and the other was sleeping beside said man, utterly and hopelessly in love.

* * *

IMEANT TO GET THIS UP EARLIER BUT MY SISTER CAME AND WE TALKED AND WE PLAYED LIFE. IT'S FUN. BUT SERIOUSLY HARD. i had twins.

Anyways here is this lovely chapter. On time. I'm proud. Roxas is so cute. I'm so excited for that new 358/2 days game! gonna be out in US in like september! ohmygawd~ i can't wait for the axel/roxas goodness. ANYWAYS yeah, like a quarter done? maybe? idunno. But i think i'm finally gettin this thing movin' along. about time, right? on the flip side it's like twelve and i've made you dudes and dudettes(mostly if not all dudettes) wait long eneough so i'm gonna stop talkin' and post it.

night, night. OH, Could you review? I love it when people review. :] OH, btw, i know prolly everyone has read it by now but if you by chance haven't and like axel/roxas and good music, go read skinnedkneedmisfit's Ballad. its so amazing. Its a freakin' _book_. I loved it from start to finish.


	6. Chapter 6

HAPPY READING, DUDETTES....and dudes too, I guess.

* * *

Cult

Axel woke up fitfully, the way one does when you know you should start waking up but really, really don't want to. He was warm and comfortable and was having pleasant dreams; he didn't want to wake up. But the agent's internal clock was nagging at him, instantly babbling into his ear, trying to bring him back to reality.

"Brother! What are you doing here?"

"Just coming to check on my little brother and his little brother. Gosh, I feel like I'm a parent or something. My little Rox is aaaall grown up." A sigh. "This day couldn't have come sooner for you."

Or maybe someone else was doing the work for it.

Axel sluggishly smacked his lips, experimentally clenching his fingers. Waking seemed to be coming closer and closer, becoming a more possible reality as moments passed. But he was tired; he had all those reasons why he wanted to stay asleep, whatever happened to them? Warm, comfortable, nice dreams, there; he had three of them! So why didn't the sand man see this and take pity on him, sprinkling more dust onto his sleepy eyes?

"Oh! Oh, oh, oh! I think he's waking up! Ah, look at him. He's so tall! Roxas, you didn't tell me he was so tall!"

"I didn't even see you yesterday… Be quiet… _you_ probably woke him up."

But indeed, the giver of sleep was cruel and unfair. Axel was becoming more and more aware as the seconds dragged on. A fresh, earthy scent was all around him, followed by the musky sent of old sheets, something he was familiar with given the state of his own bedroom.

And ahh! His head, his head. It throbbed when he moved… what happened to him? And then he remembered. Augh… last night. If it wouldn't make his head ache, he would have groaned at the memories.

He drank.

He felt sick with himself.

He curled in on himself, cursing inwardly. What would his Mom think? Axel swore off the drink, didn't he? He refused to swallow even a sip, no matter how much he was teased or egged on about it by friends or co-workers. And he did so in memory of his Mom. How could a son gladly accept the drink that almost killed his mother? And yet he did… and now he was paying for it.

Axel gently massaged his temple, throbbing in tune with his heart as it pumped blood throughout his body.

"Axel?" Someone said. "Are you awake?"

Axel tensed, his ingrained instincts finally kicking in, hangover be damned. With his eyes still closed he did the best he could to get his bearings. Under him, he could feel it, soft blankets over dry dirt. He remembered putting his belongings in Roxas's tent; he probably slept in the teen's tent. A pull in the linen told the agent that he had a guest and by the voices he heard before there were two of them.

No reason to worry, he told himself. Even if the members were particularly violent, which Axel didn't think they were, he could take them.

A brief moment of panic shivered through him. What if, from mere curiosity, Roxas went through his kept clothing and found his wires?

Again, no reason to worry. If someone found the electrical equipment, he wouldn't be waking up leisurely like this. Surely if someone found those items he would be shaken awake and interrogated for his strange possessions, wouldn't he?

No. He was fine. And his cover was intact and hadn't been compromised by last night's drinking episode. Not again, Axel promised himself. Never again.

He peeked one eye open, digging in the other one with his palm. A lazy smile formed as he spotted Roxas, looming close. "Haaaaay… there," he mumbled and stretched, rolling his shoulders and cracking his toes.

Roxas gave him a small, distracted smile. There was a patch of skin on Axel's hipbone that was revealed when he sat up. "Hey, there." While Axel sluggishly massaged life into his face, the blond motioned to the other person in the room, whose loud voice pushed him back into reality. The agent's mind was specially crafted to remember details in the face, something he used on every mission and in every day life. But the unusual appearance of Roxas's friend and fellow cult member, for some reason, shocked Axel.

Once upon a time the young man's hair could've been spiked towards the sky maybe even dyed red or black or green but now the strip of hair lay flat on his head, brushed backwards neatly, sides shaven but growing out. Whereas the Mohawk look he probably wore with pride would have been covered in hard gel, the blond hair looked soft and smooth. The punks that Axel knew of wore metal in their faces, tattoos covering their skin, and a sneer permanently gracing their lips. Granted these punks he knew of were also known felons…

But it was still a culture shock to him, to see the blinding grin the man wore, the cheerful glint in his eyes. The man whipped out his hand. "Hi, I'm Demyx," he said. "And you're, like, my grandchild."

Axel blinked. Roxas's mouth fell open as he turned to the other blond, horror-stricken. "What? I cannot believe you said that, Dem. I cannot." Roxas shook his head and sent Axel an apology in his smile. "I'm sorry, Axel. This idiot--" "Hey!" Interrupted Demyx, pouting. "-- is Demyx, my, and yours too, big brother. Although…" Roxas scratched his head. "…its kind've different. I'll explain it to you later," he assured and flicked his hand around, dismissing the train of thought before he brightened. "How did you sleep?"

Axel blinked a few more times and yawned theatrically, squinting not theatrically. The position of the sun made the yellow cloth tent glow, too bright for him and his early morning hangover. "Mmmm," he muttered and nodded. Roxas shook his head and lowered his voice a bit more, which Axel appreciated greatly.

"Bad headache?"

"I would say," guffawed Demyx, rolling his eyes. "He must be hung-over like…whoa!"

"Demyx," Roxas snapped. "Be quiet. You're making it worse."

Axel frowned deeply. Well damn. Kid obviously wore the pants in this relationship. "Ugh…yeah." A sloppy grin, a casual shrug, and he scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "I'm sorry about last night. I, uh, don't really remember what happened."

"Oooh," Demyx drawled out. "Nothing out of the ordinary. Every time our family grows, this happens. Break out the wine and everyone breaks their sobriety pledge." He blinked and jumped as the words came out. He rushed to explain. "That is, I mean, well… No, that's not really true...um; some people don't take a sip at all! I don't really like to partake and Roxas doesn't and let's see," he ran a hand through the strip of soft hair, drawing it back. "Penelo! She hasn't had a drink in ages!"

"_Penelo is pregnant!" _Roxas exclaimed. "_Of course _she hasn't." Demyx sighed and opened what Axel was beginning to see was his big mouth but Roxas jumped back in before he could make the situation any weirder. "What he means is," said Roxas in a calm, soft and pleasant voice that Axel agreed with. "Is that when we receive more brothers and sisters, we have a feast like we did last night. And we, but not everyone, you have a choice whether to or not to, partake in drinking. Just that one time a month," Roxas assured. "The Wise Man deemed it was okay for merrymaking, since you know, it really is like a celebration. And some people," Roxas shrugged. "Well, some people partake a little more than they should have."

"Oh," Axel nodded. Perfectly good explanation. Even Demyx was nodding along, even though Roxas had all but told him to shut his mouth indefinitely.

"So, how are you feeling?" Roxas pressed again. "Feel like you're gonna be sick?"

"Augh, no. Not right now anyway. Maybe later but not right now. Just have a bad headache is all."

"Do you want some breakfast? It's more lunch time but I can get something for you," the blond stated quickly.

The agent's red eyebrows flew up. Breakfast? Now that it was mentioned, Axel was starving. "Yes. Please." Was that a hint of pleading in his tone? Perfectly acceptable, he thought. After all he had been living on the streets, when was the last time he had breakfast that wasn't rotten? For Axel the FBI agent it was yesterday but that wasn't who he was being right now so he tossed the thought away and nodded slowly as to not disturb his monster of a headache.

"Okay! I'll, uh, be right back. Do you like pancakes?"

"I _love_ pancakes."

Roxas smiled at him, that secret smile that rose to his lips slowly before spreading like wild fire. "Okay. Demyx, behave yourself," Roxas called before he left his tent, his home, leaving Axel alone with the loud, slightly obnoxious, ex-punk. Uh oh, Axel failed to see this outcome. Demyx was sure to awaken the beast that just settled inside Axel's recovering brain.

But instead of blabbing as soon as soon as Roxas disappeared Demyx locked Axel's eyes with his, which were suddenly serious, deep, cautious. "You are very, very lucky. I hope you know that."

Axel started, taken back. "Uh…"

"Roxas," the man continued. "Is one of the most sincere people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. You are so lucky that Roxas picked you. You have no idea what luck you just so happened to stumble upon. Roxas will take care of you, he will hold you up, be your crutch, every step of the way and he will never, ever give up on you."

"Uh…thanks?"

Demyx narrowed his eyes, straightening his back and actually became intimidating to the redhead. "If you ever, and I mean even just the tiniest bit, hurt Roxas, I will tear you a new one. And so will everyone else here. We all love Roxas, he is our little brother and we will do everything and anything to keep him safe. So if you're not serious, if you jerk him around, if you for one second are not honest and faithful," and here he leaned in and Axel leaned back. "I will not rest until you are the one hurting and that's a fact."

Axel's eyes widened but _no way, he couldn't know. _There would be no reason for him to think Axel was an agent of the government. Demyx just thought he might be a trouble maker is all and that's all he thinks because, no way, Axel hadn't slipped up, not enough for anyone to be suspicious. So he said, "This place, being here, is what I've wished for. I'm not going to throw away this chance." He pushed himself forward, regaining the space he lost when Demyx pushed. "I am not going to cause anyone trouble. The last person I want to cause trouble for is Roxas. He gave me this chance, one many people can only dream for. I can start over my life, I owe Roxas mine."

More a lie than truth. But the best lies are sugar coated with honesty. He didn't want to hurt Roxas, the teen was nice and so far had been only kind to Axel, it was because of Roxas that Axel even got into the cult and for that he was thankful. To an extent.

The Mohawk-ed man regarded him calmly for a few moments before nodding shortly. "Okay, I believe you, brother. Stick to your promise and I won't have to go through with mine, caphiche?"

This ex-punk, who at first seemed like he couldn't hurt a fly, was threatening him? Axel, used to being the one threatening, the one in control, didn't like the situation at all. His agent instincts screamed at him to show this punk who was boss, who was really in power here. It would get him nowhere and slow him down further. He was close to Roxas, Axel's mentor and major, albeit unknowing, informant. Getting Roxas to keep spilling secrets was essential and the blond would be more willing if his friends liked Axel. The agent couldn't afford to make enemies. So he nodded wearily at Demyx, mixing in enough fear and respect into it as he thought needed.

Demyx eyed him for a several moments more, looking like he wanted to something else but eventually giving Axel some excuse about having an errand and left Roxas's humble abode, telling the redhead to tell Roxas he said 'I'll see ya later.' Roxas frowned deeply when Axel did his duty and told him, holding several paper plates of fluffy looking pancakes.

"Sorry about him. He's kinda…all over the place sometimes. But he's a great guy, really. He may look tough but he's a real baby, I swear."

Uh huh, suuuuure, he is. "How do you make pancakes?" He asked, one because he was curious as to how they fed everyone and two because he didn't see any electrical poles anywhere near but if they did indeed use it he needed to know how.

Roxas quirked a smile. "Well, I don't make them, that's for sure."

"You know what I mean."

Roxas, a bubbling feeling in his gut because, well, one day, just one day and Axel seemed to be assimilating perfectly already, smiled a bit wider and placed one of the paper plate in front of Axel. The redhead saw that there were no utensils. He would have to eat with his hands. "We use fire and a pan," he admitted. "Primitive, I know. But it gets the work done and we don't really need fancy stuff when what we already have works. Why fix what's not broken?"

Axel nodded, picking up the pancake and taking three large bites. "But what about the medicine? You brought that."

"Well, we _need_ that," Roxas stated absently, talking with his mouth full. He swallowed. "We are a community, a family; it wouldn't do anyone any good if someone got sick, now would it? And all the medicine was donated. Besides the absolute bare essentials that we can't produce by ourselves, we purchase nothing. We grow our own food, make our own clothes, we don't need much from the outside world."

"Except for those bare essentials," Axel muttered.

Roxas smiled. "Yep. Except for those few, bare essentials. I'm sure you have a lot of questions but can they wait? You have a long day ahead of you. We can have a Q and A afterwards, perhaps at dinnertime," he said around a mouthful.

Axel perked up at his words. "What do you mean 'long day'?"

"I mean, today is the day you officially start over," the blond said, watching Axel. "You'll find your niche, find something you can do to serve out community. Don't worry, it's easy," Roxas assured.

"Start over, huh? But what if I'm not good at anything?"

Roxas's cobalt eyes widened a fraction at his worries. Didn't he have the same worry, once upon a time? But he found his place, he didn't he? "Don't worry, Axel. We'll find something for you. I won't rest until we do," he promised. And he wouldn't. Axel, who lived out on the streets and just in general looked like he had a hard life, deserved to start over anew. Roxas would stop at nothing to make a place for him.

"…What is there? My, uh, choices?"

"Oh, lots and lots and lots. There's always something that needs to be repaired, always something to be made, grown, or even raised. You could land a job raising the animals if you get lucky. Or you could herd, you might be a good herder," Roxas mused, more to himself than to the man he was talking about. Oh, but then he would be gone a lot. Hopefully Axel held no interest for herding. From the looks of it, he didn't.

"Doing what?"

"…herding? Moving the bigger animals here to there?" Dumbly, Axel nodded, taking a large bite of his third pancake.

Well, shit, he thought. He was initially thinking forced labor but…all of these activities sounded an awful lot like general…farm life. Albeit, even more secluded, isolated, and was populated by new religion believers but they were pretty much the same. Axel chewed, thinking. Even though he did gather a lot of information in the past day, he held no incriminating evidence yet. Everyone seemed happy and everyone seemed to want to be here, no shady motives that he could see, unless you counted Demyx's protective attitude to Roxas and Axel didn't.

So he basically had nothing. But did he really expect it to be that easy? He was prepared to be gone at least a month, to get good evidence in the first day would be blind luck. He just needed to dig deeper, wait patiently. And work toward finding whatever dirty little secret Roxas's home kept under the rug.

Later, after Roxas disposed of the plates somewhere and dragged Axel out of the tent, even though the redhead complained of the sun making his head hurt worse, the blond cult member remarked, "Today I set you up with Penelo. She's twelve months pregnant but if anyone could teach you how to weave it would be her. Since Leon is busy today and tomorrow we'll just mess around with fun stuff until he's not so busy."

"Leon?" Axel tucked away the name. Yet another for the team to look up. At the rate Roxas kept dropping names, they would have quite time following up with background checks. But Axel had the most important name already. Ansem Wise. The ringleader of the cult, the mastermind behind all this, the prophet.

Roxas nodded slowly. "Yeah. Leon's a good guy, you'll probably like him. But then again, ever since Cloud left…Well, he hasn't been in the best of moods."

Axel almost tripped over his own feet.

"Left?" He finally choked out, regaining his composure after his blond mentor sent him a worried look.

"Are you okay? Do you want to wait until your headache goes away? We can do this some other time," he worried, chewing on his lower lip. Maybe Axel wasn't feeling so good… Was he rushing this? Maybe he should take it at a slower pace.

"No, nonononononono," the redhead said fast, waving a hand around. "I'm fine, really. I feel great," minus the slight splitting in his head, but besides that he was dandy. "I just…lost my balance is all. But, uh, what did you say? That guy _left_?"

Roxas chewed on his lip a bit more, looking at Axel worriedly. "…Well, yeah. I mean, not because he didn't want to be here, it was just…" Roxas sighed. "Cloud felt it was time. I, uh, I didn't really know him too well, his was more Aerith's friend than mine but he spent a few years here and then he felt he was ready to go back out and make a difference. He stops by every once in awhile. This…this isn't a…You can leave…if you want, I mean, if you think you're ready…eventually," he muttered, looking away.

You could leave? Axel chewed on the information, devouring it fast and digesting it even faster. You could leave, which meant that Sunshine fields wasn't like a concentration camp, you weren't being held here against your will. If this Cloud person, yet another name to run through TRON, really was able to leave on his own then it changed the whole perspective on what Sunshine Fields and its Sun Children were.

If you could leave and comeback and leave again, then this place was more like a…like a monastery of sorts. They get more nuns, people off the streets, convert them, and they either stay here doing nun-like things or they go out and spread the word, living with their new set of morals and principals.

If that was the case, then everything just up and flipped upside down on him.

The agent felt a tug on his long sleeve. Roxas was closer to him, hardly a foot away and staring intently at him. "But, but Axel," he tried, unsure. "It's…it's not that simple. I mean, it takes awhile. And, and you, and you don't have to leave. It's only optional," Roxas nodded his head, seconding his words as he looked straight into Axel's eyes. He found himself nodding along with Roxas. "You don't have to leave unless you really, _really_, want to. And, and if you do…want to leave someday…well, we'll talk about it when that day comes. Okay?" Roxas tried a smile, but it was a cheap imitation.

Axel didn't notice, too caught up in the information to catalogue this new look. He nodded shortly.

Everything was upside down but when Roxas took hold of his wrist, eventually sliding down to grip his hand, the blond became right side up with him, offering an encouraging smile. Axel composed himself, reminding himself where he was and what he was here to do. Roxas smiled harder.

"You trust me, right?"

Did he? He had no reason not too. Roxas didn't appear to have any ulterior motives. Really, the question was; did Roxas trust Axel? And how much? "Of course," he said softly, trying to put sincerity behind his eyes. Only half a lie. But it seemed to reassure the blond whose smiles faded as he softly laughed.

"Yes, yes, of course…" Roxas squeezed Axel's hand, momentarily making the agent uncomfortable, and guided him through the colorful tents and away from the colorful clothed people who smiled gaily when they passed. Axel concentrated on where they went, which turns they took, which they didn't, trying to familiarize himself with his surroundings, but Axel didn't think it would do much for him. It would take weeks to be able to navigate the village.

Meanwhile, Roxas kept running a well-loved phrase again and again in his mind. The Wise Man's words kept him company during long sleepless nights and protected him from his fears. Too many nights he spent wide awake, too afraid to even blink for longer than necessary. He let out a held breath and repeated Axel's own words. Axel trusted him. _Axel_ trusted him. Axel _trusted_ him. Axel trusted _him_. Of course, Axel trusted him.

_Of course. _

---

Contrary to what Axel liked to believe, his team wasn't sitting around, running their hard won names through Tracy and waiting for him to check in. In fact when Axel checked in the team was pushing, or rather gently encouraging, a handcuffed Daniel Xaldin into the interrogation room. Kairi, wearing her receiver diligently for just in case, nearly jumped out of her skin when Axel's voice greeted her.

'_Checking one, two, ten. Can ya hear me now?'_

Kairi gasped, the action drawing startled looks from her two team members and the convict in front of her. "Axel!"

'_That's meeee.' _Axel laughed. _'Now let's get down to business. What're you wearin'?'_

"Corset and high heels of course, your favorite." Kairi rolled her eyes. Adams gave her a sideways look before shoving Xaldin into the room.

"Get in there! I'd make myself comfy if I were you, ya see, you're gonna be here quite the while, bub." He gave the man a vicious grin, all teeth and threatening glint in his eyes. Xaldin looked a bit more worried than he was before. Adams slammed the door closed, effectively isolating the man from the world. "Tell Axel to keep his panties on. We'll put him on the speakers."

"Axel, hold on a second. We're gonna put you on the speakers so everyone can hear you, okay?"

'_Yeah, yeah. Fine, do it quick. Don't know how long I have.'_

They walked fast to their assigned workspace, excitement over Xaldin's arrest becoming excitement over whatever Axel had to say, what information he managed to squeeze in the three days. Kairi plugged in the device, pressed the necessary buttons and _voila!_

"Okay, Axel," she said loudly. "I think we're good. Whaddaya got for us? What'd you learn?"

'Why yes, Kairi. I'm fine. Thank you for asking,' Axel sniffed. 'Good to know my well-being has been on your mind.'

Kairi flushed. His well-being had been on her mind, but if he wasn't okay then wouldn't he call in sooner? Or immediately mention it? She thought it was just obvious, but a prickling fear was at the back of her mind and she mentally beat herself up for not asking. "Sorry. How are you?"

"Are you being fed?" Zexion piped.

"Have you found anything out that's useful?" Adams asked, a tad grumpy his interrogation had been interrupted even before it could begin.

'I'm dandy. I am being fed, three times a day, might I add. And yes I have found something out.'

All eyes went to the speaker. "What is it? What'd you find?"

'Well, first. Let me tell you what I didn't find. I haven't seen anything that proves Murkey's talk of abuse. Of any kind.'

"Really?" Zexion asked. "None at all?"

'Nothing. If anything people are being taken care of better than they are in Twilight, no offense. Everyone's being fed; everyone's has shelter, clean water, clothes, a shower. They even have medical supplies.'

"Medical supplies?"

'Yes. They brought it on the day we went undercover. Apparently it's donated from a clinic called Open Hearts? Ever heard of it?'

Adams frowned. "I thought it sounded familiar but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. You sure?"

'_Positive. From Twilight too. Look it up. While you're at it I have a few names for you to look for; Ansem Wise, he's the mastermind of the cult, people call him the Wise One. They think he's a prophet of god or something. And, uh, Roxas. He's the kid that picked me up, the blond guy? He's Roxas, no last name that I know of.'_

"Roxas, got it," Zexion supplied, scribbling down the name.

'_Um, the woman that was recruited with me is named Larxene. There's a woman named Penelo, a man named Demyx, a man named Leon and oh, Cloud. Get this; you can leave. That Cloud guy? He left. And he comes back. It's like a getaway trip. Give us your tired and pissed off, we'll shine 'em up, get them smiling again and ship 'em back. Crazy, huh?'_

"What do you mean? You can come and go as you please? I've never heard of that before," Adams barked.

'Yeah, but that's their thing. You can leave when you want, but honestly? I don't think a lot do.'

"C'mon Axel," Kairi sighed. "Don't beat around the bush. What do you mean?"

'_It's really like a…a vacation. No rush, no worries, you're fed and clothed, and really taken care of. Most if these people don't want to go back to the city, back to rushing and working and fending for yourself. Barely anyone leaves.'_

"Is there any conceivable danger? Anything that's not safe? You said they get medicine, do they do surgery? Amputations of any sort? Human experiments?"

'_What! No! No…Not that I know of. I dunno, they might. But I don't think so. They have actual nurses, people who used to nurses anyway. So they have trained professionals. Also, worthy to note; they do allow pregnancies. I met a girl whose nine months pregnant. There are a few more--'_

"So there could be sexual abuse," Kairi stated. "Our master mind, Ansem, could've impregnated her. Could've impregnated all of them. How old are they? Do you know who the fathers are?"

'…_No… But I don't think that guy would do that, I mean…I'm not sure. I'm not privy to that information and I can't ask or it'll be suspicious.'_

"Alright. How are you fitting in?" Adams asked. "Any slip-ups? Any worries?"

'…_No. I've been careful. Been sticking to my story. Everyone has bought it so far. No trouble with any of the other… cult members. '_

"Good," Adams nodded. "Anything else important?"

'_Uhhh, they have running water? No electricity. Oh! Everyone has a job, like, um, making clothes or pottery or taking care of the animals.'_

"Animals?"

'_Yeah, they have a farm. Cows, chickens, the whole shabam. They also have fields and gardens. They grow all of their own food--'_

"You're living on a farm?" Zexion interrupted, a confused look on his face. "Fields? How big is this place?"

'_Big. I would guess there's about two hundred people here.'_

"Two hundred!"

'_Yeah. I also found they recruit in Traverse too, not just Twilight. You might want to search for the names in Traverse too. Probably just play it safe and search the country.'_

"Will do. Anything else?"

'…_No, I don't think so. Drop some flowers at my mom's wouldja? Tell my Dad I said hi. That's all I got for now. I'll know more by next week. And even more by the week after that. I really don't think there's a need to stay too long. I don't see anything bad going on. The people may be a little religious about their new faith, but it's nothing worse than what you would see if you stepped into a church.'_

"Noted. If that's it Axel," Adams said. "Then we'll let you go. It's near midnight, get some sleep. Next time check in earlier."

'_I can't, this was the first time today I was alone. Every second of the day someone is with me or in ear shot. I'll have to check in at night.'_

"Hmmm. Fine. Well, pay attention. Stay on your toes, O'Hara."

"Don't get brainwashed!" Kairi chirped.

"Keep your wits about you," Zexion advised. "Don't let our guard down."

'_Yeah, yeah. I'll keep it in mind. Until next week. See ya.'_

The line went dead; Axel turned off his wire and probably went back to wherever he was sleeping. Kairi frowned; hopefully he has something over his head.

"Looks like Axel might be coming home sooner than we thought," Adams sighed. "No point in investigating something that never happened."

"We don't know that for sure," Zexion pointed out. "There might be something there. Axel may just need more time to find out what. He's only been there three days."

"That could be true," Adams admitted. "But with what Axel's saying I don't really see any point in keeping him there for months when there's nothing worth investigating. Especially if it's as 'perfect' as he says it is."

"He kind of…seems attached to it," Kairi ventured. "Like he likes it there."

"Of course he does. Axel's a natural slacker; the place was made for him."

"But do you think he'll see it that way? I've seen agents get lost in their cover, it's easier than you think."

"It's easy, sure. But Axel has things holding him here," Zexion softly said. "His mother for one, he still hopes that she'll wake up. And his father and us. It's not like Axel was upset with his life. He was an average, happy guy. He's not like the people who are in the cult, who are desperate for a new life and unhappy with the one they have."

"Even with those things keeping him here," Kairi persisted. "Even if he had a family and child on the way, sometimes being undercover and having a new life is a welcome escape form those things."

"Axel will not burn out." Adams narrowed his one visible eye at the female agent. "Axel has the strongest will I've ever seen. He won't get pulled in. He's too smart for that. Axel's no traitor, Freah."

"I wasn't saying he was! I was just thinking his fondness of the place might cloud his judgment."

"Axel always has his eye on the ball," Zexion mused. "No matter what, he always comes through. Remember Monstro? When we thought he screwed up the plan but really he just made a new, better one on the spot? Almost killed himself with that bomb but we put away three times as many people because he thought on his feet and never lost sight of the objective. Axel's married to his job. He loves what he does. He isn't a turncoat."

Kairi's lip quivered. Times like these she really wished _she _was part of the initial team, so they would listen to her better and see that yes, she did have a valid point, let's watch out for that. "Okay, I understand. I'm sorry for mentioning it…"

"Now that Axel checked in, why don't we go see our favorite arms dealer? Let's see if he's willing to play nice with us," Adams said, already standing up and walking toward the elevator. "I wonder if he'll give us the names of his other playmates. Then we can all be friends."

Kairi followed, slow and unhappy and with a frown on her face. Times like these she really wished she was in Destiny Isle again, with her initial team. They would have listened to her, they would have saw that she had a very valid and very plausible point and that they should pay extra, extra attention to the mentioned undercover agent.

After all, everyone thought Sora would be fine and look what happened. And all because of Kairi's mistake in not seeing the troubling signs. _Poor Sora, _she thought. _If only I would've saw and paid more attention. _Poor, poor Sora. And poor, poor Kairi. Because of her mistake she was moved to a whole new field office, no longer trusted by her superiors and co-workers for that stupid foolish mistake she made.

Kairi watched with a calm face as Adams and Zexion broke down Xaldin's walls and defenses, crumbling his and tearing through his barriers and going straight into his psyche.

Who could blame Sora for what happened? Everyday someone named names, gave up associates and their co-conspirators. When someone gets into you like that, tears your heart and brain open, you can't help but fold under the pressure. And they were only under the expert hands of trained interrogators for a few days at the most. Poor, poor Sora was under the psychological knife for months. And who can blame her for not seeing the signs? She had no reason not to believe Sora wasn't telling her the truth. No reason not to believe he was telling her everything. How as she to know what he didn't openly tell her? And besides, she was one of his best friends, her eyes were blinded by the fact.

But now, under a familiar scene, it was almost too easy for her to say, 'we should look out, just in case', wasn't it?

God, she hoped it didn't turn out like last time.

_Maybe in the morning, _she thought, _after I got some sleep, maybe I'll call up Sora and ask for his thoughts. Maybe he won't be too upset to talk about it. It's been a year, hasn't it? Maybe the pain was a little less now. _

_In the morning_, she decided. _In the morning I will call him and check up. _

---

After Axel switched off his wire, he stared up at stars for awhile, wondering how the hell he ended up here. But he knew why, of course. James Bond. Curse that rugged, smooth talking English man that began all this.

Axel sighed, standing up and stretching his back, groaning. He had a tough day. Turns out the repair thing wasn't for him, too much heavy lifting. Axel looked strong, but he wasn't a pack mule, dammit. Cut him some slack. The weaving didn't go well and it turns out he was allergic to some of the animals on the farm and that Axel didn't know a weed from a blooming flower. Augh, when Aerith got mad, she got mad. So for the past two days ended in disappointment and food. And then sleep.

The agent traced back the route he took to get to the clearing, where no one would be able to overhear him, back to Roxas's tent. The blond said that he would get his own but the day before yesterday they didn't remember until it got dark so Roxas said they would do it tomorrow and then tomorrow came and still Axel had no tent.

It wasn't that he particularly minded, but Roxas was being so kind already Axel didn't want to freeload and overstay his welcome.

Even though Axel showed no talent for anything, Roxas didn't give up. Even thought he kept getting lost when Roxas left his side, Roxas would always come find him, even though Axel was using Roxas as a means to an end the unaware boy gave Axel anything he wanted and then some.

Even though he had only been in the boy's company for three days he felt the need to return the favor, like helping out with Roxas's garden duties in the extreme early morning. He'd only done it once so far but the blond had been very grateful for his help, making Axel's guilt spike.

He took this path from Roxas's tent to the clearing several times and it was the only one he knew by heart so far. Secretly, he suspected Roxas of taking a new path every time they went out, just to confuse him. After taking another right turn he was only a few feet to Roxas's yellow tent, where the blond was sleeping soundly, sure to wake up with the sun in about six hours. As he pulled away the yellow cloth a sliver of moonlight illuminated Roxas's face, showing off the fact that he had a bit of drool coming out if his open mouth and his hair looked like a birds nest.

Softly he laughed, trying not to disturb the slumbering boy. Idly, he wonder how old Roxas was, if he really was as young as Axel thought him to be or if he was younger or older and if so how much older or younger? Were they actually closer in age despite appearances? Maybe they had more in common than just a love for pancakes and mutual dislike for drinking.

Quietly he entered. Even in sleep Roxas was courteous to Axel, giving him plenty of room and most of the blankets. As he lifted one of the sheets, Roxas stirred, grumbling as Axel apparently lifted on the blankets that covered the slumbering boy. He slowly opened one bright blue eye to look at Axel, just staring as the redhead lowered the sheet and picked up a new one, covering himself up with it.

"Mmm. Where'd you go? You didn' take a leak in my flowers d'you?" Roxas was speaking of his beloved little patch of unnamable flowers that grew just outside of his tent.

Axel grinned at him. "No, course not. I would never," he said, mostly because he knew Roxas wouldn't remember in the morning and also because no, he would never take a piss in Roxas's flowers, never, ever.

Roxas blink the one open eye and after a moment he seemed to catch up and nodded, using his new half-consciousness to pull up his blankets and wrapping them around himself, making a little cocoon, his face and blond hair the only things visible. He turned over to face Axel. "Noight," he whispered in a yawn.

Axel smirked a little at the sight of him, already asleep again. "Good night, Roxas. See you in the morning…Little buddy."

* * *

I think this chapter is quite boring. I wrote half of it last night. im gonna do the next chapter of cult next, just cause i'm in the mood for it and then my fics will have equal chapters. but i'm so psyched to do the next chapter of SB, it gonna be sooo awesome. :] i wish it was still summer. i miss writing all day and updating so often. sigh.

gimme reviews so i know you guys aren't dead from boredom after reading this. seriously.


	7. Chapter 7

Happy, happy, happiest reading, readers!

* * *

Cult

Roxas liked the way the sunlight hit Axel's face.

He liked the way the sun simultaneously highlighted and darkened ideal spots on his face, the way he bit off way more than he could chew, _how_ he chewed; that thoughtful slow grind, the way he tapped his fingers absently when things got quiet during the day, how his shoulders were wide and looked really strong.

Roxas could look at his hair; which in the right light looked like it was _burning_, for hours, could gaze at his thin fingers and wider knuckles, at his neck; smooth and thick with tough muscle, Roxas could trace the features of Axel's face for hours on end and never bore of it.

Was this…love?

It was wasn't it?

The fluttering feeling of butterflies all the time, the shortness of breath, extreme sensitivity to even the slightest brush of skin, his wandering mind and shy glances perpetually finding the tall man; weren't these all symptoms from falling in love? Or were they causes?

Axel glanced up at him, nervous and maybe self-conscious, from his given spot inside the pottery tent. His hands were covered in wet clay, busily constructing some sort of…something while Roxas watched intently.

Roxas was beginning to worry that Axel was terrible at everything. He couldn't sew for the life of him, and the weaving patterns had all been to complex for him, even _Roxas_ could do a few of them but somehow they just flew straight over Axel's head. He killed a small portion of Aerith's prized garden, pulling out brightly colored flowers instead of the weeds and thus damning him from having anything to do with the garden. Roxas had to plead with the brunette woman for Axel to even _water_ the plants. How do you mistake carnations for weeds? Roxas couldn't quite wrap his head around it.

Leon refused to take the man for reasons Roxas didn't want to know and Axel had started sneezing profusely and coughing like something was stuck in this throat after just a few minutes with the animals. How do you not know that you're allergic to animals?

After every mishap, Axel gave him that same look. Glancing over every few seconds, an embarrassed grimace on his face as Roxas was told why exactly Axel would not be able to weave, garden, repair stuff, or raise the livestock or dye fabrics, or cook food, or even cut out patterns for the weavers to use. Every time when Roxas would look over, jaw dropped and blinking wildly, to confirm with the man that it was true, Axel would just look away, ashamed and confused himself, offering just a rise of eyebrows and a shrug for explanation.

So this time Roxas was coming along, so that maybe he could coax the redhead into _not_ screwing up.

"Do you think I'm doing it right?" Axel whispered, worried crease in his brow. "I have no idea what she was telling me to do."

Oh… well. "I don't know," Roxas whispered, now growing worried. He was too busy listing the things he liked about the redhead that he forgot to listen when sister Tifa gave him an assignment.

They both glanced over in her direction. Even in her baggy dark earthy green tunic, they could see how strong her arms were, how her hands _forced_ the wet earth to do her will.

Axel gulped. "Uhh, Rox--" To Roxas's delight Axel had started using the nickname Demyx had given him. "--what should I do?"

"Uhh, uhhh." Quick, quick! Think of something! Don't just sit there like a bumbling idiot while Axel may be yet again be ruining his one chance! "Uh, just--Just do your best?" …yeah, that was… okay-ish. "As long as you make something and at least try, she can't be mad at you," he whispered quickly. "Uh. I dunno; just keep doing what you're doing."

He was such a bad mentor.

Even though his advice was as vague as possible, Axel nodded, turning to give sister Tifa one more worried glance before returning o his pile of clay, molding it into something more recognizable.

He had really long hands. Almost spidery fingers, Roxas noticed. Even while covered in the gray clay, he could still see the veins that popped up, thick and carrying blood to and fro. They ran up his arm, disappearing under the sleeves Axel had rolled up. He was kinda tan, tanner than Roxas could ever be. He just burned and then faded into pale.

"Oh, Brother Axel!" Sister Tifa exclaimed from her spot behind the blond. "I just love what you're doing. You're good."

Roxas was shocked, Axel pleasantly surprised. "Really?

"Yes! You have natural talent in those hands of yours, bucko," she enthused and motioned to his creation. "May I?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course!"

"Yup, a natural…" she turned what looked to Roxas was a bowl of some kind in her hand, murmuring to herself. "Yeah, I like what you're doing. Real artistic quality..."

Beside her Axel felt a flush come to his face at her words. Artistic talent? Him? No way! But she kept saying the same thing over, telling him that he must, he must, _he must _work with her. Throughout the entire week all he'd been hearing was no, no, no from people, saying no he absolutely would not, would never, be able to work with them so this was a quite the pleasant change of pace.

Across from him, Roxas beamed, pleased with the outcome. Now Axel had something to do for the community. He might as well be officially sworn in. A thought occurred to him, making the already wide smile intensify. He will be an official member starting today.

"I'll see you tomorrow, brother!" Tifa called as they left the pottery tent at Roxas's insistence.

"Bright and early?" Axel called back.

She laughed, eyes scrunching up. "Bright and early."

"Do you think I can still help you out in the morning then?" He asked Roxas, who was smiling that secret smile again.

"Of course…I don't see why not," Roxas shrugged, sending him a sideways glance. "As long as you want to you're welcome. Do you still want to?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I do," he replied and Roxas's smile turned even more upwards but Axel didn't really take note of it, Roxas always smiled. He was just a happy guy, had a happy life, had no reason to frown. He was just happy.

"Guess what we're doing today," Roxas slyly commanded.

The redheaded agent racked his mind, coming up with nothing fast. Everyday was similar to the last, a simple plan of wake up, help Roxas in the garden before going off to various places, mostly to visit Roxas's friends or to work places, and then to the clearing, where some of the younger members would play tag before supper. Such a simple life and Axel just followed Roxas's example most days and what Roxas didn't tell him, he didn't know. "What?"

Cobalt blue eyes twinkled. "Today the Wise Man is going to speak. It'll be your first time seeing him in action. You don't know real enthusiasm about the God above until you listen to the Wise Man speak. You'll finally get a good understanding and maybe get some answers to whatever questions you still have." His eyes and face held so much passion as he said this, truly excited by the prospect.

Agent Axel O'Hara narrowed his eyes the tiniest, smallest bit, unnoticeable to the blond, sudden hostility coming over him. The Wise Man, the prime suspect for the crimes alleged against the cult he infiltrated. He would be speaking? Like, preaching to them? What would he say? How would he act thinking he was among only admirers and followers? While thinking these sharp thoughts, he responded eagerly to the blond. "Really? Wow. That's… that's great! How many times does he speak, I don't think he has while I've been here."

The blond shook he head softly. "He hasn't. Only once a week, on Sunday. Last week when we went searching we had an early morning service instead, so it wouldn't be too much for you," Roxas explained. "But now that you've spent nearly week here, it's time to sit in on one of his speeches."

So that was it then… Giving service on Sunday like a priest or pastor. _The Wise Man, aka, Ansem must really think he's the shit, _Axel thought while following Roxas to wherever the blond was leading him. He'd only gotten little snippets of the new religion than ran rampant here, mostly from Roxas given the fact that Axel spent almost every single waking moment with the boy, but also from Aerith who gave little memorized quotes whenever one applied to a certain situation.

Everyone seemed to live by a common understanding that they all believed the same so no one really approached him trying to explain the cult's version of a bible and what it wanted him to do and how it wanted him to live his life.

"The evening bell should be rung soon, and then everyone will go to the clearing to listen," Roxas's voice shook the redhead out of his thoughts. Sure enough, the gong was hit, followed by several others, signaling that everyone should stop working and come back home for some relaxation and weekly brainwashing. While Roxas's back was to him, Axel scowled.

"So what are we doing now?"

Roxas looked at him surprised. "Oh, uh. We're going to meet up with Aerith and then find our newest brother and sisters. It's tradition," he shrugged.

The redhead absently made a noise to signal that he heard and followed without another question.

--

"Good evening, my sons and daughters," Ansem jovially called. Cheers and welcomes and hellos were called back to him, all from the two hundred some people gathered around.

Axel was among these two hundred, watching with less than happy eyes that flickered from the smiling brainwashed cult members back to the man in charge. He really was like a ringleader of a circus and these people were his audience, eagerly awaiting whatever trick he had up his sleeve next.

Axel too was waiting for these tricks, with a prepared eye to dissect and tear them apart.

"We have new sisters and brothers among us, I believe today will be their first service among us, as new people. Please, welcome them. They are another addition to our family and should be treated as such."

Another round of cheers and hollers came from the crowd around him, the closer members clapping him on the back or giving him cheerful smiles. Roxas squeezed his hand, sitting next to him and watching the man in white with rapt attention. Said man was smiling slightly, affectionately amused the people's friendly behavior.

"Now, my friends, please quiet. I would like to begin." Obediently, the pastel-wearing people silenced, eagerly waiting for whatever would happen next. "As is tradition, for our new brothers and sisters I would like to tell a story. It's a familiar one to the rest of you, hearing it every month or so. I'm sure you could recite it from memory," he mused. A gaggle of snickers, chuckles and giggles came from the crowd.

"But for you new sisters and for you new brothers; please listen. Years ago, my wife and I were walking home one winter afternoon, it was a cold night and the trees already had Christmas lights on them. It was peaceful and we were peaceful, content in being. Before then I never challenged anything in my life. I took it as it was and never once thought it could be changed.

"Twilight City, the city where many of you once lived, has been ravaged by all kinds of horrible things. As poverty rose, the crime rate rose and as crime took as turn for the worse, the death toll skyrocketed. One would have to go out of one's way to ignore what the city had become.

"On the night which I mentioned, my wife became another statistic. And I as well, to an extent. They were after her purse, the silly little thing, and when she struggled, a gun appeared in his hand and then my wife was dead. Just like that." The Wise Man snapped his fingers, a solemn look on his face. They way he told his story, strangely distant but passionate at the same time, transfixed Axel. It was like being at work again, listening to a witness tell his story. It was supposed ot be a said story but the wise man just told it like it was just…a fact.

"Moments later I was also shot but instead of fleeing the sinful and greedy world, I held on to my string of life. My heart stopped twice. And during those moments I had a vision." He stayed quiet for a moment, letting the words sink in. Axel spared a second away from the speaker to glance at Roxas and saw that he was listening with patient attention, nearly on the edge of his seat.

"I those moments where I laid in the in-between, not dead, not alive, I heard voices, speaking to me, calling me forward. And in a moment, I was seated in nothingness. I was in the middle of vast nothing. Across from me was man, a woman, its form kept changing with every second I stared at it. Once it even became my wife and spoke to me. It said;

"'Do you know why you're here?' I replied, scared, 'I am dead.' The creature shook its head and said again. 'Do you know why you're here?' In its patient voice, calming, soothing. But it made me _angry_. I thought that the creature knew the answer and was yet still asking the question, for amusement." Ansem smiled, amused at his own thoughts.

"I screamed at the monster, 'No, I do not know why I am here! Please enlighten me!' It smiled softly, switching its form to different faces, different races, by the second. Again, it looked like my wife. 'I know eternity; I know the stars' names. I know why you are here but it all means nothing if you do not.' Then it posed another question, as the edges of white nothingness started to turn black and enclosed on us. The creature, with my wife's face, asked me,

"Why do you exist?"

Axel had an itch right in-between his shoulder blades but he had the sneaking feeling that Roxas would smack him if he itched at it.

"At that moment the paramedic jump started my heart and a few days later I woke up in the hospital, my wife was dead and I was alone. The creature's words haunted me. Every moment of the day, I wondered; why do I exist? Why am I here? I started to question everything I used to ignore. Everyone around me, I noticed, was out for one another. They wanted what the other had and were willing to go to the end of the earth to get it. They held no compassion toward those below them, those who were struggling, and those who had nothing.

"Why did I exist? The creature left me with such questions that I didn't even know how to begin to answer. And then," he laughed. "The answer found me. I was walking down the same street where my beloved wife was killed and across from me, there was a large graffiti sign that said simply BE HAPPY.

"And I thought; that's it! That was the answer. Why do I exist? Why was I put on this world? To be happy and to love what I have and want nothing more. Isn't that why God created us? So that we may live? As a society, we have forgotten that we were just made to live and be content. In Twilight City it is obvious that greed has over taken everything we were once taught. People suffer. People chafe under the new rules of society, under the expectations. The obligations and choices that people are forced to take. Is that what who created us wanted us to have? Wanted us to do? The lord above wanted us to just _be_, and be content with that."

A murmur of agreement ran though the crowd, Axel noticing that it had been absolutely silent until now. Roxas gave one solid nod to Ansem's words. Was he really believing this guy?

"So I left the society, to get away from everything that soiled the world and reform myself. There was no place for me anymore and I no longer wanted to fight for one. And finally I just existed, here. And I was content. But I had friend who was not. She suffered under the cruel eyes of society and just wanted to go back, back to when she had no worries, nothing preventing her from being happy.

"So I let her stay here and together we realized that we couldn't just stay apart from the world while other people suffered. We wanted to _help_ those who suffered. Because it wasn't enough to be happy ourselves, we needed to spread it. We needed to help those who were like us and suffered under everything that the world has become. Together we will go back to what we should be and stay there.

"That my new friends, our new sisters and brothers, is why you are here. You are here because in some way, you were unhappy and we could help. The god we serve; the one who spoke to me, just wants us to be happy and know why we exist. We are not here to suffer, or starve, be without shelter or be without love. That is why this place exists, as an alternative to the suffering, the pain.

"That is why we are here," he informed them, smiling softly. The crowd around him started clapping, Roxas included, and Aerith, who was next to Roxas, was also clapping demurely. Hesitantly, he also started in.

"Isn't he good?" Roxas whispered. "Don't you understand so much better now?"

In truth Axel didn't. He already knew that this place was like a getaway, and Ansem's admittedly sad story didn't tell him much more than he already knew. But Axel nodded his head fervently because that's what Roxas wanted to see. Ansem said what people wanted to hear, Axel realized. The blond man may have a good story but when it all came down to it, if you asked anyone on the streets if they wanted to leave to a fantastical place were they never had to worry about things like money, or health, or school, that person would jump on the chance. That was all Ansem was doing.

And people fell for it.

Ansem went on to say many more great things, about how it was their duty to spread this lifestyle and how they should always thank the god that put them here and strive to live the way it wanted them to live. He told stories about forgiveness, stories about greed and wrath, pain, but more so he talked about hope and love and how they all came together in the end. He was so moving, a very talented speaker, that Axel wanted to believe what he said, to forget and forgive, and just… he didn't know.

Ansem continued to talk about the meaning behind life until the sun began to set. Axel was quite sure that his butt fell asleep.

Finally, The Wise Man toned down, drawing to an end and still everyone held to their quiet, aptly listening. He even saw several people tear up, moved by his words so much. How much would a person have to suffer to gladly expect an invitation to isolation? How much do you have to go through to qualify?

The Wise Man called for prayer and, as if timed, everyone got to their knees, Roxas pulling the redhead down with him with surprising strength. "What do I do?" Axel whispered.

"Pray," the blond responded shortly.

_About what? _He wanted to ask, but could foresee an aggravated glare from Roxas so he stopped himself. Silently, he pressed his hands together as the blond did and lowered his head hesitantly.

He mentally replayed what Ansem said, about suffering, pain, and thought, _I've suffered, I've been in pain, and I don't want to be here. I know something is wrong with the world but I don't want to completely desert it. I want to do something about it, change it inside out._ Why should he stay here and do nothing while other people suffer?

He was so caught up in his own musings that he didn't hear when the people next to him silently stood, leaving him, and didn't even register that someone was closing in on him until he felt a hand on his shoulder, making the agent jump.

Ansem Wise looked down at him with kind and understanding eyes. He cupped Axel's face with his hands. "You have gone through so much," he said. "I can see it. So much suffering and so much pain… You have lost those you held dear and you still carry them inside your heart. You should not worry though; beyond the consciousness lies paradise and those that you have lost are among the others." He nodded sagely. Axel's heart skipped a beat, his eyes widened. How did he know this? "You must let go of the pain, Axel. Only then will you allow yourself to be happy. Acknowledge that you have no control over it and put it in God's hands. Worry about it no more and it will set you free."

Axel started, trying to jerk himself away but Ansem held tight. He looked into Axel's eyes. "You don't need to lie to yourself anymore. _You will be okay."_

And with that, Axel jerked out of the man's hands, pulling himself away harshly. He regarded the white haired man, fear and horror across his face. Ansem opened his mouth and Axel bolted, turning and crawling before standing upright and breaking into a sprint. He blindly ran, through the crowds of two hundred people, all dressed brightly, and smiles on their faces. He ran straight past Roxas, the young man calling out to him as he passed to no avail. The blond shared a worried look with Aerith before taking off after him.

Axel didn't know the layout of the little village. Every other large tent looked like the next, colors blurring. What the hell just happened? Wha-what?! How did--how did he? How did he know? Even the slightest bit? How did he know!? He just--_right into Axel's soul _and BAM! Sucker punch to the brain. HOW DID HE EVEN GUESS? Slowly but surly, he succumbed to a shaking mess, tears starting to blur his vision. How did he know? How did he know? He gripped the soft material of the closest tent to him, dry heaving.

What just happened? What just fucking happened?

Axel felt like he was going to puke.

The agent didn't know how long he stayed there, gripping the cloth while he tried to put his mind back together to no avail. It had gotten dark and he was cold but he didn't really give a shit. He didn't care just…how? How?

"Axel?"

He started; terrified for a second before realizing it was just Roxas, just Roxas.

"Axel! What's wrong?" The blond rushed to his side, hands gently rubbing his back and shoulders an age old comforting gesture. "Are you okay?" He murmured, as if they were in a room full of people and yet the conversation was just between the two of them.

Axel convulsed and tossed his cookies, Roxas making soothing noises and keeping his hair back. "It's okay, it's okay," he repeated. "It'll all be okay."

Tears pricked at Axel's eyes as he momentarily lost himself. Roxas petted his red hair and rubbed the knuckles of his other hand down and up Axel's back. "I don't feel so good," Axel muttered. Roxas hummed.

"I know."

"I really don't feel good."

"Do you want to go home?" Roxas meant his tent, Axel knew, even in his fuzzy state of mind. But Axel couldn't help but imagine his lonely apartment; his only company the plants and COMCAST TV. Being in Roxas's home, where people popped in everyday, happy to meet and greet was preferable right now. Axel nodded.

"Okay," Roxas softly said, light, calm, and agreeable. "Let's get you home."

Axel didn't remember the walk to Roxas's tent, only suddenly finding himself there and suddenly very cold. Jesus, when did it get this cold? His teeth chattered and he felt Goosebumps emerge all over him. In contrast, his head ached and burned.

"C'mon, big fella," Roxas urged. "Just go in and lie down, sleep it off. I'll stay right here until you fall asleep, don't worry."

He just wanted to sleep, wash it all away for a little while and forget, just forget. True to his word, Roxas stayed until Axel fell fitfully asleep. But even in his dreams, he couldn't shake it. Strange fever dreams haunted him, scaring him awake for short moments before falling right back to sleep. He never remembered them but they made his heart speed up.

During the night Axel went from being freezing to sweating to freezing to burning up while being freezing at the same time. He was hot but he had Goosebumps all over his skin. His body didn't seem to know what he wanted. This continued throughout the night, Axel shivering, sniffing, and generally being in discomfort. Roxas laid next to him the whole night, patting his hair down whenever Axel squirmed or deeply furrowed his brow, a frown on his young face whenever he was woken by the tall man's squirming. But Roxas didn't let himself get too worried. Sure, Axel was acting strange but The Wise Man had that affect on people sometimes. The blond just hoped Axel would be okay in the morning and dozed back into sleep.

However, in the morning, Axel was not back to his usual self.

By the time the sun lit up the cloth-covered tent and woke the blond, Axel was under three blankets but shivering profusely, sheen of sweat on his face. A frightened shudder ran up Roxas's spine as he felt the man forehead, feeling for a temperature like Aerith had taught him, years ago.

He was burning up.

Roxas immediately rushed to find his friend and sister.

--

"He has the flu," Aerith announced.

Roxas let out a long held breath, relief flooding him. Thank goodness, he thought. "But how did he get the flu?"

"Well…" she drawled. "Has he been near Demyx?"

The blond raised an eyebrow at her question. "Well, yeah. He came by the day before yesterday….I think. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Demyx is a magnet to all viral germs and diseases," she said with a nod. "He's sick with the flu too, has it real bad. Yuffie's taking care of him."

"Ha! Yuffie? _Really_? Augh, tell me when it's over. I can handle only one of them at a time. The both of them would kill me."

Aerith lightly laughed, shaking her head, loose locks flapping around with her. Roxas shook her awake, not even giving her time to tie her hair back, explaining the situation as they ran through the just waking village. "I try not to visit much."

Comfortable silence came over them, interrupted only by Axel's snores. "He'll be okay right?"

Aerith flapped a hand around, roller her eyes. "Oh, he'll be fine. Just plenty of rest and liquids. In a week or so he should be back to normal."

Roxas hummed, considering the new information. Axel had _just_ found his place among them and he _just_ went to his first service… _Oh well, _Roxas thought as Axel snorted in his sleep.

The day passed without much happening to Roxas, but he noticed that his garden duties were less entertaining than what he'd grown accustomed to, with Axel giving hilarious narrations of whatever came to mind. Whenever the blond went back home, Axel was soundly sleeping.

Actually staring at the man for hours became intensely boring and Roxas soon left to visit friends.

Even when the gongs were rung and people started to move to the clearing loudly, the redhead slept still, even when Roxas shook him hard, sure that he shouldn't be missing a meal, the man only blearily blinked at him a few times before stubbornly turning over. Vexed, Roxas went to dinner alone.

Finally, finally, finally by the time Roxas came back Axel was awake, sipping at cup of water the blond left out. The redhead blinked at Roxas's beaming face, slowly taking in the scene. Seeing that Axel was hardly keeping his eyes open, Roxas started the conversation himself. "Hey, Axel," he said softly. "How are you feeling? Any better?"

Axel sniffed. "I feel achy and tired... My head hurts."

Roxas pursed his lips. "Oh, yeah? Aerith said that would happen. You have the flu," he offered. "So you should stay in bed and drink lots of liquids."

Axel squinted at him, taking another sip. A moment passed between them.

"Are you hungry? You missed dinner."

Axel slowly massaged his temples. "…No. I'm not. I'm just…I'm tired. Is it okay if I go back to sleep?"

Shocked, Roxas bobbed his head rapidly, not used to the short quality of Axel's speech. Was that irritation lacing it? Not seeing Roxas's discomfort Axel just turned over, crawling under the blankets again, willing his headache to go away and fatigue to dissipate. He shivered under his clothes, Goosebumps on his heated skin. He heard Roxas shuffle about, trying to be quiet for him.

Had Axel been in less of a bad mood, or if he wasn't so out of it, he would have apologized for his standoff-ish behavior. But as it was, he was tired and his head hurt and his body just _ached _all over, and his nose was stuffed up and he couldn't breathe properly, so he didn't really bother to take too much notice to Roxas, only wishing he would quiet soon so he could go back to sleep and escape his physical nuisances.

But even in his dreams, Axel was being tortured.

Again and again, he was startled awake by terrifying flashes Lexaeus crumbling to the ground, clutching his stomach.

Fueled by his fever, the dream came in hot flashes; intense and vivid and seemed so goddamned real that he would jump out of fear and wake himself several times throughout the night. For several seconds he would pant and shiver, scorching and freezing at the same time before being lulled back into sleep to the same images, he could almost smell the rust smell of blood, hear the CRACK of the gun as the trigger was pulled and the bullet was making its way to his friend.

He saw again and again the fear Lex had in his eyes, how his eyes dilated and how he chocked on the blood that came up to his mouth. _I don't want to die, I don't want to die! Please, please, Lord, I don't want to die. _

Repeatedly, he dreamt of Lexaeus's face, filled with terror before just coming to a stop, expressionless in death. In his dreams, Axel flipped out, scared, crying, screaming, and pacing. He did this for hours, blood on his hands, and tasting fear in his throat. He dreamt the same thing the entire night and well into morning, only snapping out of it when Roxas, accidentally pouring water all over himself, screeched.

Axel started, snapping awake and flipping over fast, alert and bewildered, agent senses demanding to know what was going on in spite of his foggy state of mind. Narrowed green eyes locked with wide blue, the fast motion of what the blond thought was a soundly sleeping man startling him into a frozen state.

A long silence passed between them, Axel belatedly realizing where he was and who was next to him. Roxas held out the cup he was holding.

"Water?"

The next few days were much the same. Every time he closed his eyes he dreamt of the shot of the gun, Lexaeus leaping in the way of it and red, red blood pouring from the wound and his agonizing face became embedded in Axel's mind. Maybe it was Ansem's shocking words that got to him, digging up what he hid everyday and what he kept closest to him.

He dreamt of his mother as well.

And in every dream he dreamt of the car being hit, as if he was there with them, his mother's horrified face as her side of the car gave to the force in which the other hit it at. Detached, he heard screams, sirens, saw blood and pain but he focused on his mother's sleeping face, as he knew it from six years ago, blood trickling down her beautiful face, eyes closed, never to awaken again.

Somehow, it scared him even more than the actual crash itself. He kept… just seeing her _face_, the _blood_ and he felt such dismal horror.

He slept more than not and when he was awake, he spent the time drinking cups of water at Roxas's assistance and blowing his nose on tissues Roxas told him not to tell anyone about.

One day he woke from another fever dream, more like nightmare, to a hand moving over his scalp, coming to the end and starting all over again, moving locks of hair this way and that, creating a pleasant tingling sensation. Sleepy, Axel opened his eyes, already digging the sleep out of one of them, to Roxas. Again the boy froze, as if he'd been caught stealing a cookie and looked down at him with wide eyes, which immediately looked everywhere except at the man. "Uh…Uh, you'd, you were having a nightmare. I was, uh, I was just trying to…um…" The blond trailed off, wincing at his own words.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to the redhead, a question he'd wondered about since he'd met the boy but strangely never thought to ask before now. "How old are you?"

Roxas blinked, somewhat relieved. "Uh…Twenty. I'm twenty."

Now it was Axel's turn to blink, confused. "Twenty?" He asked, nose stuffed up with mucus as it always was these day and distorting his voice. "But…you're just a kid. You can't be."

The blond snorted, annoyed but amused. "Well, I'm pretty sure of it, Axel."

"But…You're just…you just so _tiny_. You look like a kid."

"I'm youthful," Roxas mused, not insulted in the slightest.

"But…But I could have _sworn_ you were only…only a kid, sixteen at best."

Roxas frowned, twirling a piece of bright red hair in his fingers. "No…"

While Roxas continued moving his fingers through his hair, Axel tried to think of something else to say, something else that had been on his mind and he'd never asked before. Surely, he had many, but now he couldn't think of a damn one of them.

"You know," Roxas started for him. "I was sixteen when I came here."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmhmm. You wanna hear a story?"

"Does it have a happy ending?"

Roxas smiled, looking down at the man fondly. "Yes. Yes it does. But it starts out rather sad…pretty strange." Axel hummed, telling him to go on. "Four years ago, I was sixteen…and…My parents, they didn't, well, they weren't the most open people in the world. They knew only what they knew, ya know? They didn't…accept different things. It had to be one way _or else_."

"Sounds tough," Axel murmured, eyes closed under the pleasant tingling.

"It was," he admitted. "It was really hard. I felt like I had to be what they wanted me to be. And I felt trapped within that image. Especially when I knew that I had no place in that image. I was different and I knew it. Hey, Axel?"

"Hmm?"

"What would you say if I told you that I was kicked out of my house at the age of sixteen because I didn't like girls?"

Axel's eyes snapped open, meeting Roxas's patient eyes and calm, solemn face. Axel reminded himself that Roxas had done nothing but initiate _friendship, _basically brought him into Sunshine fields in the first place and helped him fit in more. Axel relaxed again, but remained just a bit nervous with this new information. "…I would say I'm sorry." Roxas's mouth tugged upward. "They really kicked you out?"

"Yup. They told me to get out and never come back. So I ran away to Twilight City. I always loved it when we took trips there. It seemed like the place to go…" Roxas sighed. "But I was a kid. I didn't finish high school, I wasn't even in school anymore, I couldn't get a job and I didn't know anybody. I lived on the streets."

"The streets are no place for a kid," Axel softly whispered.

"…Yeah. But by then I didn't count myself a kid." The blond laughed. "I was an _adult_. I only barely kept myself fed by doing disgusting things I'm not proud of. I didn't have a home. I lived under the tram stations when it was warm and wandered around the city during the day, trying to find something to do. What I was doing, where I was, just kind of faded when I thought to myself 'Okay, I want to get to the other side of the town, how do I do that?' I probably know the city better than people who live there," he chuckled.

"…I thought you said that there was a happy ending," the redhead said, feeling guilt. Here Roxas was, who actually lived on the street, who sold himself so he could eat, while Axel told lies about the life he didn't live. And Axel hated liars. What a hypocrite he was.

"There is," Roxas promised. "It was beginning to go into winter but Twilight City winters aren't so bad. Just gets cooler during the day but man, at night it gets down to the thirties. The night was the big problem, I was fine during the day with a sweater but I was scared I would freeze to death at night. Isn't that scary? That you might go to sleep one night and not wake up? To die in your sleep? It freaked me out, really bad. I broke into places, just trying to get away from the chill. I had to run and run to escape when they found me. I always evaded them though," he said with a fond smile.

"But I spent my days as I always did, just walking around, not really seeing anymore, just _going_. I just let my feet take me wherever. I didn't care anymore. About anything." And here Roxas smiled, as if in contrast to the statement. "And then Aerith saved me."

"Aerith?"

The twenty-year-old nodded, smile growing with the memory. "Yeah. I was at a crosswalk, wishing the light would change so I could just _go_ and she grabbed my wrist just as I started walking. I got really pissed and shouted at her. It didn't faze her one bit. She just looked at me and said, 'You don't have to continue like this.' I shouted back at her, 'What do you know!?'" Roxas softly laughed, rolling his blue eyes. "And you know Aerith; she just said 'I know you're unhappy, I know you're hurt. And I want you to know that you don't have to be anymore.'"

Axel smiled a bit, seeing where things were going. "And so you came here."

"And so I came here," Roxas repeated. "And it changed my life. My parents rejected me but here everyone loved me anyway. They didn't care that I lived on the street for awhile, selling myself. They were just happy that I was here _now_. I was their 'little brother'. They became my family, a good family, the kind that looks out for each other and cares no matter what. _No matter what, _Axel. And no matter what, I'll be here for you too. I know it's only been week or so but really, Axel, I mean it."

Axel felt another stab, one he definitely deserved three times over. _Fuck, _Axel thought. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck. I'm such a piece of shit._

"I know, Roxas. Thank you." But was Axel being really honest? _This kid's been though so much, he doest need me lying to him added to the list. _"I'm really, really sorry you had to go through that."

"Yeah, but…it got me here didn't it? It was worth it."

Was it really? After the subject was dropped and Roxas was lying next to him, asleep and Axel was acutely aware that it was Wednesday, he thought about that. For people who have nothing, this place was a welcome relief, a reply to their brokenness. For people like Roxas, rejected by his own family, this place gave him everything he never had. The support, the love, the care. It was all here, waiting for someone else who needed to be patched up. Was this a crime?

Absently, Axel flicked on his wire. "Wire check, one, two. Anybody there?"

'_Zexion here. Kairi and Adams are out. You okay? You sound weird.'_

"Ahh, that. I'm sick. I have the flu. I'm actually surprised that I made it out here, I'm super dizzy now."

'_You're sick? Are you okay? Well, what are doing about it?'_

"It's the flu, Zexion," Axel deadpanned. "You can't do anything about. Just gonna wait it out."

'…_.Okay. Well, have you found anything?'_

Axel sighed, running over what Roxas just told him, Ansem's speech, what Ansem said to him. "No. No, I haven't."

'_Nothing? Nothing at all?'_

"Nope." Axel clicked his tongue. "Nothing new anyway. I'll just keep my eyes open and keep looking."

'_Sounds good, Axel. Keep care of yourself, okay? You don't sound good at all. Go get some sleep and drink lots of water.'_

"Yeah, yeah."

'_Do it…Hey, Axel. I just…I just want you know it's…boring around here-- without you.'_

"Thanks, man. It's weird not seeing you everyday," Axel said, even though he hadn't put much thought to it. It did give him a little fuzzy feeling inside though, that Zexion would admit to missing him.

'_Yeah…So, um, I went to see you're mom…dropped off some flowers for her and stuff.'_

"Oh, yeah? You run into my dad?"

'…_No. I didn't. I must have missed him.'_

"Yeah well, he pretty much stalks the place so sooner or later you'll see him. Just, uh, just tell him I'm good, okay?"

'_Yeah, I can do that.'_

"Okay, well, I'm seriously about to fall asleep here," Axel laughed. "So I'm gonna go, alright?"

'_Yeah. That's fine. Talk to you next week.'_

And with that, the line was cut off, leaving Axel alone and shivering. He hurriedly made his way back to Roxas's tent, eager to warm himself up and go back to sleep. On the way, he thought about Roxas's speech, how he was so honest to the agent, how he really believed in Axel and really thought he was going to be his new brother. Roxas just gave and gave and gave.

Said boy was snoring soundly, covered in yellow and orange blankets all the way to his head, a testament to how chilly the nights could get. It probably wasn't smart for Axel to go outside like he was.

He shook Roxas awake.

"Wha--what? What's goin' on? What's wrong?" Roxas mumbled, squinting at him, tired but worried.

"My friend died," he said before he could talk himself out of it. Maybe it was the flu, messing up his judgment.

"What?" Roxas furrowed his brow, very confused. "What are you saying?"

"My best friend died, a few years ago. He was shot. I was with him."

"Oh. Oh, Axel. Axel, I'm so sorry." Gosh, Roxas thought, eyes wide. That's…terrible. That was horrible. To lose a friend, a best friend, that would be…terrible. Roxas tried to think what would happen if Aerith or Demyx died, if they were murdered. What would he do? "I am so sorry."

"Yeah, me too. He was good guy. _He didn't deserve to die_, Roxas. He shouldn't have died," Axel croaked out, a combination of his snot clogged nose and tightening throat. "He never did anything bad. He shouldn't've died."

Roxas crawled over to him, wrapping his arms around Axel's neck. "I am so sorry." The redhead shuddered under him, hiccupping with held sobs. Eventually, Axel gave out; hot tears spilling from his eyes and onto Roxas's yellow tunic, sobs racking his body. Roxas did the only thing he could, rubbed his back and petted his hair, hugging him all the while. Sometimes you don't need to be shushed or told it would all be okay. Sometimes you just need to let it all out.

And letting it out was clearly something Axel needed to do, eventually falling asleep exhausted and spent. Crying was one of the most exhausting things to do, Roxas knew. Axel would sleep okay tonight, all the pent up energy gone from him.

But Axel still didn't sleep well. He had the same dream, Lexaeus jumping in the way, crumpling to the ground, blood on his hands. All vivid details and intensity. But this time, when red, red liquid was rushing all over his expensive suit, in rivers, in floods, Lexaeus looked him straight in the eye and instead of seeing the fear of death in his eyes, instead of seeing regret, sorrow, Axel saw calm peace. Frozen still, Axel watched as Lexaeus's mouth moved, accentuating words and syllables.

"You know," the dying man said. "You don't have to live this way."

And Lexaeus died again in his arms, leaving Axel in the living realm and going to a place where he didn't have to worry and pain was nonexistent and sadness was unheard of.

---

Secrets.

Let's face it, everyone has them. Every single person on planet Earth holds something close to them, clutching it tight so no one will ever see what it is. It might be a memory, it might be a string of words, it might be something you weren't supposed to see, it might be one blissful night in Vegas, it might be dreams, hopes, a smile, a look, a thought you weren't suppose to think. There's one thing that connects all of these possibilities; no one is ever supposed to know about them.

It might take the fun away from a wild night, it might take the edge off the words that meant so much to you, it might dull a beloved memory, or finally break whatever fantasy you built around yourself if someone else knew about them. Whatever the case; for some reason you didn't want anyone to know them. But there's always that question floating around in your head; what if someone does? What if someone finds out?

Sora Davis didn't have to worry about that anymore.

His secret was found out.

In his line of work you don't keep secrets, secrets led to conspiracies, secrets led to dead agents and traitors; led to deserters and spies. Sora was good at his job, great even, until he started telling little white lies, until he started leaving out bits and pieces and then started flat out lying to protect his interests. Eventually though…they put it all together, the holes in his story were added up and he was pulled from the mission, literally.

He was interrogated for twenty hours by his superiors, every single one of them looking for signs of his betrayal and not even considering that maybe, just maybe, he might be innocent. Brutal questions, the slyest insinuations, clever minds seeing what he did and didn't react to and started back up accordingly. Everyone was quick to assume the worst.

But Sora didn't betray them. Did he? He just did what he thought was right at the time.

He didn't betray them.

He was just in love.

"Sora."

He looked up; head heavy with fatigue and pounding from the most recent hit. He could taste the blood in his mouth, was it from his nose or did one of his teeth come loose? His left eye was swelling fast, soon to hold a gruesome shiner but he could still make out the director of the Destiny Isle branch of the FBI, the branch he belonged to. Seven months…had it really been seven months since stepped foot into his headquarters? Had it really just been seven months since he was assigned the mission?

It felt like a whole other lifetime. For him it almost was.

Little droplets of blood fell from his mouth as he spat, _"What."_

"I'll ask you again," the director said calmly, clearly not affected by the beaten and bloody state of one of his best agents or by his clear lack of regard for his boss. "Are you involved with the Spades, more than your assignment calls for?"

_Yes. _"No."

The director narrowed his eyes and Sora met them with fierce determination, willing innocence into his eyes. "What is your relationship with Riku Azzara?"

_He said he loves me. _"We fucked," Sora laughed, lungs aching at the effort. The ropes tying him to the chair chaffed at his chest. "It was _disgusting_. But it got me into the inner circle of the Spades. If I didn't then we would have an eighth of the information we do now. Like I've been telling you," he snapped. "Everything I have done was for the sake of putting this oversized street gang down." _The gang is Riku's -our- family. It's not a crime to be a family. _

"Who is Riku Azzara to you?"

_My lover, my friend, my blood brother. _Sora wheezed out another laugh. _"Nothing."_

The director stared down Sora, the much younger man staring right back, not wavering for a second. Finally the old man spoke. "If no have no connection to him then, Davis, why don't we cut your mission to an end--" Sora's eyes widened the smallest fraction while his mind was screaming scathing remarks. "--As you said, we have eight times the information we were hoping to receive. It's enough to condemn them all; we have the proof, dates, times, meetings. And you know all of it. So where is Riku Azzara now? Where is the next shipment coming in? Where is he going to meet them? Prove your innocence and prove that you have no lasting allegiance with them."

When it came down to it all, Riku was a drug dealer, an arms dealer, selling some smack to kids and shooting down anyone who dared to cross him. He was a menace to society, he was a monster in human skin, he killed and held not even a twinge remorse for the life lost. It was Sora's job to bring people like him down. But--

"_Well, if it isn't my favorite little minion," he joked, leaning back in the expensive leather chair, feet on the expensive cherry wood table. "I've been thinking about you all day."_

"_Hey, there Gorgeous," he smiled, all white teeth and shining eyes. _

"_Hey, you know what?" He asked, trapping Sora--Sky-- with those eyes of his. "One day I'm gonna get out of here and…I dunno. Go to Hawaii or something. Always wanted to do that. I'll take you with me. I'll need a minion to do my laundry," he laughed. _

"_Sky…Listen to me," he begged. "Please, please, please. Please listen to me." When the brunette didn't say anything but didn't run either, he came from behind and tightly hugged the boy, nuzzling the area where Sky's neck met his shoulders. "Please stay."_

"_I love you, Sky," he whispered into deep brown hair. _

"_I don't need any one but you, Sky."_

"_Mmmm, Sky. Right there, right--- Ah, yes!"_

"_Do you love me, Sky?" He was crumbling, Sky could see it. Desperation was at the edge of his voice, panic at the edge of his expression. Riku was starting to crumble, just because of him. It gave Sky the smallest of pleasures, seeing it. He knelt down and kissed his worried eyes, then on the middle of his forehead. _

"_Of course, Riku. Of course," Sky confessed. _

--he had to. Sk--Sora had to.

_Please forgive me, Riku. _

He told them everything.

The official report read like Sora was a victim, fallen captive to the intelligent mind of one of the Spades' finest, staying as loyal to the bureau as he could in the environment. The agent feared for his life and safety and so they called the mission short. That was what everyone knew, except for a very, very select few who only looked past the obvious truth because he their best and brightest and they couldn't afford to lose him. Not even Kairi Freah knew the truth. She only knew what the report said.

And to some point that report was fairly true. Riku made him forget who he was, made him into a real Spade, made him lose focus on the mission so many times. For those seven months he wasn't Sora Davis, he was Sky Porter, 'minion' to Riku Azzara also doubling as his lover. He started to believe in the morals that Riku lived his life on, he saw the poverty the people lived in and felt rage against his own government for it.

But he was a coward and he saved his own skin. If he didn't, Sora knew, he would have died. They would have killed him. …He didn't, he didn't want to die… Sora would do anything to survive when it came down to just that. The only thing that saved him was the information that Sora had; the actual evidence against him was staggering. They would have killed him for treason for his actions. _Riku probably would have done the same, _Sora thought._ I betrayed him too…_

Riku was presumed dead.

The building he was in exploded. He was incinerated. Nearly every Spade was arrested. Most were tried as guilty and will spend their lives in jail. Some were given the death sentence.

The time he spent with Riku, the words he said and the things he did, that was his secret. He would never tell anyone the truth; it was _his_ precious secret that he held close. _His_ memories.

No matter what anyone thought, said, or gossiped about, his memories wouldn't change, the words that were said wouldn't change, the looks he memorized wouldn't change. Riku Azzara would never fade from his memories.

Riku Azzara was his secret. His one demon. The man haunted him. Sora hoped that it would never change.

---

"Sora!"

The newly reinstated agent looked up, startled. What he saw caused a wide smile to take over his face. Selphie Tilmitt was bounding down the halls, literally skipping toward him. "Sora!" She cried as she reached him, jumping up to hug him tightly. "Sora, Sora, Sora! Oooh! I've missed you _so_ much! I would have came around to see you tomorrow but I was stuck in the lab, running fingerprints for one of the million cases they deem are 'urgent'." She rolled her eyes, major exaggeration behind the action.

Sora laughed, heart feeling lighter than it had in awhile. "Hey, Selph. Long time no strip search."

"Why can't you just let that go?! It wasn't even a strip search," she argued. "You had evidence on your clothes. I needed it. So I took your clothes. No searching included."

Sora rolled his eyes, grinning. "Yeah well, you could have warned me before you started pulling off my shirt. I was vaguely scared."

"By what? I'm five flat to your five-nine. I can't do nothing." As Sora opened his mouth, prepared to explain once again that he thought _she was jumping him at the time_, she held out her hand. "Ya know what? Let's skip this aaand fast forward to the part where we go get coffee?"

"Ah, not today Selph," he grimaced as he smiled apologetically. "I've had a hard day, I just want to go home and sleep."

Her bubbly demeanor faded. She solemnly kept her gaze to his polka dot tie. "I know, I heard. Kai's all the way in Twilight Town…and King was promoted… I'm sorry, Sor. This must be so--"

"It's not--"

"Let me finish!" Her annoyed look once again turned into something softer and caring. "If you need anything, and I mean anything, I'm here. I don't give a shit about what happened. I'm your friend Sora. And that'll never change."

Sora regarded her. Dressed in her usual yellow dress with her white lab coat over it, like usual. It was as if time stopped here, like a year didn't really pass while Sora went through the motions again. She was the same and she didn't care that maybe he wasn't the same person she knew. She just wanted to be his friend again.

He smiled. "I know, Selph."

They shared a look, one of those gazes where it's like the other person can see straight into you via the eyes. He would say so much was said silently in that second but in all honesty, Selphie was probably racking her brain for something cheerful to say while he absently counted how many barrettes she had in her hair.

There was something to be said about returning someplace. On one hand, you're shocked by the things that stayed the same and on the other you're frightened by the things that changed. It would never go back to being how it used to be nor would it be an entirely new experience.

You could only hope that things would have some sort of medium, a little of this for a little of that, tit for tat, that whole thing. It was nonsense to wish for anything more or anything less.

His superiors were one thing that changed. Instead of looking on him fondly as one of their top agents, they looked down at him, knowing the truth and barely holding scathing tongues in. It was one thing he would like to change.

The new agents, fresh from recruitment and training, looked at him with awed eyes, seeing him as the man who single-handedly took down the Spades. They stuttered when they spoke to him or flushed red. He could do without them.

His desk was in the same place, all of their desks were in the same places. But his fellow field agent was miles away in Twilight City and his superior officer had been promoted to even more high profile tasks. Sora had a new partner, whom he hadn't actually seen yet, and would be taking care of smaller, menial missions instead of what he was used to.

He'd done it before, he could do it again. And he was prepared to. There was nothing left for him to do, but to climb the ladder again and hope he wouldn't fall.

Sora sighed as he shut his car door; it would take years to earn his spot back. But, what else could he do? He'd already gone through the training and the tests and he waited a year to get back to the job he once loved. He had the instincts for it, his body prepared to run after a suspect in a moments notice, hands used to holding a gun, fingers used to pulling the trigger. He couldn't _do_ anything else.

He didn't want to do anything else, he reminded himself. He was an agent through and through. As he walked up his dark blue town house door, Sora took out his keys and flipped through them absentmindedly until finding the correct key. Why did he have so many keys in the first place? How many did even use? The house, the car, the safe holding super rare baseball cards, he ran the list through his head as he pushed in the key.

The door swung open with the force.

His eyes narrowed, senses all running alerts, lights flashing in his head. Someone broke into his town house, why; Sora didn't know. Besides the cards, which no one but him and his geeky self knew about, he didn't have anything worth stealing. The lock wasn't broken in anyway and the door itself was fine. There was no forced entering. Someone was talented enough to pick his expensive lock.

Sora upholstered his gun, taking it off safety. He was taking no chances.

_Breaking into an FBI agent's house, pfft, _he thought. _They wouldn't know what fuckin' hit them._

He pushed the door open with a swift kick, gun pointed into the foyer. There was only one way to go from here, up a few steps and then take the right that led into the main floor, a combination of a kitchen area and his living room. Straight across from the opening to the main floor were the stairs that led to the second floor. Sora cursed whatever idiot designed this place; he would be more or less in the open after he took that right, with only a few seconds to scan one area for danger before the next. In those seconds if the robber spotted him before Sora could see him and if the robber had a gun, Sora would be full of holes.

He calmed himself, pressed against the wall, gun parallel to him. He took one more breath, listened intently for any movement, none, before digging his right shoulder into the wall, turning himself fast into the opening, prepared to shoot should the robber be stupidly standing fright at the opening to the foyer.

In front of him was his minds' demon.

Riku sat on the fifth stair before him, in one hand his telltale M9 and in the other a simple picture frame. Several other frames were sitting around him, giving him an audience even though they were inanimate objects. In the barest of seconds, the brunette glanced them all over. Was it a shiver if fear that passed through him when he saw that they all held pictures if him? A bottle of Bourbon was sitting next to his left foot, the one that Sora kept underneath his jeans, untouched. It looked half-empty.

Sora pointed the gun at his head unwavering. Silently, he flicked his gaze over to the kitchen area, never taking his gun off Riku.

"No one else is here," Riku said quietly. Tenderly, he fingered the glass of the frame, stroking it with care. A tiny, tiny smile tugged at his lips.

Nevertheless, Sora briefly regarded the living room. It was in shambles but Riku was telling the truth, no one else was here. It was just the two of them.

He was terrified.

Half because Riku was ten times the better gunman than he and half because he believed the other man to be dead and seeing his familiar face made his knees weak, made his heart pump much faster than it should, pumped up on adrenaline and fear. It took all he had to keep his hands from shaking as he pointed his issued gun at the silver haired man.

Riku was alive. He survived the building, or was he ever there in the first place? It didn't matter. Riku found him. And if Riku found him then that meant that he knew everything. Riku Azzara never did anything without doing his homework first. Sora kept the emotion, the fear, the panic, and the relief, off his face, regarding him coldly. He took one step forward. "What are you doing here, Azzara?"

Riku said nothing, still gazing at the frame, running a finger over one spot over and over. Eventually, he spoke to the picture. "I thought you were dead." Now he finally regarded Sora, ignoring the gun pointed at him entirely and focusing on his face, closing in on dark blue eyes. His strong jaw quivered. "I thought you were dead, Sky. But I never gave up hope. I looked for you, _every day_. I looked for you every single god damn day." He laughed, one single uplifting exhale of breath before looking back at the picture, stroking it again. "I never thought you would be right under my nose the whole time."

Sora took one more calculated step forward. "What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?"

"I looked for you, every day. I never thought, _I never thought_…" he was growing frustrated, brow furrowing in while his mouth pursed. Sora paused, still as could be, gun trained right between Riku's eyes. The handgun clasped in his right was Riku's favorite; he was a master with it. He could flick it up and shoot Sora dead in several seconds. Sora's still form caused Riku to look up again, expression clearly confused and anxious. He noticed Sora's eyes flicking to his right hand and turned to look at it himself. He softly smiled.

"I thought I saw you, this morning. Coming from this house. I tried to chase you down but you were… gone. I waited until a few hours later, just 'skulked' around," he softly smiled a bit more. "And then I grabbed my gun and came here. Your lock is too simple, I could pick it in my sleep," he added, smiling a bit wider, desperate. "You might want to fix that."

"Why are you here, Riku?" Sora asked, hardness in his voice.

His smile saddened, perked up, then lessened into a frown, and then again shifted into a sad smile. This indecisive way about Riku almost made Sora smile. Riku struggled with his words, deep furrows in his brow as he thought and warred within himself. "I think…I think I was going to kill myself," he admitted, looking up at Sora, eyes wide with confusion, relief, happiness and sadness. "If you weren't Sky." He laughed that sad, desperate laugh. He looked like he was going to cry. "I looked for you, _for an entire year. _You don't know how happy I am, Sky." Riku bit down a strangled sob, smiling hopefully.

"My name is Sora."

Riku's shoulders shook. "I know. I looked you up." He turned his teal gaze back to the picture. "Sora means sky in Japanese. Very clever."

"I don't think… you understand Riku," Sora said carefully, wary. "My name is Sora Davis, Sky Porter doesn't exist."

"I know." It came out as a strangled sob. "I know. I know, I know, I know. I know everything. I never thought, not for one second…"

"Put your gun down Riku. And slide it over to me. "

Riku laughed. "You set your gun down, Sky." Teal locked with sapphire. "You never were too good a shoot." With a wry smile, he held up the pistol. Sora tensed, finger at the trigger. Instead of firing, Riku unlocked the barrel, one lone bullet falling out. He obediently tossed it over. For a silent moment they regarded each other, Sora couldn't place the expression on the other man's face. "Go on, Sky. If you're gonna shoot me, shoot me." He patted his chest, right over his left pectoral. "Right here. Please. Please Sky." He looked beseechingly at the reinstated agent. "Sky, do it. If anyone, I want it to be you."

_Sky_. Sora faltered; mind warping and heart beating fast. Could he really shoot Riku?

He lowered his gun.

Riku shook again, fighting down cries. The picture slid away as he ducked his head between his knees, shoulders shaking. Sora saw that it was a picture solely of him, smiling wide into the camera. Riku drew in wet gasps, sniffling hard. Hands in his light hair, he looked again at Sora.

"I forgive you," he sobbed. "I don't care. I forgive you. I--you don't know how much-- _I looked for you every day. _I don't care what you're name is or who you work for, you are the only person I need, Sk--Sora," he fixed, glancing up at the man. The brunette started shaking his head wildly, lock flopping around. Riku grew hysterical. "Please! Please, please, please, please listen to me, Sora. I'm begging you. Sora, please." At this point the silver haired man descended the stairs quickly, stumbling and crawling the rest of the way to the agent, gazing up at him with frenzied hysteria and pleading eyes. But Sora shook his head again.

"No."

Riku's heart shattered, he could feel it. His soul was weeping. _He never gave up, he looked every singe day._

Sora let the issued gun drop to the floor, falling to his knees. He was shaking, like he'd wanted to since he first saw Riku sitting on his stairs, every part of him a combination of relief, fear, confusion, loneliness, guilt, want and needs. Sora was halfway to hysteria too. Dark blue eyes searched teal, hope and love back in place, right where they should be. Right where they belonged.

"Call me Sky."

* * *

OOOOOH. DID YOU SEE THAT COMIN'?? DID. YOU. SEE. THAT. COMIN'? If you did then you are a freaky pyschic and what's my favorite color? This is twenty pages!!!! unformatted, that is. 26 if you cound the spaces FF forces me to put in. but you get the point, its long. longest I have ever written. and i am happy to say we are on the boat and it's takin off! unfortunately, our voyage will be delayed 'cause i'm gonna put up SB next. I love writing both of them but i hate doing this back and forth 'cause I just get on the inspiration train and then i have to leap onto another one ya know? crazy stuff.

[EDIT] This is now edited.

Review plz. i'm not too sure about axel's thinkning process. it's all over the place sometimes, contradicting and whatnot. does it flow? did you like the sora/riku thing?


	8. Chapter 8

Haaapy Reeading! [EDIT: This is edited] 10/5/09

* * *

Cult

Peace.

Defined in the dictionary as freedom from war or a calm and quiet state, free from disturbances or noise. It was also described as freedom from conflict and a mental calm. Right now Sky was sure the emotion he was feeling was peace, utter calm in mind and body. He knew that the wars he constantly fought inside himself were long gone, vanquished. He had worries, sure, no one could ever be totally relinquished of them, but they were mostly dulled by the warm hand loosely wrapped around his. Sky took a second to glance over at his sleeping companion and let a long held breath out.

This was it… This was really happening. Sky couldn't believe how easy it was, how simple it could be to fake your own death and make a new life. Every little detail was planned out meticulously for the past month, no aspect of little importance. He continued like normal, following the rules as he should, excelling in his missions and being friendly as he always was. Everything was suppose to look like normal, as he hid a supposedly dead convict in his bedroom and planned his getaway. Even when Kairi Freah called, Sky acted like everything was fine; he acted like Sora and laughed and joked around, never even hinting at the severe blow the next week would bring her. She would be devastated.

If he himself were to see the charred ruins of his little town house or discover the body burnt to a crisp in the inferno, he wouldn't spare it a thought. There was no reason not to believe Sora Davis tragically burned to death due to an unfortunate accident involving faulty wiring and dead batteries in the spoke detector. Sky sighed another heavy breath. No one would ever know….

And while they buried a body they thought was Sora, Sky Porter would begin his life anew. According to his legal documents, Sky Porter was a native of Seattle, Washington, nearly on the other side of the country from Destiny Isle. He went to a big public school and passed by with average grades. He didn't go to college but according to his work papers he worked at a few pizza deliveries for several years. Sky Porter was anonymous; he was of next to no importance. Yes…the only interesting thing about him was that he was moving suddenly to Hawaii.

---

Axel snorted awake; the kind of waking where you were suddenly conscious and had no idea what brought it along. Groaning, he wiped away the little remnants of sleep from his eyes and groped around for the tissues Roxas smuggled him again. Two days had passed since Roxas's confession and then later Axel's confession. Two days filled with snotty noses, teary eyes and headaches and Axel wished that his sickness would just go away. For one; it was causing him to be miserable, two;...well there wasn't a two but he really, really, could not wait until his flu wreaked its havoc and left him.

"Oh, you're awake?" A cheery voice asked, tinkling laughter following. "See, Roxas, I told you no one, not even the ones on their deathbed, can resist the Great Yuffie!"

Irked, Axel blinked at her, willing her away. But the woman before him didn't even seem to see his weary glare for she just beamed at him, cheerful in every way possible. Even her bright yellow clothing displayed her bubbly personality. Beside her, also wearing yellow but having a much more relaxed attitude, Roxas averted his gaze, instead lifting up a fragile looking cup to his mouth and cautionary sip. Every few seconds he flicked his eyes over to where the two were having a visional standoff, worried but not wanting to get too involved.

"So how are you feeling, doll face?" She enthused. "'Cause I was just telling little Roxy over here that Demy was feeling loads better, just loads better. For awhile there he was all snotty noses and watery eyes and just _whining_ all the time. Augh! It was terrible. You know I don't know how I could stand it, I really don't. Huh, I must have the patience of a saint, I really think I do. This one time Sister Aerith wanted me to keep watch over this little newbie, right? And I was like oookaay, Aer, fine with me. And this kid, _augh_. He just wouldn't shut up. And it wasn't like he had anything interesting to say either just babbling away about the strangest things. But I was just like 'okay kid, that's cool. For sure.'" She took a sip from her cup absently, talking and looking solely at Roxas now, who nodded with overwhelmed eyes. "And that's my story. How did we get on this subject, anyways? What was I talking about in the first place?"

Roxas cautiously lowered his cup as if it was a shield, the only thing defending him. "You were asking Axel how he--"

"Oh! That's right!" The woman, who Axel saw was a pretty Asian with natural tan skin and deep dark hair cut in a boyish bob, smacked her self lightly on the head. "Duh. So how are you Brother Axel?" she asked sincerely. "I hope haven't been too sickly. I see you've been getting the royal treatment by Roxy here," she motioned to the tissues with one hand and nudged Roxas with the elbow of the other, winking.

Axel gingerly took one of the soft tissues, blowing into it smugly. "I've been okay… Still have the flu though..."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're ready to be done with it right?" She groaned, shaking her head skyward. "Sister Tifa's been moaning and groaning about you _all week. _It's horrible," she whined to Roxas, pouting at him childishly before grinning slyly. "Though I'm sure it's heaven to you, Roxy. Playin' nu-" She choked on her own words, stumbling over them and into nervous laughter under Roxas's intense glare. "Uhh, uhh. So! Did you hear? Sister Penelo is suuuuper close to having her baby! She's about ready to burst any minute now." she sighed, dreamy. "I remember when she was just a tiny itty bitty thing and now it's like BOOM! Baby belly." The woman sat back, nervously sipping her drink with wide eyes.

Roxas turned his level gaze to the redhead, smile reaching his eyes and then some. "How are you feeling Axel?"

"Better than yesterday," Axel grumbled, flopping back onto his side and shutting his eyes. "It'll pass in a day or two, right?"

Before Roxas could answer, the dark haired woman spoke up yet again. "Psht. That's what brother Dem said and now he's still sniffling all over the place. I was talking to him, I said--"

"Yuffie."

Immediately she brought the cup back up again, looking away from Roxas's suddenly warning stare. "Yeah, I'm just gonna shutmymouthnow," she muttered under her breath. Annoyed but pleased that her big mouth was occupied in sipping the tea she brought him, Roxas turned back to address Axel only to find the redhead was already fast asleep. He sighed, leaning over to pull the warm colored blanket over an exposed arm.

"I'm glad to see you act this way," Yuffie stated seriously, gaze downward. "It's…I dunno. A relief, I guess."

"Me too," he agreed, giving Axel one last long look before turning back to his friend. "Yeah, me too."

"And I'm glad Brother Axel is the way he is. I think you really picked a good one, Roxas." She sighed, shoulders slumping. "I'm glad to see you smiling so much again. I'm really happy that you're happy," she croaked out, overcome with stifled emotion. "I was really worried before, you know."

"I know," Roxas repeated, expression solemn. Yuffie sniffled, wiping away snot from her runny nose. "I hope Brother Demyx hasn't gotten you sick, Yuffs," he chuckled lightly.

She laughed. "You really suck at changing the subject, sunshine. I'm just…I dunno. I know you don't like talking about it but I just wanted to let you know how I feel…I'm so happy that you're moving forward again. And so is everyone else," she told him. "We're all behind you, everyone is here for you. And if he fucks up," Yuffie jabbed her finger in Axel's direct. "I swear to the lord above that I will cut his balls off for messing with you. I really will," she added, grinning as Roxas grinned, shaking his head.

"No, I'm sure it won't come to that," he laughed. "But thanks? I dunno what to say to that."

"Say 'thank you, Great Yuffie, for being such an epic friend.'"

"Thank you, Great Yuffie, for being such an epic friend," he repeated dutifully. They sat in silence after that, not sure if they should just accept the comfortable silence or fill it with more talk. After leaning toward the former, Yuffie spotted Roxas's blue eyes flickering over to the sleeping man one too many times for her taste.

"…So…?" she ventured. "How--I mean, do you? I know you do, its obvious, but, really Roxas? Aren't you moving kind of fast? Is he even gay?"

He answered her one by one. "I do. Yes. Perhaps. I don't care," he announced with a determined state of mind. "I don't care. When he looks in my eyes--I just-- It feels I'm the only thing he looks at. I don't care if he likes other guys or not…just that he likes _me_. And that's all that matters." So determined. Roxas was near absolute, eyes full of devotion and purpose, mind full of hope and firm opinions. If Roxas thought it was, then it was. He would make it so. It was just how he was. Forward, focused, strong-minded.

Having known the little blond since he was a bundle of teenage frustration and hopelessness, Yuffie knew how Roxas worked. She knew that he would make it all work out in the end.

Call it woman's intuition, but she couldn't shake the eerie voice in the back of her head, whispering that when things are looking up, they also _crash_ down.

---

Maybe it _was_ bad, Roxas thought, to want something this bad.

Yuffie left, taking the tea Cloud brought her earlier in the day, with her, leaving Roxas to stare at Axel's red, irritated nose and think suddenly, maybe it wasn't so right. The back and forth mentality he had as a teenager came rushing back to him. He was second guessing and then third guessing his decision. These yes then no then maybe thoughts were frustrating in a way made him want to pull out his hair. He wanted sure-fire answers. A definite explanation for what he felt and for this up and down thinking.

_When in need, _Roxas thought, and made his way to Aerith's. She wasn't alone when he popped in. Cloud, devoted and determined Cloud, who put the thought in his brain that he should be out there, in the city, among people who just wanted to hurt everyone around them, instead if in their little safe community. Roxas wasn't sure if he was brave or incredibly thick. Nevertheless, a brother was a brother and Cloud most certainly believed in what Roxas did. "Hey Aerith, Cloud."

"Little Roxas," Cloud greeted, smile uplifting his lips from the perpetual fine line it was usually in. Being close friends with Aerith much longer than Roxas knew her, he was well acquainted with her little brother and, _whenever he was near, _Roxas thought bitterly, took up the mantle of a responsible, mature big brother while Demyx was fun and cheerful, carefree. Nothing worried Demyx but everything worried cloud, so much so that he needed to be involved more than he could here.

Aerith giggled girlishly, shaking her head. "'Little Roxas'. He's not so little anymore though. Our little brother is a big brother now," she informed cloud, his eyebrows shooting up, shocked. Aerith nodded, pleased smile on her face like she was a proud parent showing off her award winning son.

Cloud paused before he could congratulate, certain thoughts coming back to him and making him fidget minutely. He looked to Aerith; saw her beaming face without any and all worries or doubts, saw her certainty and hidden relief before nodding at the younger blond. "Good for you," he said and really meant it.

Fidgeting from one foot to another and feeling like he was intruding, Roxas said, "Um. Should I come back at another time?" Roxas sent a meaningful look at Cloud, wanting a private talk with her.

Aerith frowned, smile falling dramatically from her face and Roxas instantly felt guilty for causing it. "Yes, I suppose Roxas," she said with a sour look on her normally peaceful face.

Ashamed at being such a prick but feeling stubborn enough to not dwell on it too much, he trekked back to his own brightly colored tent. Besides learning that Cloud was back, Roxas angrily thought, today was a waste.

---

Today, tomorrow, the day after that…they were all meaningless. Worthless. The days ahead were bleak and the light at the end of the tunnel was so far away that it was a mere white pinprick in the suddenly too dark future. Every day from now on, Kairi numbly thought, would be terrible, painful, a stab of guilt and sorrow with every second that went by.

Sora, cheerful, optimistic, happy Sora, funny, smiling Sora who was her _best friend-- Oh, god _she thought, sick and lungs hurting and hot wet tears on her eyelashes, _no, no, no. _No-- Sora, Sora was dead? Dead?! "You're lying," she spat into the receiver, seeing red rage and grim disbelief. "You're lying!"

"Kairi," her ex-commanding officer, Agent King sighed, Kairi could envision him rubbing his sore and weary eyes. "Kairi, please listen to me. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. But Sora passed away. I'm so sorry."

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, by the time she hung up Kairi was sick of those words, sick of hearing them, sick of the claimed sympathy. She sat on her couch just, just not doing anything. Disbelief and numb acceptance warred in her, shaking her head at the news and yet knowing that yes, it must have happened and yes, they weren't lying to her. Wasn't everything supposed to be different? Everything had changed so then why did it feel like a dream? Like someone was going to pop out and yell 'SURPRISE! It was all a joke; your friend's really okay.'

There was an anxious quality to her muscles, like they simultaneously weighed a ton and were feather light. And everything else was….empty. She lay down, drawing her legs up her and hugging them. She felt the emptiness in her, grim knowledge telling her that Sora died in a fire. That Sora was being cremated in a few days. It was an electrical problem, King said. And he probably suffocated on the toxic air he breathed when asleep and didn't feel any pain. She knew the facts and yet couldn't believe it. Her body couldn't believe it.

She cried herself to sleep that night, along with the next two days. She felt like she should be doing something, not laying around and crying, making calls to Sora's parents and her friends back home. She felt like she should _do_ something and yet knew she couldn't muster up the actually want to do it. Kairi couldn't eat, grief feeding her instead. The only actual food she ate in two days was the Pizza Barn cheese pizza Zexion brought over out of kindness and empathy. She questioned him, more like screamed and begged; _how did you get through this? Will I always miss my friend this badly? Does it get easier? Will this pain go the fuck away? When will things be normal again? Will they ever be?_

He looked at her with sympathy in his face, apology and knowing in his eyes. She bawled even harder at his words, a simple utterance that told her just how it was going to be.

_No,_ he said, shaking his head softly. _No. _

---

If Axel liked anything about being sick, which he absolutely abhorred by now, was waking up when the sun was going down, knowing it was getting cold out and knowing that he was warm and comfy inside and knowing that some were outside and getting Goosebumps and shivers and shudders from a stray breeze. When night came in the land around Twilight City, no matter how hot the day was, the night was always chilly to compensate. It pleased him in a weird way, knowing he was better off than some.

While he was curled up and contemplating this, a victim of the night's chilly breeze, quickly lifting the cloth wrap and setting it back down just as fast as he stepped in. Like it was a major relief to make it to the yellow tent, Roxas sighed, shoulders slumping. "Hey, Roxas," Axel greeted through a snotty nose.

Pleasantly surprised, the blond took in his little brother, covered in several blankets and effectively making a cocoon around himself and chuckled heartily. "Hi, Axel. Think you have enough blankets?"

"No," he sniffed, snuggling even further into the warmth. Roxas shook his head at Axel's behavior, smiling. Aerith gave him reassurances, telling him again and again what he already knew but needed to hear once in awhile in order to keep his head clear. "Yeah, well," Roxas murmured, looking around. "Did you leave any for me?"

Curious, Axel looked around too and found that the only blanket left was keeping Axel from sleeping on dirt and Roxas staring at him with a raised eyebrow. Challenging, Axel also raised an eyebrow. With everything wrapped up in the warm colored blankets and only his upper face exposed, the look was comical and any intimidation that Axel might have had in the look washed away when he sniffed up mucus loudly.

"Just give me a blanket, Ax," Roxas demanded, rolling his eyes. The sick man grumbled but adamantly dislodged a red blanket form his pile. Roxas stared at the thin little sheet Axel threw at him before turning the level stare to the redhead. Again he grumbled, uttering nonsensical things under his breath while picking out another to hand to Roxas. Satisfied, the blond finally settled down, wrapping himself much like Axel had. The fabric tickled his nose and he breathed in the smell of the other man. He chuckled, how could it not? With Axel here more than the blond himself it was only time before everything smelled like him and Roxas couldn't say he wasn't pleased.

"What's so funny?" Axel asked, peeking at Roxas through one open eye, the other being closed shut by his cheek, squished on the ground. Even in the dark, he could make out the color of Axel's iris's and wondered if Axel was looking into his blue's, thinking; _everyone always said I had beautiful eyes. _

"Everything smells like you," the blond admitted aloud.

"Stop saying I smell, Rox," Axel whined, mock offended. "You're so mean. I hope you get sick from my contaminated sheets."

Roxas scoffed. "No you don't. Then you'd have to take care of me. Actually I really hope I don't get sick now," he joked, warily eyeing the blankets wrapped around him.

"What are you saying now? I am a great caretaker. You would be honored to have me looking after you."

"Hah! As if. You won't even let me have my own blankets," Roxas griped. "I would freeze to death under your watchful eye."

There was a rustle of fabric as Axel shoved most of the red, yellow and orange colored blankets toward Roxas's direction, keeping them on himself but obvious making a point to offer the warmth to him now. Roxas, sniffing snootily, only accepted and scooted closer after Axel him a _really_?look. There was definitely more warmth here, something to do with the fact that they had been feeding off Axel's body warmth for most of the day and that there were now two bodies sharing them, giving and taking heat.

Roxas could literally feel Axel's body heat, if he listened close enough could hear the soft pounding of his heart, close enough to gently feel the little breeze caused by his breathing. He scooted closer, thinking that Axel might be able to pay attention and think these same thoughts and so relieved that he decided to take a shower today; sure the soft scent of his shampoo would drift into Axel's dreams tonight.

"You smell like…sugar," Axel softly mumbled, more than halfway to sleep by now.

"I borrowed it from Aerith," Roxas lied, pleased more than he really should be. "…Do you like it?"

Axel hummed, eyes closed and probably not paying any attention to him at all. Roxas shuffled in the tiniest bit more, close but not close, just near. While Roxas could reach out and touch a hip, a shoulder, chest, he didn't, knowing things would come as they came. He actually liked this not too close nearness, the comfortable proximity.

Roxas vaguely remembered reading some years ago that after you stay close to a person for an amount of time, your hearts start beating to the same rhythm. Although maybe he just made it up, he didn't really care because he knew that eventually theirs would anyway.

---

It is a sad satisfaction, Zexion Gray noted. To know that someone else is going through what you went through, surviving what you survived, feeling the pain you hardly notice anymore. But it is one thing to get a call telling you everything you have ever known, the life you knew, is over, terminated and quite another to see it before your eyes. It may have been a year, in some ignorant people's minds that amount of time wasvwell more than enough to get over grief, but nothing could ever wipe that brief moment from his mind.

Kairi had it easy, he decided. While grieving over the death of a loved one could never be rated on a scale of one to ten, she would never have to dream about it; never see the image behind her eyes when she blinked or during periods of calm. It was a stab of sorrow whenever Zexion was at peace. Yes, Kairi had it easy.

She would never have to feel her heart literally skip several beats as the eyes that once held you in their pupils lost focus forever, or have the feeling of blood permanently on her hands.

Grim, Zexion shoved the thoughts away and focused on the matter at hand, literally. The bouquet of brightly colored tulips was growing heavy in his hand and he softly bent down to despite them gently before the head stone. He didn't know what they meant in flower language or even general knowledge about them. All he knew was that Lex liked them and, given the circumstances, Zexion was thinking about his long gone friend.

Honestly, he thought about his friend a lot, at the very, very least twice a day, when he woke up and thought _oh _and when he went to sleep and thought _well fuck. _And those were the very best days, the days when he didn't forcefully shove salty tears back down, or when he fought sudden sobs thinking _Oh, that's right, we were here before _and cried out for the better days. The happy days.

Zexion wasn't a fool. He knew that those days were long gone, lost to time and the ever moving world. He knew that nothing, absolutely nothing, could bring his friend back. The agent knew but it didn't stop him from wishing to go back, or wishing for one more chance, please oh please, _I'll do anything. _Zexion Gray was much too versed in science and logic to believe in miracles or gifts from god. No matter if he prayed for every second of the day for the rest of his life, his wish would never be granted, because no one was there to grant it.

Zexion just had to read the engraving on the block of stone to know that nothing was fair, nothing was just, and that good people were hurt and bad people were rich. He knew that for every crook he and his team sentenced to life in jail, there were ten others popping up to take his place. There was no justice in the world, no more good outweighing the bad. The only reason Zexion worked zealously the way he did was because his friend died to protect the justice of his country, had so much pride in what he did, and genuinely thought that he could make a difference.

_You were a fool, _Zexion softly thought to himself, quiet even in his own mind. _You were a lionhearted fool who died because of it._

"You were a fool," he said aloud to no one but to an inanimate piece of rock that was only important because it held his friend's name on it. Suddenly he hated the headstone, hated what it represented, hated the entire cemetery and just wanted out, damn it, it hurt too much to be here anymore.

--

Ah.

Axel breathed in deeply and exhaled the same way, nose and lungs clear of nasty stuff that made him cough and sneeze. He wasn't cold and hot at the same time anymore; no longer felt the need to sleep sixteen hours in a day. Axel wasn't being plagued by pounding headaches or aching muscles.

He wasn't sick anymore.

The thought had never been so welcome, so anxiously waited upon.

He wasn't sick anymore and now could go back to the life he was used to, waking up early and being among people, friendly people, doing whatever, joking around and smiling more than he was used to ever doing since childhood and just generally _being_. Never had he wanted so much to get up and go to work, not since his was a plucky lackey of the bureau. When was the last time he was excited to eat with people he called friends? The last time he wanted to spend hours with a person and want to do it over the next day and the next?

Now that he actually could, safe from giving other people his sickness, Axel intended to make up for his general crankiness while being sick. He had a plan, a simple plan but a plan nonetheless; just catch up with everyone. While the little community wasn't full of drama like the city was, where someone was always cheating on someone or doing something else worth gossiping about, there were things he wanted to ask about. How have you been? What have you been doing? Anything happen while I was sleeping the week away?

He planned on smiling, laughing, joking, and generally being friendly under the guise, he told himself, of collecting bits and pieces for the investigation.

So that's what he did.

When he woke up the next morning, all but jumping out of bed, he cheerfully watered the plants while under the gentle eyes of Aerith and met Cloud, the mysterious man who was free to come and go from Sunshine Fields as he pleased. He eagerly listened to Aerith as she blabbed on and on about the blond. Cloud, who was quiet but pleasant, worked for a man named Cid in a business called _Gummi Repairs _and they gave jobs to homeless and other more or less fortunate people and educated them about the greater God.

He couldn't help but like the quiet man, who was ever helpful to Aerith and tried to be for Roxas. He also couldn't help but notice the frigid quality about Roxas when Cloud was around, tenseness in his shoulders and a deep frown in his eyebrows when he thought no one was looking. Axel also couldn't help but notice the way Aerith looked at cloud and the way Cloud looked Aerith. When Roxas finally snapped and told Axel it was time to go, duties only a six of the way done, Axel had a lot of material to ask the non-teen about.

"Are they, like, together?" As soon as the question was blurted out of the redhead's mouth Roxas snapped his head to look at the man who towered above him, annoyance falling to an _are you kidding me? _expression.

"What?"

"Are Aerith and Cloud together? Romantically? Or, really, sexually?"

"What?" The frown between Roxas's brows intensified and was followed with a crinkling nose and pursed lips. "What? No. No." Shaking his head of the thought, Roxas tried to continue on, hoping to leave that conversation behind.

But Axel wouldn't let it be. "Are you sure? The way they looked at each other…. I mean, maybe it was just me, but I could have sworn there was something there."

"Like what," Roxas frowned. "Friendship? Love?" Seeing Axel's face brighten as he said the word, Roxas chuckled, rolling his eyes. Oh, jeez. "Axel. Everyone looks at everyone that way, you just now noticed it. I told you, everyone loves everyone, no matter what. While it may not be the love you thinking of, it most certainly it love." Laughing softly, Roxas kept shaking his head at the redhead. "C'mon, you want to gossip about any other possible relationships or do you want to go to work? I'm sure Tifa missed you."

"As charismatic as I am, I'm sure many people miss me as soon as I leave their presence."

Roxas snorted. "Keep telling yourself that. Just keeep telling yourself that."

Axel barked out a laugh. "Are you saying I'm not lovable?"

"I'm saying you're cocky."

---

"So, Axel, now that little Roxas isn't looking over your shoulder we can really get down to business. I want you to make six good bowls by the time today's done. And I don't mean gobs of clay with a big hole in it. A well done bowl that you would be proud of. I showed you the techniques, now I want you to put them to good use," Tifa smiled down at him, like a benevolent angel, like it hadn't taken him two hours to make one sloppy bowl and there was only a few more hours left in the day before dinner.

"Uhhh, sure," he said nervously, already beating out a lump of clay hastily when something occurred to him. Everyone babied Roxas, like he was a little kid being taken care of and not a grown adult. "Why 'little Roxas'?"

Surprised, Tifa broke out in a smile. "You don't know? Roxas was the youngest person here at sixteen. He really _was_ everyone's little brother. We all have a soft spot for him, especially…" she trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

"Especially what?"

"It's really not my story to tell. And it really doesn't matter. We all love brother Roxas, no matter what. He's our baby, even if he isn't the youngest anymore," she shrugged, smiling wryly before leaving him and talking to another potter even though Axel _clearly_ wanted to keep talking to her.

As he molded bowl after bowl, Axel thought about how everyone else protected Roxas like he was a porcelain doll, Demyx even threatened him about it and Axel could clearly see the motherly way Aerith looked at her 'little brother'. If he really was the baby of the cult family then Axel could understand why Roxas was being treated so kindly. And it would prove true that everyone loved everyone.

But something lurked around. When Demyx talked to him there was something layering his speech. Even if Axel was an outsider, everyone else accepted him, so why did Demyx feel the need to go as far as to threaten him? What would drive him to think about someone hurting Roxas when the cult was so peaceful?

Maybe it was his agent senses tingling but Axel couldn't help but think he was missing a few clues.

"Axel!" Suddenly the young man in question was before him, beaming a smile that would make the sun shy away in shame. "C'mon. It's dinnertime! You haven't have a real dinner with us in ages," he enthused, already dragging Axel up and away from his two and a half bowls.

"But I didn't finish!"

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Did she tell you to make a hundred cups or something? She always does that, no one ever finishes. It's okay. You can finish tomorrow. Just wash your hands and let's go."

Grudgingly he followed the eager blond, dreading what might happen the next day when Tifa finds out he didn't finish his assignment. "Are you sure it's okay? I don't want her get mad. She looks like she could beat me up."

"Tifa would never do anything like that," Roxas laughed. "I don't know her too well but she's one of Yuffie's best friends and you have to have a heart of gold to keep up with her."

"Ah, I see."

---

The sun was down, white moon steadily climbing in the black sky. The little hairs on Axel's arm rose as a breeze drifted past the thin pastel uniform and tickled his bare ankles. Beside him he saw Roxas shudder under the chill wind, wrapping his skinny arms across his chest like it would fend off the breezes as they went by. Thankfully, neither had to undergo the wind anymore as Roxas's home came into view. The blond locked eyes with his taller friend and after grinning mischievously and winking, he ran off, making a bee line for the tent.

Axel briefly laughed at his behavior, shaking his red hair. He idly reminded himself to take a shower the next day, shocked at how gross he was and how he really didn't notice it until now. As he ducked under the cloth door Axel saw that Roxas was already under the sheets and blankets, already attempting to go to sleep. His brow furrowed at the thought. "Do you not do anything after you eat? Just go to sleep and start your whole day over again in the morning?"

Roxas twisted around to look at him. "Uh…yeah. Basically. After the sun goes down there's not much to do. Why? You wanna do something?"

Axel huffed, picking up a red and a yellow blanket. "No. I dunno, I just, I dunno…I was just wonderin'."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Roxas lay still, listening to Axel rustle about before the noises just abruptly stopped. _Something_ was up with him. "Do you…want to talk?" Nothing would please Roxas more, Axel opening up like he did a few days ago, about his friend's death. The blond didn't really know much about the man sharing his home and Axel wasn't exactly giving in that respect. It would be great if--

"No."

Oh.

Roxas idled, too awake with his thoughts to try to sleep. For the next several moments he basically twiddled his thumbs, working up the courage to start talking anyway. "When I was a kid," he blurted out. "When I was a kid I wanted to be a firefighter when I grew up."

Beside him, Axel barked out a laugh. "A firefighter? Really?"

"Yeah," Roxas smiled. "A firefighter. I just thought it was so cool, so brave. But I was really small for my age back then, small for my age now, everyone always tried to get me to want to be something else. A veterinarian, a doctor, a pirate--"

"What! A pirate?"

"Yeah, I don't know. They just wanted to change my mind. I guess they thought I would never be a firefighter, because I was so small in all, but it really made me mad when they did that. I would throw a fit until they just got fed up and stopped…" Roxas clicked his tongue. "They always got fed up…"

Axel turned to him and after seeing the sad expression on the younger man's face he started talking. "…I wanted to be James Bond when I grew up."

An amused smiled ran its way across Roxas's lips. "The spy?" He asked the pointed top of his tent. "Why?"

"I thought he was so cool," Axel laughed. "He was smart, handsome, got all the babes. And at the end of the day he always saved the world, no matter what. He was a hero, without the powers and minus one radioactive spider. I wanted to be just like him…"

"What happened?" It was whispered, like it was a taboo subject, Axel's supposed downfall into the streets of Twilight City.

"Nothing…" Axel whispered back. "Nothing happened. It just…it didn't happen."

---

"If there is one thing that keeps this community alive and well, that hold us together and keeps us strong and faithful in the omnipresence of our creator," Ansem paused in his speech letting the members lean in eagerly, awaiting his next words. "It is love." He paused again, letting it soak in. "The love we feel for each other _is_ the power of our faith. We are created simply to be, to feel nothing but love and kindness toward one another. It is the love that people have forgotten, the love of your neighbor, your brother, no matter what.

"It is the fundamental of _living_. Without the love amongst us, this," Ansem gestured widely outward. "Would not be. If we didn't have the love, the care for one another, the loyalty to your brothers and sisters, the Fields wouldn't be what it is today. Because we carry love our mother above has for us, we live as she wants us to live. Our mother, that is maker of the entire world, the universe and all of its belongings, wanted us to live this way. Simply being kind and caring and loving to everyone around you. It makes us a family," Ansem entwined his hands, interlocking his fingers.

"It makes us one. Because you love your brothers, you love your sisters, unconditionally, it makes us perfect family. There are no blood ties but there needn't be. The thought that you must share blood to be called family is folly. It is nonsense spread by people who fear. We need no blood to be one; we need no shared family, by loving we are a family. The definition of a family is a group of people who protect and care for and love one another."

Roxas watched with rapt attention. The twenty year old swallowed, glanced at the redhead beside him and quickly flicked back over to the Wise Man. It was normal for him to feel this way then, just as Aerith said.

"I adore all of you," Ansem said. "I feel for you like all of you are my own children. I love you," he said to someone close to him. "I love you," he said to another and looked back up at all of the others. "Turn to your neighbors and tell them as such. You love your brothers and sisters so tell them."

There was an immediate hum of people turning to inform someone of their love, and when they ran out of people at their circles they told the next circle of people and the next, eventually everyone rose from their seats to spread their words of love to everyone.

Heart pumping loud, Roxas turned to the person he took of the streets, shared his home, gave a new life to. Those bright clear blue sky eyes looked straight into Axel's green, intensity behind his gaze. Determined, Roxas confessed, "I love you."

Axel merely followed the wave, seeing others doing so and following their example he replied, "I love you." He didn't see the flame erupt in Roxas's eyes, or the wide eyed breathy expression come over Roxas, or see how the younger man lurched in his direction. Axel turned to Aerith and repeated the same, she smiling wryly and saying the same.

---

Perhaps it was Roxas's imagination but there was definitely something new in the air, he thought. Something lighter, something heavier, something that came around whenever Axel was near him, which was, admit tingly, nearly all the time. But Roxas could feel a little something spark in the air, a tingle, a tickle. Did Axel feel it too?

And perhaps it was just Roxas's overactive mind but wasn't there something behind Axel's eyes when he looked at him. An intensity, an underlying feeling was there, making Roxas's heart jump up into his throat.

Was it just him or did Axel seem to touch him a lot? Ruffling his hair, fingers just touching the tiniest bit when they walked together, gently touching his shoulder to say something funny, or leaning on him when it got darker and everyone was till talking around the fire.

Was his just him or did it seem to get hotter and harder to breathe then Axel got so close to him? Seeing as Yuffie and Aerith and Demyx were all fine Roxas assumed it really was just him.

Axel said he loved him, looked right into his eyes and said it. But did he mean it? Really mean it like Roxas did? Since the moment he laid his eyes on the redhead he felt it, felt the heavy lightness in his heart. And now that he openly admitted it, Roxas thought it was so obvious, his feelings for Axel. How could Axel not know? He had to know. Roxas was running these increasingly frantic thought through his head at am alarming rate. The man in question was gone, off to making cups and bowls for everyone to use since they finally used up all of those paper plates one of the sisters brought with her.

So wrapped up in his thought was he that he didn't notice the soft pitter patter of feet against soft grass until a hand softly clamped on his shoulder. Sure, Roxas jumped about four feet in the air and yelped a little bit but he quickly regained his senses, flipping around fast and a smile breaking out on his face faster.

The Wise Man stood before, solemn look on his face. "I come to see a good friend and instead I find a sour looking young man. Tell me, little brother, what has your face so long."

A distraught sigh left Roxas as he bowed his head respectfully, peeking up at Ansem through blond fringe. "Hello, sir. I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm confused," he confessed. "It's like one second I'm thinking one thing and another the next. I'm never too sure anymore and I'm second guessing myself more than ever. I'm just not sure if you were correct in your vision anymore, Wise Man."

Ansem smiled down at him, benevolent as always, caring as always, and knowledgeable in ways everyone needs. "Young Roxas… I was not wrong in my prophecy. I have had complete faith in my vision since it came to me. It was a message clearly from our father, given to me to give to you in your time of need. There is no erroneous information in what I told you. I confirmed it for myself when I looking into that man's eyes. You need to have faith in yourself if you want to see it happen."

With wide eyes Roxas frantically asked, "But you said it was a prophecy! Isn't it destined to come true?"

"No, no. A prophecy is only a possible future. You can chose whether or not it comes true through wrong or right actions. You need to believe in yourself if you want it to come true. I am but the messenger," he said mournfully. "It is up to you to grasp at happiness. Take when I have told you to heart, no longer doubt yourself or my vision."

"Your vision," Roxas said. "Please. Tell me it again. I need to hear it again."

Ansem sadly smiled. "Again and again, I have told you. Will you ever tire of hearing the words of an old man?"

"Never."

"Very well. I'm sure you remember, I don't expect you to ever forget, but during that terrible time, when the world so bleak for you, I came to have a vision in my dreams. It was the mother, the father, our god above us. She spoke to me, telling me great things, about you, about the future, of hope and salvation. I immediately sought you out. He told me of your aching heart, your pain, the suffering, I told you of this. He told me of the future, a beam of light to carry you forward from the dark of your heart. In came in the form of a person, a soul much like yours, stricken with grief and terrible dark. She said you would know when the time came; you would feel the pull and find this person.

"And through your bond, you will save each other from darkness in your heart. You will be each other's light, by saving him you save yourself and vice versa. They told me such," he kindly stated, eyes soft as Roxas soaked up his words. "I have seen it for myself. Your young man, Axel, has much sorrow and pain in him, held back in an iron grip."

"Yes," Roxas agreed, nodding. "He told me his friend died."

"But it is more than that, there is such powerful emotions surrounding him leading him. Roxas, make sure he does not follow the wrong path. Through his rescue of heart you will find yourself free of your own darkness. You can only find the light when trying to lead someone to it," he said wisely. "Do you understand now Roxas? Have I helped you?"

"Yes," he whispered, nodding softly, thinking over thought. "Yes, thank you."

"And don't forget Roxas," he reminded. "He loves you, I have seen it. He loved you long before."

It was a long time after the Wise Man left, a long time before Roxas put everything back together, reformed his resolution, saw what he needed and what Axel needed. They we meant for each other, right? The Wise Man _saw it_. Roxas only need to have faith and the proposed happiness would be theirs, pain all forgotten and gone.

---

It was well into the night, Yuffie inviting them over for tea and gabbing for several hours, reminiscing mostly with Aerith and wondering about Leon and the mysterious Cloud. It shocked Axel but apparently the two stoic men had a 'thing'. First Roxas, then Leon AND Cloud. Axel calmly sipped his third cup of tea while thinking 'who next?'. But he decided it didn't matter much, as people were people and Axel learned long ago that sexual tendencies didn't make someone less of a good shot or have a weaker right hook.

And Leon and Cloud looked like they could beat him into a pulp, which the agent respected immensely.

By the time Yuffie ran out of things to talk about and Roxas had yawned at least twenty times, it was pitch black outside, sliver of the moon barely lighting their sleepy way home. Almost tripping over his feet, Axel had to balance on Roxas a few times, the weight of his fingertips unbelievably searing to Roxas's skin. It tingled, heart beating fast as Roxas decided to actually do something about it and have faith that Axel loved him and needed this too.

But courage was slow coming, anxiety making him wait until they were both under thick blanket, the spring heart only evident during the day. The strong thumping was so loud to his ears as he sat up and twisted to look at the attempting to sleep face of Axel's. So loud, so thundering, drowning out the sounds of the night. His felt hot and his stomach churned nervously as he moved his hands on either side of Axel head, palms sitting on strings of red hair, Axel wincing as they were pulled and blinking to find Roxas hovering above him.

They stared at each other in silence, Axel blinking and Roxas staring with wide eyes, nervous eyes gradually making Axel nervous the longer he stared at them. "Uhhh, Rooox? Wha--"

Lips were on his, definite pressure forcing them together in a one-sided kiss. Stunned, Axel could only stare at the closed eyelids of his friend, absolutely nothing passing through his head, only blank acknowledgement that he was being kissed. When Roxas finally edged back, pressure gone, and blue, blue, eyes were half lidded and he licked his lips and Axel heard the short little breathy breathes did he finally catch up with just _what_ was going down.

Frantically he barreled back wards, staring at Roxas in shock, furious confusion all over his face. "Just what the fuck was that, Roxas?! What? Are you--what? What?! Just wha--I mean--wha--" The breathy accusation died in his throat as Roxas just followed him, lanky arms holding him too close to the redhead. Blue eyes focusing and diving in one more time, landing on the mark for one precious moment before Axel's arms spontaneously decided to start working again and he was pushed away, blinking in confusion.

Axel himself was confused as fuck because--fuck! What the hell? "Stop it, Rox."

Panting and confused the blond did as he was told, blinking rapidly. Wait--what? But but, but Axel looked at him, he touched him, smiled at him, and the Wise Man said they were meant for eachother, it was God's prophecy! Axel said he loved him… "I don't understand," he said. "Don't, don't you love me?"

Despite what Axel told him, the way he was pushed back earlier, Roxas leaned forward again, Axel freezing before him. "Don't you love me?" He whispered, eyes already dipping closed for another kiss, sweet and soft and he tilted his head in just the right way, just enough pressure, so why wasn't Axel responding like he should? "You like being with me right? Spending time with me," he demanded to know. "We have fun, you laugh, you smile, you look at me with _those_ _eyes_. Axel, don't you love me?"

Axel, fists clenched in the soft fabric of the sheets spilling around them, couldn't answer, literally. Once again Roxas found his mouth in fierce kiss that let both of them gasping; Roxas because he was growing lightheaded, Axel because he forgot to breathe. He _did_ like being with Roxas, he _did_ like the kid--young man, Roxas was fun, Roxas made him laugh, Roxas was kind and caring to him. He liked him. Did he love Roxas? Even in his increasingly hazy mind Axel was starting to see that the blond felt that way about him. As Roxas grew more confidant and descended to Axel's neck, sucking on sensitive places the redhead didn't even know he had, Axel thought if _this _was the kind of love he felt for Roxas. Was it?

Axel gasped, eyes clenching shit tightly, Roxas making a small noise against his skin as he straddled Axel's waist. He opened his mouth to object but snapped his mouth shut as his earlobe was taken captive by Roxas's teeth, preventing any noise he could possibly make. When was the last time this'd happened? The details were becoming blurry, dates and memories soft female curves fading as Roxas _grinded_. A sharp intake of air between teeth followed shortly by a shuddery outward breath. Oh, shit.

Roxas was busying himself while Axel mentally warred on the inside, one hand fumbling around the hem of Axel's tunic while the other wrapped around his shoulders; a steady hold for when Roxas thrust forward. He smiled against the growing red mark on pale skin as he heard Axel hiss and felt his rapid breathing under his fingertips. "I love you Axel," the blond whispered into his ear, felt the shudder Axel gave.

Axel gulped, barely hearing what Roxas had to say, only felt the brush of lips and blow of air as he spoke. The smallest noise left him as chilled fingers brushed up his skin, giving him Goosebumps as they caressed forward, Roxas hips starting to form a rhythm against his. He couldn't think anymore, only barely registered what was causing what and where it was. Roxas's fingers in his hair, his tongue and teeth on his Adam's apple, hips, oh god, his hips.

He felt it, holy fuck did he feel it. Girls he knew weren't like this, didn't grind against him like they loved it too. Fuck, fuck, fuck, "F-fuck," he swore, as Roxas changed angles and Axel could really feel his erection against his. It was weird thinking of the blond that way, in terms like that, but flushed up against him Axel couldn't ignore it, could feel the part of them that made them the same. And _fuck_ it felt good.

Roxas pressed himself down harder, kissing Axel's mouth and humming with joy when the redhead clumsily responded, like he was delayed in processing what was happing, belatedly reacting. He was grinning like a fool, panting into sloppy kisses while trying to get the other man to lean back, lay down. Axel wanted this, was responding purposefully and moaning, gripped his shirt and actually thrusted back, gasping at the result.

Axel went down obligingly, saw with dazed eyes Roxas smile at him with bruised lips and he smiled back because hey, Roxas had a nice smile, he was a happy guy and let's face it; Axel was halfway to the moon. He groaned, following the fast rhythm Roxas set, letting out gasps and grunts as Roxas 'ahh'-ed and 'mhmm'-ed, the thin material of their pants a delicious friction. Axel's hands somehow found their way up Roxas's shirt; one hand gripping hard on his hip and the other cawing at his back. Roxas cried out in breathy gasps, shivering. "Axel," he panted. "Axel."

The man in question grunted, thrusting up and against Roxas, thinking if he got any harder he was going to die and Roxas panting in his ear wasn't helping him at all. "Rr-ruh-ro--ah, shit, fuck." Roxas, finding his mouth and swapping spit with him, tongue dancing around his, clutched a fistful of hair and tugged hard as he stilled for a moment, leaving Axel to run butterfly kisses around his lower neck. Eyes closed and panting Axel's name like it was prayer, his hips ground against the redheads, losing their rhythm and just going by on instinct, just liking the friction they made as they rubbed against each other and felt the heat, the great heat surrounding them.

The blond clenched his eyes, crying out incoherent things as he felt it peaking, the heat inside and out, shuddering and shaking as he reached his limit, still grinding against Axel as he came, gasping as hot semen dampened his pants. Roxas responded to the messy, wet kisses Axel gave him, the man arching up, up, up, to get that perfect angle, moaning as he found it, thrusting upward until everything was white hot and he was panting, sweat on his brow and cum in his pants.

"Roxas," Axel breathed, hand still grasping a hip and the other laying flat against the blond's hot skin. Roxas gave little breathy gasps, close to his ear, nuzzling into red hair. "Mmm, Axel. I love you," he said, clutching Axel to him.

Maybe it was the post-coital bliss that made him say what he said, or maybe it was Axel thinking and deciding on it, maybe it was that usually when the you did this sort of thing you replied back with the same words, no matter if you meant it or not. Whatever the reason, whatever the cause, Axel felt the lightness, the bliss in his mind, felt the body pressed nicely against him and said back; "I love you too."

* * *

..........I....I don't...I don't know what to say.... I can't believe i just wrote this.... I guess Cult has finally earned it M status? First time guys, how'd I do?

Well on a less embarrassing note WE HAVE REACHED ONE HUNDRED, COUNT 'EM, _ONE HUNDRED_ PAGES. I am so proud.


	9. Chapter 9

HAPPY READING!!! :]

* * *

CULT

"Are you okay, Axel?"

The redhead in question jumped, nearly startled out of his skin, running on a fierce urge to just _go_. That was the first thing that occurred to him, sitting up with wide eyes and staring down at the peacefully sleeping creature next to him. ('Creature' because Axel wasn't even able to comprehend him as a 'man' right now and, more importantly, a 'man who has a _dick_' like him.) Just two slow uncomprehending blinks and he was _outta there_, flinging himself out of the tent and into the slowly waking community on mechanically moving legs.

Too many half-thoughts ran through his head, too many things just bubbling up to the surface, mostly ghost-like memories; like feeling of fingertips running up his side, giving him Goosebumps; like hot breath on his shoulder; the feel of soft hair under his fingers; soft skin against his; tongue on his ear. He hardly felt the ground under him, but he felt his gut twisting, cold sweat. And he definitely felt how his heart lunged into his throat as Aerith called out to him, worry on her pretty face.

She took a step toward him, hand reaching out to take hold of his shoulder in a way that seemed very motherly, very caring even though she did not know him at all. "You look like you've seen a ghost," she said with a small smile. "White as one too. Why don't you sit down, you look faint." After getting him to do so, she looked around, blinking in confusion. "Where's Roxas?"

Axel scowled, anger covering up his startled jolt at the name. Why was it so strange to see him without the blond? They weren't attached at the hip, they could be in different places without it being a big deal. Roxas wasn't a piece of him or vice versa. He didn't _need_ Roxas to go places. He wasn't co-dependent on the boy.

"Oh, Axel, honey, I know. I didn't mean anything by it, I was just wondering is all," she softly said, leaning down to rub at his back with soft, if startled, eyes. It occurred to Axel that he just said all of that aloud and he flushed indignantly red and buried his face into his drawn up knees, avoiding her eyes.

"He's, uh, he's still sleeping," Axel mumbled. "I just-- I just wanted to get some fresh air."

Aerith prided herself in having a keen eye, able to see a problem and already be working on a solution before anyone else even noticed it. "Did something happen with Roxas?" By the way the grown man kept sulking like a child, she assumed she was right. A sting of trepidation ran through her and she cursed herself for being too optimistic, for letting herself see only the good in this equation for once. Being responsible for them, she felt guilty, felt to blame for whatever bump in the road happened between the two. Hopefully she could correct it before one or both of them continued digging their ditch. "Tell me what happened. Did you have a fight?"

Still he didn't answer; if anything Axel curled in on himself more, tensing up. She sighed. "I'm sure he didn't mean it Axel, Roxas can get ahead of himself sometimes and act immaturely. But I'm sure he's wishing he could take back whatever he said." When Axel scoffed she tried a different course. "And I'm sure you forgive him, right?"

Instead of answering her question, Axel's sharp green eyes shot towards her, and stated one of his own.

"Why do you treat Roxas like he's something precious? You don't give anyone else special treatment like that. Why?"

The smile fell from her face, the very last bit hanging on as small sad quirk of the lip. Her eyes were downcast. "…I'm not sure what to say. It's a long, long story. I'm sorry Axel," she stood up suddenly, wiping a hand across her eyes. "But it's also not mine to tell. Perhaps you shouldn't act like a child and ask him yourself if that's what's bothering you."

She lingered, watching her words sink into his thick skull but he lingered also, not even looking like he was about to run off to confront her ward. In fact he looked strictly opposite, as if he was actually dreading seeing the boy again. An awkwardness appeared on his features, just a little narrowing of the eyes and pursed frowning of the lips.

Then it clicked and she would have laughed if the situation were any different. "Did-did, um," she stumbled awkwardly around her words. "Did you and Roxas…." she made a vague gesture with her hands.

Axel stared at her, one brow coming up in question but he too had a keen eye and latched on to the faint pink blush on her cheeks and her awkward movement. Stunned, he flushed red, embarrassed, frantic, and stared intently at the grass at his feet. "I'm not, I'm not gay."

Aerith nodded even though he was purposely not looking at her, her eyes wide, overwhelmed. "I, I see," she breathed and still pursued the subject. "But what about Roxas? How do you think he's doing? I'm sure he's waking up, wondering where you are and having a miniature breakdown." It occurred to her that maybe _she_ should go find the blond but she dismissed it. _Axel_ would have to fix this mess as he encouraged it to happen. "If you feel weird just imagine what he's going through…"

Axel inhaled a deep breath, mind running wild now, guilty emotions rampant. Now he felt terrible, miserable. To him it was a crash course in homosexuality but to Roxas it was rejection, waking up in a cold bed…tent thing. It was a laugh in his face, an intentional stab to his heart. Roxas, who was nothing but nice and never, before last night, put him in any awkward position. He never made Axel feel anything but welcomed. Now Axel knew that was probably because the boy had a crush on him and had been suppressing his emotions the entire time.

Axel's eyes widened. It would explain why even after a few weeks he didn't have his own little circus looking tent and why Roxas was always so obliging. It would explain why the boy tried his hardest to get him a job, to integrate him into the system as fast as possible. It would explain why Roxas was always smiling that secret smile at him, eyes sparkling. It would explain why when the blond looked at him sometimes he felt there was an unnatural intensity to it. Because there _was_.

Roxas had a big fat man crush on him.

Axel would feel slightly flattered if he weren't freaking out so bad right now.

Because he and Roxas _humped_ each other last night. And he didn't know how to deal with that. They didn't give lectures on what to do if you make a _male_ friend while _undercover_ and sort of engage in _homosexual_ intercourse. He never, not once!, sat through something like that. But that was the thing they needed to fucking teach you. Because Axel needed to fucking know this shit, he needed to know what to do, he needed a plan now_, he needed to fix this._ He needed to stop freaking out and stop Roxas from freaking out as Aerith said he was.

He stood up, took in a deep breath and queasily looked Aerith in the eyes. "Um, I don't know the way back…" She beamed, told him to go straight down until the purple house and take a left and keep going.

He all but ran there, heart racing from the act as he stood a few feet away from the bright yellow cloth tent that'd been his home for the past few weeks, a few feet from the guy that put him in this position in the first place. He held no rage, just bland acceptance.

He nudged open the entrance, fabric feeling soft under his fingers.

Inside, Roxas was sitting up, blond hair sticking up more than usual, just staring down at his knees, a strange look on his face. As Axel cautiously stepped in, his head snapped up, bright blue eyes shooting his direction and widening as they saw him. His mouth fell open, shocked, stunned, and wordless, just staring at him. Little tears started forming in his crystal clear eyes, bubbling up but not spilling over.

"Hey," Axel said, nervously, stepping forward and closer to the teary-looking blond. He felt like he should coo and rub the young man's back as he made a choking little sob sounds, shoulders jerking at the act. As he neared, dropping to his knees and ready to apologize, say something to fix this and try to makes things go back to normal, Roxas wrapped his arms around the redhead's torso.

"I'm sorry," Roxas cried out, voice muffled against the redhead's tunic. "I'm sorry." Axel frowned, unsure of himself before placing a hand on Roxas's soft hair, petting slightly.

"Nooo," he cooed. "No. Don't, don't apologize, Roxas. I just…don't cry." Roxas's shoulders shook slightly, nose sniffling. He still clutched the back of his shirt with an iron grip. "It's okay, Rox. Really. I just wasn't sure about it is all," he laughed, an exasperated, nervous breath of laughter. It was almost as if he was trying to convince himself more than the other man. Axel's petting continued as the blond kept up his sniffles and whimpers and eventually the brightest blue eyes he'd ever seen looked up at him, eyes searching deep, soul deep. For a second Axel figured that it went deep enough to see his secrets, his ambitions, dreams, fears. Then another second passed and the idea floated away as the blue-eyed, blond haired boy, who smiled at him so brilliantly that day that seemed so long ago, a lifetime really, now looked at him with tears in his eyes and Axel thought he did a terrible wrong.

Something inside flip-flopped, clenched and hurt.

"It's nothing Rox, really. It's okay, you're okay. I didn't, I didn't," and he continued on like this, mumbling things that made little sense, Roxas soaking up every word of it. Soon, staring at his handsome teenage cliché face, Axel found himself _apologizing_, saying over and over that he was sorry, he didn't mean it, he didn't mean to leave, he was sorry.

He wrapped his own arms around the blonds' shoulders, pulling him closer to say these apologies, to try and really get it through, he was sorry, he was sorry, he was sorry, clutching the boy to him. He was sorry, he was sorry, he was sorry.

And soon it was Roxas holding him, petting down his hair and telling him, "It's okay, it's okay. I forgive you. It's okay, I forgive you. I forgive you.

I love you."

And eventually Roxas looked into his eyes, something behind them even now Axel wasn't able to identify and smiled that secret smile softly. "I'm tired," he said. "Lets sleep in today." And they did, Roxas holding on tight to him, clutching the back of his head to his collar, nuzzling the side of his head. Axel briefly tensed, unsure and wondering how he got to this point before relaxing, remembering that Roxas hurt harder than he, was more sensitive than he, and probably needed this more than he did.

He did admit, however, and only silently to himself, that it felt nice, to be held and hold in return. It felt nice, a good comfort, and he was glad Roxas gave it to him.

--

'_We investigated the clinic you spoke about Axel,' Zexion informed him. 'Open Hearts is a free clinic based in the city and is funded primarily out of the pocket of one Ansem Wise.'_

Axel's brow furrowed. 'He owns a clinic? Who has the money to do that?"

'_Apparently he does. The man has pretty deep pockets, Axel. The product of great-grandparents and grandparents and parents all working their asses off to build a fortune for their family. And so was Ansem, up until his wife Clarice was shot by a purse thief.'_

"That's exactly the story he told me," Axel said. "You have anything? Anything I should know about? A smear on his record?"

'_Nope, nope, and nope,' _Zexion stated, lips making a popping noise at the 'p'. _'The guy is clean. Devout catholic, doctor, worked pro bono jobs even prior to his wife's death, did a tour of Africa when he was younger. The only interesting thing about him is his wife's dieing and the fact that he basically dropped off the planet soon after.'_

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, tell me about his wife. What's her story?"

There was a flipping of papers in the background, the swooshing of the documents made him feel only slightly nostalgic. _'The late Clarice Wise, hmmm. Teenage debutant, Oblivion Academy graduate, slight activist, blond. Inherited a pretty penny. Maybe he could've had her killed?'_

The thought made Axel's stomach churn. "No, doesn't make sense. They were married, right? Wouldn't he have access to her accounts? How much would he have gotten if she died?"

'_Oh, just a few million,' _the agent informed him dryly. _'It says here they had separate bank accounts. Key word: had. Both have been cleaned out. The clinic runs primarily on a donation made years ago by Ansem. He gave close to two million before vanishing. Sold their homes around the world, boats and cars, and just vanished.' _

"Really?" Talk about being blindsided. Axel ran a hand through his hair, blowing out a held breath. Now if that wasn't suspicious Axel didn't know what was. But being suspicious doesn't make you a felon. "He make any more purchases? Say acres of country side land?"

'_He sure did,' _Axel could hear the slow growing smirk on his friend's face. _'One Sunshine Fields.'_

"Ah, Jesus. You think something weird is going down?"

'_You tell me Axel. You're the one who's been in contact with these people for the past three weeks, have YOU found anything suspicious? Any reason why we should keep you there any longer? The director is getting pretty antsy. If you don't find anything out soon we're pulling you out.'_

"Tell the director to shove it," he laughed. "I dunno, Zexion. I can't help but feel something is going on here sometimes. Something in the way they act around each other, just… I dunno, it's _too_ friendly. Wise keeps telling everyone all this stuff about loving each other and being accepting and hope and peace…I don't know what I know."

'_Sound pretty 'hippies living in the forest' to me. Any illegal activities?'_

"If there is, I don't see it. No one's getting high, and there aren't any mass orgies happening or maybe I'm just not being invited into the right parties," Axel laughed, joking. "There is nothing to back up Murkey's statement. Nothing. Everyone is healthy and happy."

'_And brainwashed?'_

"Not so much brainwashed as…" he fumbles around for the right word. "It's like a new religion thing. It's nothing different than what churches do."

There was static as Zexion sighed. _'Well, Ax. I don't know what to say. There's nothing keeping us from pulling you ou--'_

"Wait, wait! You can't…Listen, I just, I have a feeling. There's something under rug here. Let me figure it out and if it turns out to be nothing…Then we can call off the investigation and just put Sunshine Fields under surveillance, okay? I only need a week or two more."

'_A week or two?!' _the slate haired man made a choking noise, probably closing his mouth against any more outburst, trying to keep a calm state of mind_. 'Axel… Ok, I'll lobby around for more time.'_

"Thanks, Zexion. I appreciate it." The red haired man blew out a long breath, heart slowing down to a normal speed. "You have anything else for me?"

'_We got a hit on some of the names you mentioned. The female recruiter? Aeris? Her real name is Aerith Gainsborough. And guess what? She used to work with Ansem in Heart Hospital, left a month after he did. I suppose that she used Aeris as an alias while recruiting so people like us would look up the wrong woman.'_

"Huh," Axel said, even though he already assumed as much. "Anything on her?" He asked out of routine, not really curious at all. It felt a little wrong to be talking about her behind her back like this, given she was such a wonderful lady.

'_She's a nurse. Her husband died a while back, in a drunk driving accident. Apparently she was really out of it when she went back to work that she accidentally killed a patient.'_

"What? How do you accidentally kill someone?"

'_By grabbing the wrong needle,' _Zexion tsk-ed and Axel could almost see him shaking his head at the open manila folder he was reading. _'She was fired. Lucky she wasn't sued for everything she had.'_

"Damn."

'_And we found the man you mention. Cloud Strife. Surprisingly easy to find. He was mentioned in the same article about Aerith's husbands' death. Apparently, they were great friends. He went missing the same time Aerith did. Oh, here's a little interesting fact. They both emptied out their bank accounts before they left. Took everything with them. Listed as missing. So is Larxene Luce, Ansem of course, Penelo Flowers and Demyx Kazlik. Oh and that Roxas kid. Last three were all underage when they disappeared. Roxas Davis the youngest at sixteen.'_

"Yeah, well," Axel sniffed. "I found 'em."

'_Sure did. If you can get more names that would great. That way we can know who's there and solve a few missing person's while we're at it.'_

"Solve it but not report it right?" Axel narrowed his eyes at the thought, shaking his head at the idea that these people's whereabouts were being catalogued for future reference and not being reported immediately. Nevertheless, that was how it went sometimes. Axel could go on and on and on about how many secret organizations they knew about and yet kept under wraps, waiting for the opportune moment to strike.

Zexion sighed, a weary sigh that he used when he felt morals were being broken. _'You know how it is.'_

Axel did. Even after he flicked off his wire, telling Zexion to say hi to his dad for him, he thought about how well he fucking knew. Roxas was right, he mused, the people in control did go out of their way to prolong pain and suffering as long as it would prolong their job. They knew about it all, so why didn't they immediately do something about it? Years of training and working under the watchful eyes of management answered him back, giving perfectly sound reasons that sounded right but didn't settle the uneasy feel he'd been having recently, didn't make him happy at all recently.

Ever since Roxas said those things he did. The young man pushed all the right buttons, said all the right things and now whatever ideas Axel had about his job were diminishing, like sand through his fingers. He couldn't help but think of all the things they let happen, all of the things they knew of, people they could stop, and lives they could have saved if they just acted on principle and not by protocol.

--

Xigbar Adams is a man who once had everything he'd ever needed. A good paying- if dangerous- job that wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. The most beautiful woman for a wife, who smiled so wide when he came home, laughed at his every joke even when it wasn't too funny. And a little angel for a child.

He knew from experience that when you had it all it eventually ran like sand through your finger tips.

Tonight he drank, straight whiskey in his cup, to drown his old sorrows once again and quiet new ones. It was against regulations, against protocol, but he was a soldier, a veteran who'd seen too many things, and people learned to turn a blind eye. He drank to forget, remember, and forget again. He drank in liquid to drown regret, to wash away the stone in his gut, the heaviness in his heart. He drank remorsefully, knowing he would pay for it in the morning but knowing that for now the pros outweighed the cons.

Xigbar could easily shift the scale if need be…but usually only so later that night would have a semi-clear conscience when he lifted the bottle to his lip. And it didn't even matter anymore if it was a good day or not. When he got home (if the apartment could even be called a 'home'. 'Home' had been dead for years) he would just open a new bottle, kick his feet up and start the night by raising the full bottle(by the end of the night it wouldn't have a drop left) up to his lips.

It didn't matter anymore if life was good or if it was bad. If he had a fantastic day (never happened anymore), it was the same as a horrible, haunting day. It made no difference.

By now, he could almost forget what it was like to have everything he ever wanted. A wife, a daughter, a backyard with a dog. A team that was more like a family, something like a father again, this time to three boys. And he could nearly forget what it was like to have it taken away, the rug pulled from under you, a train derailing, a single gunshot.

He knew what it was like and he felt sympathetic to his young ward for losing a friend to unfortunate circumstances. And he felt the heaviness inside him grow a bit heavier, knowing he was losing yet another one, this time not to the reaper but to distance, she leaving for 'Some time off' that he gave her, going to her friend's funeral. He figured she wouldn't want to come back.

He felt a twist in his gut, the feeling dulled by several gulps of good whiskey. Axel was gone too, on a mission, unknowing of his friend's turmoil, unknowing of the fact his father was in Germany, touching the Berlin Wall. Regulation, protocol. He couldn't know; it would interfere with the mission. Regulation, protocol. It was better if he didn't know for now. It was better that he thought everything was fine and everyone was dandy. It was better that he be completely blindsided when he got back, Xigbar bitterly thought. It was better you not know or your mission, the bureau, would suffer.

It was better you nearly miss your families funeral, better you be the last person to say goodbye, better you see her for the last time just moments before she was put in the ground forever, gone, just like that. It was better he go home an hour later to an empty house, even the damn dog gone, and see cookies still on the counter, homework on the table, the television flickering on to Cartoon Network, to her favorite show.

It was better he not know, for the sake of the mission, and he drank until it sounded right.

He drank and he drank and he drank and he drank until he was drunk, forgetting why he was drinking in the first place.

--

Zexion never had everything he wanted, hardy knew what he wanted in the first place, concentrated more on necessities and little things like grabbing a carton of sorbet and calling that a treat. It was more like he didn't really want anything at all, content to just float by.

In fact, the only thing he ever really went after vigorously was becoming an agent. And Lexaeus, but that came to him rather than the other way around.

He briefly thought of this on the way to Kairi's, thinking about how he hadn't really lived at all and wondering what people would say about him when he died. 'He was an okay agent.' 'He had several plants and a cat named Paco.' 'He liked movies?' Zexion frowned, dissatisfied and worried that that would be what was actually said.

Who would cry if he died?

As he idled in front of her apartment building, lost in thought, Kairi shuffled out, dressed out of the sweats she'd been wearing recently and in simple light jeans and a pink shirt. She was carrying a heavy looking suitcase.

She looked very tired. Tired and sad.

"Hey, Zex," she murmured, eyes downcast. "Where should I put this?" The redhead gestured to her suitcase.

"Oh! Shit. Here, let me get that for you," he rushed to say, climbing out of his car and taking her bag, even as she lightly laughed and told him she _is_ an agent, she could lift a freakin' bag. She sighed as she relaxed into the passenger seat, closing her eyes. "Thanks for doing this," she said. "I really appreciate it."

"No problem," he absently as he checked the roads and pulled out, eyes flickering to her for a second. "I'm happy to do it." Kairi made a noncommittal noise, looking out the window as the Twilight City flashed by.

They were going to the airport. Kairi had bought a one-way ticket for today, the plane leaving the gate at 3:20, arriving two hours later in the eternally warm Destiny Isle. From what he understood, Sora's funeral was in three days. He would have a closed casket memorial service.

Briefly, he remembered Lexaeus's funeral. The first thing he noticed was that they cleaned his fingernails, how waxy his skin looked. And how _hard_ his skin felt under his fingers. Like rock. At least she wouldn't have to go through that… At least… Zexion sighed, concentrating more closely on the road. He didn't know what he knew.

Only that it was unpleasant.

"Have you heard from Axel?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah, I talked to him last night."

"How is he? Is he okay?"

Zexion thought. Axel _sounded_ okay. Didn't _seem_ to be acting weird. Gave a good report. "Yeah, he seems fine. Hasn't really found anything. We, however, have located a bunch of missing persons. I'm sure there are a lot more too. Axel's working on a list for us."

Kairi nodded, a little furrow developing in her brow. "Okay… Just… Just make sure he's okay as he says he is, alright? Please?"

He hesitated, shooting her a look through his long fringe. He really needed a haircut. "Um…Yeah. Yeah I'll make sure."

"I know you think I'm crazy for even suggesting it but," she shook her head sadly, eyes watering a bit as she sniffled. "It's just…Sora, my friend. He…he lost it. On an undercover mission. In was in deep, really deep, in a mob back in the Isle. I know I joked lightly about it before but… He really was _brainwashed_. He held things from us until the last second. Sora didn't want to stop the mission. I think he actually started liking it there, liked the people. It's not on record but Sora did things for them," she shook her head, running a hand through her hair. "He killed people. He picked up drugs, guns, and delivered them and he never told us. It was as if he really was part of the gang. We had to literally pull him out.

"If you saw the look on his face when he was told Razzara was dead… I had no doubt in that moment that he wanted to die too. I know, I know. Axel and Sora are different people but…It's a reality. It happens. I want you to at least think about it, okay? You could save Ax a bunch of heartache and headaches."

He was quiet then, soaking in this information with wide eyes. _So that's what happened. _He chewed on the inside of his lip as he considered her words. Sure, agents turned bad. There was a faction devoted to uncovering these people. It was just unreal that someone you actually knew could do so, could be a traitor. _Did Axel say anything that could've hinted as such? _He ran though his mental list of things he and the undercover agent talk about and started ruling them out in the silence that ruled the car, all the way to the airport and all the way back home without finding anything that really zapped out at him.

He briefly wondered what Lex would have thought.

---

Over the past few days, Roxas told him lots of things. Even more than he usually did, he went out of his way to tell stories, parables, with meanings and reasons behind them, all told to try to make a point. Trying to tell him everything he hadn't before.

"The world out there," Roxas started one day, expression forlorn. "It chock full of people who mean you harm. And so little are there to actually help you along, to love you and care for you. People who say they mean no harm and will turn on you; betray you at a seconds notice or even with no notice. Do you understand what I'm saying? Does that make sense?"

Or; "One time, when I was still living in the streets," he said later, sadness in his voice, caressing a bright red flower gingerly. "I got mugged. I didn't have anything on me…so the guy just punched me hard and threw me into some alley…after I woke up I just wandered again. I must have looked really bad because this cop came up and started asking me questions, all worried." He smiled bitterly. "He seemed so nice, so tender. I trusted him, if only because he wore a uniform. I thought those people were supposed to help you, regardless.

"I guess I learned my lesson. As soon as I told him I lived nowhere, was selling myself to anyone who would pay, his face got real hard. He looked like he was sick, he wouldn't meet my eyes…"

"And what happened?" Axel found himself asking, slight indignant that someone could be so cruel, so bigoted toward someone who obviously needed help.

"Nothing. He did nothing. It was like he couldn't get away faster." The blonds blue eyes searched his. "Can you believe that? How could someone be so cruel?" Axel had no answer, just a clenching of jaw as he angrily thought about it, cursing the cop repeatedly in his head.

And one time right before he drifted off to sleep; "Axel?"

"Hmmwha?"

"Do you believe in destiny?"

"I believe that we make choices that eventually lead us to the place we would be anyway."

"…So…you do?"

A laugh. "I suppose I do."

Then Roxas squirmed on over to Axel's side, the closest he'd been since that night, and laid his head on the redhead's shoulder. He didn't do anything else. Just laid there, weight of his head eventually numbing Axel's shoulder. "I think it was fate that I met you," he whispered. "I believe that God made it so we would meet, so that our choices would lead us _here_…. Do you think that's stupid?"

Axel said nothing for a long while, silence seemingly overwhelming everything that existed in that moment. For a long time he didn't speak, didn't move, didn't even flick his eyes over to where Roxas waited patiently. And then, when Roxas had begun to think that Axel had fallen asleep, he moved. One hand cupped the back of the blonde's head, lifting him as the Axel turned to face his direction, chin resting just above his head and his other arm thrown over him loosely. He said nothing for a long, long time. Only after Roxas was asleep did he mutter, "Maybe, maybe not."

There were a few other nights like that; Roxas scooting over to just be close to him, keeping his hands mostly to himself. Moreover, Axel found he really had no problem with it, took a little bit of comfort in the weight on his shoulder, or the warm breath on his neck, or the blond hair tickling his face. He couldn't remember the last he could just _hold_ someone. Just hold them…

He still didn't think he was _gay_ but… he didn't push Roxas away when he leaned forward real slow like, eyes on his the entire time, and pushed their lips together gently, softly, just a brush of skin on skin before it was over and Roxas went back to the plant he was messing with and Axel eventually continued misting next him.

He didn't push Roxas away any of the four other times he did as such.

And the fifth time…he couldn't think about the fifth time, could only briefly remember _Roxas's hand sliding down his skin, thumb rubbing circles at his hipbone, before dipping down and Axel gasped, threw his head back and gasped, gripping _before he had to take a deep breath and shake himself out of it.

And Roxas never seemed bothered by what was-- what they were-- about-- _it_. He just continued on like normal, but, and maybe it was just him, Roxas seemed to touch him more, lay a hand on his more, brush up against him more, and smile at him a little differently. A knowing smile, maybe. A sly smile. The secret smile a lot more, but Axel called it by a different name lately. It was an adoring smile.

Any thought that he might had that this was weird, this was strange, something was going on, was diluted by that adoring smile. He hardly noticed that he wasn't taking as many notes as he should be, hardly tried to listen in on conversations, looking for clues. He didn't question the things Roxas said, about the outside world, about how everyone hated each other and here was the only haven from that, the only sanctuary. He listened, really heard what the blond was saying, mentally thinking about the things he knew of that actually coincided.

But there wasn't really a right, a wrong. There was just moments in the day when he looked at Roxas and Roxas looked at him and Axel didn't want to be anywhere else in the world.

Of course, this later made him feel extremely guilty, thinking of his friends, his father, his mother. He wondered how they were doing and felt a twist in his stomach for not knowing.

One night, after _Roxas dipped his tongue down, licking experimentally at the tip his length, heard Axel's moans and saw his burning bright green eyes staring down at him, and took him in his mouth; Axel watching with a dry mouth as he disappeared bit by bit _Axel felt the twist, felt a pang of guilt and worry. Roxas, staring at him in a satisfied calm as _he guided Axel's hand to him, biting his tongue as the man's fingers brushed his erection, Axel staring like a adorable idiot, confused but game, running a finger hesitantly up and own, Roxas moaning and rocking hips, _noticed the change in mood.

"What's wrong?" He asked, sitting up on his forearms so he could better look at the man, his lover. "You look weird… Are you okay?" The grimace stuck to Axel's lips in a down ward curve, arm flung over his eyes. The blond idly placed a kiss on his wrist. Axel opened his mouth a few times but closed it almost immediately afterwards, unsure. "What are you thinking about?"

For a long, long time he said nothing, Roxas eventually leaning his head on the man's chest, bobbing up and down in time with his breathing. Axel fought, warring inside himself, worried and fretted and dismissed and thought about it again and again and again until he made up his mind and started talking.

"I feel guilty," he stated slowly, feeling Roxas move to look at him. "I feel awesome," he laughed. "And then I feel terrible. I feel so guilty." Axel removed his arm from his face, stared right into blue, blue eyes. "I feel like I'm not supposed to feel awesome. At all. I don't think I'm supposed to feel this way."

Roxas stared, blinking, unsure of what to say, what to do. He settled for kissing Axel's nose. "I love you. I don't care if I'm not supposed to, actually, I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to," he stated, looking down at emerald eyes muddled with emotions that shouldn't be there. "Just do what makes you happy. I make you happy right? You're happy right?" Axel nodded, still frowning a bit. "Then who cares. Why shouldn't you be happy? Who can stop you from being happy? No one. No one can and no one should and no one would."

Axel closed his eyes. "I…" he paused, gathered his thoughts together. "My mom was in a car crash," he said. "She was hit by a drunk driver… Whenever I feel great and happy like this…I just think of her and I think of all the things she's missed out on, I wonder what she would say, and I think about how she'll never know. And how she'll never have another happy moment like the ones I have. And I just feel so guilty. Why should I be happy when she can never be again? I don't think it's fair…"

During his speech, Roxas had pulled Axel to him, planting an almost nonexistent kiss to his forehead. He knocked their foreheads together, closing his eyes. "I am so sorry, Axel. I'm so sorry. I…I," he hugged Axel a fraction of his harder. "But I think she would want you to be happy. I think she would hate it if you ran around miserable all the time in remembrance of her. That's not the way to go. You don't have to live that way."

_You don't have to live this way. _

_You don't have…. to live this way…_

_You don't… have to…_

_You don't…_

_You don't._

And before Axel knew what was happening Roxas was kissing away fresh tears, hot on his face. They just kept coming and coming; little shakes and chokes accompanying them. Roxas murmured comforting things, petting down his hair and stroking his face. He didn't quite know why he was crying, only felt the clench in his heart and felt the familiar tightness in his throat. He gripped Roxas to him, burying his snotty nose into the soft fabric of his tunic. He sobbed, like he hadn't done in ages, at least not outside the general Roxas-area. He hadn't cried about his mother for a long, long time. It became pointless and he tired of tears.

He kept it inside, bottled in, and screwed the cork in tight.

And it felt good, he absently thought, tears all dried up and Roxas's fingers in his hair. It felt good to cry, exhausting, but good.

"When did your mother die?" The blond hesitantly whispered, worried if it was right to ask.

Axel looked at him, eyes red, making his green irises even brighter than usual. He looked battle weary, bone tired. He blinked. "Six years ago…" Roxas nodded, frowning sympathetically and laying his head down again. Until he fell asleep Axel wondered about his answer and realized that she really was dead…

And he felt nothing in thinking that, only a dull ache that he named acceptance.

* * *

Hey there! Long time no new chapter. just btw the project i was working on turned out pretty beastly, i'm so proud of it. Got a 100%!! =O Yaaaay! and yay for more little clipettes of pr0n. BTW, Roxy and Sora/Sky are like seventh cousins four times removed. they don't know eachother at all, but someone reviewed a looong time ago with something long the lines of 'if you connect sora and rox together, theres one big circle!!' and i thought it was a fabulous idea but i hadn't a place to put it before this. Soooo yeah. in the last chapter of SB i said end date would be november.....noooot gonna happen. maybe december or early jan.

Have you guys seen the blog for Terrible Yellow Eyes? Its for the book and movie Where The Wild Things Are and a whole bunch of really awesome artists post in with their WTWTA artworks. its very cool, check it out if you have the time. aaaaaand as another goodie for you guys, the fic Blond Ambition by sephcounttheways. it hasn't been updated for a few months but its epic. if you like me you'll _worship_ the ground this chick(i think its a chick at least) walks on. seriously. go read it. its set in ff7, not KH though. and its seph/cloud in a way i've never seen them written before. I love it. I think i favorited it... so theres if you want theres a pretty easy to get to link.

As always, drop me a line if you can, make up a fake username and click that little green rectangle, k? I 3 U!! Bye bye!


	10. Chapter 10

It's shorter than normal. But HAPPY READING ANYWAYS.

* * *

CULT

If there was one thing Xigbar Adams absolutely detested about his government job, it was talking to the Director. He always went in dreading it and came out in such a foul mood that not one person in his team would make a mistake, fearing the misguided anger Adams was known to show afterwards. He could only grit his teeth so much and meetings with the Director used up _all_ of his patience.

In his own personal opinion Director Xemnas Esparza was a sadistic son of a bitch with a superiority complex to rival a kings'.

But he kept this to himself….most days.

"It has come to my attention that a field agent is being paid for undercover work… when in fact it more like he's on vacation," the Director loftily said, piercing gaze fixed to a large screen in front of him that showed a very busy street in what appeared to be New York if Xigbar wasn't mistaken. He wondered what the Director was watching for and if he himself would see it. With his one good eye he glared a hole into the back of the man's head.

"Sir," Zexion started for him, running interference for him. "Most agents gain valuable information when undercover in that environment. And sometimes a docile environment is actually quite dangerous."

Esparza cocked his head the slightest fraction, either considering Zexion's words or the brawl that just broke out on the screen. A young man swiveled in his chair to look at the Director for an order. Xemnas nodded absently. "That would be a good point Agent Gray if, however, Agent O'Hara had found said valuable information and if your own reports mentioned anything that indicated violence. Both have not. So tell me, special agent Adams, why Agent O'Hara is continuing his investigation." It was not a question, but an order. It felt like a kick in the nuts and Adams felt his upper lip twitch in a sneer.

"Axel is following his gut, Director. He believes that there is something lurking underneath the façade the cult has. And he wants to look into that until all doubt is cleared. It won't do the bureau good if he over looks something major, now would it?"

"If there is indeed anything to find."

"Well that's what he's trying to find out isn't he?"

Esparza flicked his amber eyes to his direction before returning to the screen. The brawl had ended and the street dispersed into only a handful of people who were being padded down by agents. "Special agent Adams, do you have something you want to say? I'm detecting some hostility."

Xigbar gritted his teeth and envisioned smacking him over the head…with a bat. "No."

"I want results, if he finds nothing by the time he checks in again," he turned to look at the two men coldly. "Pull him. I don't care about his 'gut' if he can not find anything to back it up."

"Yes sir," the two agents said dutifully. With a small flick of his tanned hand Xemnas dismissed him, golden eyes completely immersed with the scene in front of him. As soon as the heavy doors closed shut, Adams let out a frustrated breath from his nose, sounding an awful lot like a mad bull. He walked swiftly to the elevator, Zexion following quickly behind him.

As the metal door closed together, Adams let out s stream of curses, looking at the younger man with an very pissed off face, snarling. "God, I hate that asshole."

--

Apparently you were allowed to take day's off from your appointed job and apparently Roxas abused this privilege.

"It's not like I never do anything," Roxas explained. "I mean, you've seen me work. I nearly always go in and do my stuff but sometimes I just like a day to relax and sit in the sun and really do nothing ya know?"

"Like a weekend," Axel replied, also taking a day off and fearing the consequences when he saw Tifa later.

Roxas beamed. "Exactly! A weekend. Everyone needs a weekend. When you think about it that way I actually do a lot of work! I never take two days off in a row every week and I only take one day off every once in awhile so its sort like I _deserve_ a day off. That's how I see it at least."

"Considering how much overtime you put in," Axel chucked, stretching backwards and flopping down onto the grass. "I would say you deserve it as well."

The younger man laid beside him, turned on his side to face him, hand holding up his head. "You know what?"

"Hmmm?"

"I think you're cute," Roxas giggled, pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead. Axel smiled shyly, opening his eyes to peek out at him. The sky was baby blue behind him but paled in comparison to Roxas's own blue eyes, which looked like clear aquamarine today. Blond hair moved slightly in the wind, leftward spikes looking soft to the touch and even softer when Axel ran his hand through them, stopping at the back of his head to pull him for a deeper kiss. When Axel broke the kiss he whispered, grinning, "Hey you know what?"

"What?"

"I think you're cute too." Roxas hummed, fondly smiling at him and setting his head down on Axel's shoulder. They laid there for hours or minutes, comfortable in the quietness of each other, in the gentle breeze, soft grass below them and warm sun beaming happily down at them. Roxas was the one to break it, speaking suddenly when Axel was sure he fell asleep.

"You know why it's called Sunshine Fields?" Axel grunted a negative, eyes closed against the sun's bright light. "The sun is a symbol of life. Life and renewal, rebirth. Nothing on this planet could really exist without it, ya know? It's the life source. And since we don't go by the contemporary rules of the world and instead live how everyone used to and completely reject that lifestyle…It's sort of like a rebirth. Like you were granted a new life.

"The Wise Man explained it this one time, I think he said something along the lines of, ah, let's see, um…Something like years and years go, centuries ago, people used to be really scared when the sun would set and the night would begin because they never knew if it would rise again. They thought bad thing ruled the night, that they thrived in the night and…. that's kind've true to this day. A lot of bad stuff goes down in the dark….

Roxas paused in his speech, probably thinking of all of the things he ran into during the night. Axel as well was remembering drug dealers, murderers, rapists. So many things Roxas could have bumped into…"But anyway, so The Wise Man went on to say that they thought it was a blessing that the sun would rise again and it symbolized the light, good, defeating the dark, the evil. That even when it seemed the night would last forever those rays of the sun would start shining through and when you gave up all hope it would be light again, everything would be fine again.

"Ansem thinks that world is in a stage of dark right now and that we must persevere until all of the evil is gone again. That we ourselves would be those few rays of light shining, a ray of hope and peace. Thus 'Sunshine Fields'. Like…this is the place where the sun reigns, you know?"

"The Children of The Sun," Axel supplied absently.

"Exactly. We are the Children of Light itself, of good and righteousness. I dunno, I just thought it was something cool you might like to know. It's interesting huh?"

"Yeah…" Axel said though he slightly remembered reading a rendition of the same words a long, long time ago, the details mostly blur when Roxas snuggled up against him kissing his jaw and the corner of his upturned mouth.

---

When Sunday came and Ansem cleared his throat to make his weekly speech Axel turned just like every one else, stopping his conversation in turn for listening interestedly.

"My fellow Brothers and Sisters. It has come to the near end of this month and closing in on the beginning of another. It seems that in my old age the days are like minutes and the months are hours," Ansem chuckled, good natured snickers emitting from the group. "And with every beginning of the month our family grows with the addition of new blood, new Brothers and new Sisters to welcome in.

"Every time I stand here before you I am reminded of when there were only a handful of people listening to me and now knowing that my family has grown from four to more than two hundred makes me tear up. The fact that my mission and ideals of life has reached out to so many and touched even more makes every day worth living. The thought that my life may have helped a few made every misstep worth it. Every obstacle I have been through led me here and while I sometimes wish my dear wife could be stand next me…" Ansem let out a long sigh.

"But I know that her loss was not in vain and her loss of life gave others new ones. I'm sure that she is smiling down on us, joyful in what I have done and the new lives you have chosen for yourselves. And now the time has come to go forth and find new brothers and new sisters," the wise man gestured to right, to the area where Axel sat with all of his and Roxas's friends.

"I trust Aerith will do a good a job on bringing home deserving people as she always has and as for her accompanying Sister I have chosen Yuffie for I believe she will put as much effort into finding the faithful as she does everything else she set her mind on."

Behind him, Yuffie gasped, clutching her chest with wide eyes, smile unbelieving and wide. Axel, along with literally everyone else, gave her a congratulatory smile. Ansem went on to say more about it, how he expected everyone to welcome them with open arms no matter what sort o past they might have. No matter what sins or wrongs they might have committed, they deserved the second chance and deserved the chance to do right.

Axel didn't quite now why he even had to say that, remembering how everyone was when he first came here, how polite they were even after a week or two. They simply would be welcoming even if Ansem didn't say anything, it was simply how they were.

"Roxas," Axel started as everyone began to disperse, Ansem's speech about love and forgiveness ended. "Why does Aerith always go to find more people? Didn't she go last time?"

"Oh, Aerith always goes. It's her thing. She goes alone or with two or three people but she goes. It's sort of tradition. Back when Sunshine Field was only about four strong she did it and she just kept doing it. And thank goodness," Roxas sighed, placing his hand over his chest. "I don't know about anyone else but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be alive if she didn't do it with such passion."

The thought made Axel's skin itch, queasy at the thought of Roxas being another body on the streets of Twilight City, being buried unnamed in state provided soil, no one to cry over him, or pray for him. He was immensely thankful toward the loving woman, blessing her warm heart and compassion. "Yeah…" the redhead said, smiling thinly. "Me too."

Roxas, maybe just now realizing the depth of his words, smiled sadly back. "But you know, that's the thing about Aerith. Anything she's ever done she's done with as much compassion as possible. She's always been giving, even before she came here. She used to be a nurse and she used to do a lot of pro bono stuff for clinics and stuff like that. She's truly a saint."

"Yeah…She seems like a very--motherly woman," the redhead amended, thinking about how caring she was around Roxas and all of the other members.

The younger man nodded sadly. "She really is. Sometimes I wish she got the chance for a happy ending just because she really deserves one, ya know?" Wincing, Axel suddenly remembered his conversation about Aerith with Zexion, about her tragedy but Roxas didn't notice, instead he was watching the stars glisten above them. "Ya see. Aerith's husband died in a drunk driving accident, stupid jerk got drunk during the middle of the day and crashed right into him and caused another car to do so as well. Zack died within seconds of the second crash so I guess that's the one mercy of it." Roxas smiled sadly.

Axel sighed, nodding. "You can only ever hope for that."

Roxas bumped his shoulder, eyes sympathetic and caring, twining their fingers together as they walked home.

---

"Ahh! Penelo! You look pregnanter and pregnanter every day," Roxas cooed, squatting down to murmur baby talk into her stomach. It was true, Penelo's stomach looked like a balloon about to pop. _She_ looked like she was about to pop.

"Yeah… due any day now. _Literally_," she laughed, looking overwhelmed. "I feel like I'm going to burst."

Roxas beamed at her, giggling excitedly. "Ahh, wow. Are you excited?! I'm excited!"

"I'll be more excited when Vaan gets home. I don't want to go into labor without him." Roxas nodded wisely, rubbing her stomach gingerly. Axel sat cross legged, bored. They were sitting around aimlessly after dinner, the flames of the campfire going on the last few sticks. It was more gossip and chat time than anything. He wondered who Vaan was and if he's the father of the baby. He was about to ask when Demyx rushed over, pushing Roxas out of the way to press his ear against her belly. The two fought, playfully pushing each other around before Aerith called them out, gently scolding and they ran away childishly.

Axel watched with a adoring look, shaking his head fondly before turning to Penelo who was looking at the two men longingly while patting her stomach. "So…waiting until the dad's here, huh? That's sweet. Where is he?"

"Oh, Vaan's out herding… he's been gone for the past month or so. He didn't want to but…" she shrugged. "He had to. He'll be home soon." Then she cocked her pigtailed head at him, frowning softly while she absently stroked her stomach. "But, uh…"

"Hm?"

"Oh…never mind…. How are you and Roxas? Lookin' pretty cozy," she grinned. "I hope you two stay together. I like Roxas better when he's in love."

Axel sputtered, growing red in the face. Penelo laughed. "Oh, come on, Red. It's not like it's a secret. We knew from the second you stepped foot here that Roxas was obsessed with you. It's okay," she stressed. "It's cool. Like I said Roxas is more happy when he's in love and not all gloomy and, well, kinda depressing. Ya know what I mean? But…I guess you don't," Penelo laughed, face rosy. "I guess you'll never have to know. Lucky you!"

"Penelo!" Roxas roared as he appeared suddenly, face pouty. "Are you talking about me?"

"Of course because my life revolves around you, Rox."

"Awww. I always had my suspicions but it's nice to know it's true. Thanks doll face. Though I hope Vaan won't get made at me."

"Don't worry about him. It's Ashe you gotta worry about. She'll punch you out! Ashe is my big sister," Penelo explained, brightening. "She's also out herding. She the queen of all the herders. But don't tell Vaan I said that. He gets really, really mad," she whispered, putting a finger to her lips in a 'shush' motion.

"Mad as in will sulk in a corner for a few hours until you take the bait and then he'll whine for _hours_," Roxas dryly said. "But I guess that's just how kids are nowadays."

"Don't call us kids. You're only three years older than us!"

"And yet I have reached a maturity level much beyond yours," Roxas sniffed, looking snide.

Axel laughed, watching as the two blondes continued to bicker over nothing. Eventually Demyx came back and then all three of them starting in on each other. By the time the fire dwindled Axel learned that Demyx was severely frightened of spiders, Penelo wanted to name the baby Ashe 2 or Reks, and that he and Roxas were the 2nd cutest couple, before Balthier and Francesca but second to a man named Tidus and his long time lover Yuna. And Cloud and Leon (whenever they stopped being jerks) would take fourth.

Walking back to their shared home, Roxas was in a great mood, giggling and sharing more stories about funny little things, holding his hand as they navigated the maze of tents. Axel laughed, smiling fondly at him the whole time. Roxas pushed a short lock of hair out his eyes as they neared his yellow home. "I'm really glad you like my friends," he said.

"Hey, I'm just glad they like me. I don't wanna know what Penelo would do if she didn't. Is Ashe really such a bruiser?"

"No," Roxas rolled his eyes. "She's tough but she'll only be mean if you deserve it ya know? And Vaan usually deserves it, so…"

"Are those stories Penelo told are true? About them on the street?"

"Yup. They grew up together in an orphanage, got looked over a lot by the system. We invited Vaan and he took Penelo with him. They've never been apart since…"

"Yeah…He sounds like a good kid…. I'm sure he'll be a good dad to their kids but I am a little shocked to hear two seventeen year old kids are having kids, you know? It's crazy…" Roxas slowed in his steps, prompting Axel to stop and look back at him. The boy was biting on his lower lip, brows furrowed. "…What is it?"

"Don't take this the wrong way but…Vaan isn't the baby's father… Probably. Most likely not," Roxas widened his eyes, grimacing at how the words sounded coming out of his mouth. They sounded…strange. Now that he thought about it…no one ever talked about it much, just accepted it and moved on.

Axel was looking confused and curious so he added, babbling nervously, "It's probably The Wise Man's but Penelo isn't so sure and Vaan was really exited to hear she was pregnant so we just call it their child since it sort of will be anyway but I just wanted to tell you so you would be in the loop and wouldn't accidentally cause any weird situations in the future, you know? Not that the situation is all that weird since a few girls have been with The Wise Man but, uh, I mean ignorance might be bliss but it'll be weird to explain if Vaan was in the room so I just wanted to tell you in advance so that wouldn't happen."

"Roxas…" Axel dropped his hand, features contorted into something Roxas's hadn't seen until now. Eyes narrowed and jaw tight, Axel looked like a who other person.

"What?" Roxas asked hesitantly, nervous, trepidation curling in his stomach. "What's that look on your face?"

"It's called suspicion and _confusion_ Roxas," Axel chewed out, taking a step back and licking his lips. His brain was trying to send all sorts of signals, ringing bells but he ignored to try to put the right words together. "Wha--what's going on? I _know_ there's something under the surface here. Don't…don't pretend everything is all fine and dandy when it's not. Something is wrong here. The way people act sometimes…" Axel trailed off, shaking his head at the dark sky.

"How do they act Axel? I thought I explained this to you…" Roxas said slowly, nervous, cautious smile quirking up his lips but he didn't feel like smiling. Axel looked at him with hard eyes, mouth a fine line. He didn't feel like smiling either.

"Explain what? What have you explained? Have you explained why Penelo had sex with Ansem? Why apparently a lot of people do? Have you explained why people treat you like a fragile little bird, always stepping around you? Have you explained why people never say anything about it? You haven't told me anything!"

"Well, have you asked? Have you even asked me about any of those things?"

"I'm asking you now!"

Roxas glared, frustrated at Axel's statements. "For your information I told you about Penelo so you can't even say that."

"Well Roxas you never explained why he's taking advantage of his followers. Penelo is seventeen!"

"She knew full well of what she was doing! Ansem would _never_ take advantage of her, or anyone else! He gave us all a home, Axel. Penelo just wanted to give him something back for everything he'd done for her. That's all this is, all its ever been. Am I taking advantage of you? Or you of me?"

"You're not a fifty year old man Roxas. And I'm not a pretty seventeen year old girl. It's _illegal_ to do that," Axel shot back, gesturing wildly, eyes in a rage.

Roxas shook his head, taking a few claming breaths, he turned, entering his home while he replied. "Legal, illegal. The laws of the outside world aren't right or just Axel. You know that. I've told you that. Everyone has. Penelo wanted to do this. And so he's older, so what? He's lonely, he misses his wife. And the girls take away some of that loneliness. It's not as bad as you think it is. The Wise Man would never do anything to hurt any of us, in fact he'd do anything to keep potential hurt _away_ from us."

"And if _he's_ the one causing hurt?"

"He's not! Ansem has done nothing but help us…" Roxas looked hurt. "You should know that… especially since I…I…" The blond cult member sighed, plopping down and putting his face in his hands. He let out a groan. "I should have told you…augh, I'm so stupid!"

Axel paused, not expecting that response at all. After a short moment passed of which Roxas gently massaged his forehead he hesitantly asked, "Tell me what?"

He sighed. "Ansem…Ansem is a prophet Axel. He sees stuff… The future, feelings, hurt, pain, danger. The God above sends him messages that he replays to us… I should have told you this sooner, but I'd been so caught up in--in," Roxas laughed. "Well, in YOU. I should have told you…you would have understood this whole thing better. Ansem is the sole person keeping away the harm, keeping away people who don't have good intentions. If it wasn't for him we would be swimming in the unfaithful, the evil. _I should have told you…"_

"Told me what?!" Axel exploded, head full of stuff he wasn't so sure of.

"I should know better than anyone here that Ansem only has our best intentions in mind. He tries his hardest to find the evil in people…" Roxas sighed. "But sometimes they slip past him… I should know," he whispered into the crook of his arm.

Axle deflated, anger evaporating at his somber tone. He knew it. _He knew it_. But why wasn't he feeling very triumphant? His gut felt like it just dropped a thousand feet, unease taking hold of his heart. Oh god. "What happened?"

"His name was John. John Murkey."

Axel's mind froze, eyes wide at the familiar name. He couldn't get it, didn't understand what his brain was trying to imply. It was all too unreal and yet too real. He felt a cool night breeze and knew that no, he wasn't in a dream, and yes this was really happening. Roxas cocked his head at Axel's strange response but continued, further destroying any hopeful thought that even tried to blossom in Axel's mind.

"He…He was one of the bad ones. You never know about people," Roxas laughed, averting his eyes. "Not until it's too late…"

"Wha--what. What did he do?" Axel croaked out, voice raw.

Roxas looked up, looked so innocent and pure and lovely that Axel didn't want to know. He felt the answer could only be bad or worse.

"He…He tried to--to," Roxas choked on his own words, squeezing his eyes shut. He'd come to terms with this, he was over it, he'd accepted it and moved on. He'd moved on, found Axel, his soul mate. Everyone here loved him, looked out for him, cared about him, would do anything for him, everyone loved him. "He tried to rape me."

Axel couldn't even speak.

"It was late at night and I was leaving Aerith's. Alone. I never thought there was any reason to fear the night…not anymore. Not since I'd gotten here. I thought it was safe that everyone was truly my brother and wouldn't even think to hurt me.

"I learned later from a talk with Ansem that evil has a place in everyone's heart. Darkness lurking in the depths. But it's up to you if that darkness takes control and…it took control of John. And it ate him up until all that was left inside was darkness. And the darkness in his heart…it drove him to…to try to attack me."

The redhead heart skipped a beat in the worst way possible. His eyes were wide, uncomprehending, trying to make sense…And when it his jaw trembled. "Oh my god."

Roxas nodded, consciously not looking at him. "Yeah…It was really scary. I didn't see him, he came from behind and, and-- he looked crazed, insane, mad. He didn't look like the person I knew, my brother. He looked like the devil had taken hold of him. He was so scary, I was so scared. I thought--" Roxas cut off, eyes filling up with tears, hand coming over his quivering mouth. "I don't know what I thought. I was just scared and I…I felt like 'this is it'. This is how its ends. I just…had that stone fall and I don't think it ever picked up.

"He put his hand over my mouth and told me not to make a noise…" Roxas laughed. "Like I actually _wouldn't_. I think it shocked him that I actually struggled. But how could I not? He touched me and I screamed. If Leon hadn't been walking around when he did," Roxas shook his head softly. "I don't even want to think of what would have happened."

Axel fell to the floor, knees collapsing finally from the intense shaking. _Ohgodohgodohgod._ What? _What_?!

"But Leon did come and John was stopped," Roxas added quickly, cocking his head at Axel's wide eyed, uncomprehending, unbelieving expression. "Unfortunately he ran and we couldn't put an end to his heart's darkness. I was so scared that he would he come back that I couldn't sleep, just like when I still in Twilight City; I was too scared to go to sleep. I couldn't eat. I jumped at any noise, wouldn't go anywhere without someone by my side. You could forget about me going out at night.

"And now I'm getting to the point. Ansem only ever looked out for us, he tried to look out for me. Comfort me. He brought us together Axel," Roxas emphasized. "The God told him about what happened, about me, about you. He was told that we would find each other, that we would fall in love and be loved in return. I would take away your sadness and you would take away mine. I would lead you and you would lead me. Don't you understand? How could Ansem mean any harm when all he'd ever done was help us, protect us, give us a home? It's impossible. Ansem is incapable of harming the good, the just and faithful."

Axel stared at him, mind trying it hardest to keep up with what Roxas was saying but not comprehending. Ansem? A real prophet? He foresaw them meeting? His brain might have said something scathing, something to rebuke but Roxas's sure blue eyes were unwavering. He was sure, certain. He believed in Ansem's words, in their god, of good and of evil. He believed in love, hope and sunshine, faith and, and justice….

"How--how did-how did that even happen?! How could he even be here and no one notice what an evil sonofabitch he is?! Is everyone _blind_? How did no one notice?!"

Roxas shook his head sadly. "Sometimes…Sometimes you only find out afterward when they've already been swallowed by their own darkness how…horrible they are. But we do find out Axel. And they pay for what they do. It's so unfortunate that John got away," he sadly mused. "Now he'll never be able to atone for his sins."

Even though Axel trusted Roxas than anyone else, would probably follow him to the depths of hell, he couldn't smash out the thought that flared up. If anything that had ever been said to him that was the most suspicious, that almost begged to be questioned about even though Roxas said it almost on a whim. Like it just came out unexpectantly, and he hardly even gave it thought.

All of Axel's training, all of his missions, every interrogation he'd ever been in riled up, reminding him of who he was and what he was doing here…. He'd almost forgotten. He would've forgotten.

"Roxas…what…what does that mean? 'They pay for what they do'? What…" Axel said softly but he didn't really want to know, wanted to go back to laughing around the camp-fire, teasing each other lightly, kissing in the night. He didn't want to know, he didn't want to know. _Don't fucking tell me Roxas, please, please, please. _

"I told you before Axel," Roxas said simply, easily. "We are the children of the sun, we rise with the sun. People whose hearts are evil, don't. So… We make it so they never will again." Axel face grew horror stricken, falling back onto his elbows, mouth gaping. His brows furrowing at Axel's expression, Roxas frowned, leaning forward to take his hand and look deeply into his vibrant green eyes. "Axel. It's the only way. You said it yourself. Evil people have no place here. They cannot be here among us, the faithful and the pure. We have to kill them or else they will spread their evil to others, to more people like me. I couldn't live with that on my conscious. We have to kill them, don't you understand?"

Axel did understand, he himself thought immediately of find Murkey and shooting him in-between his eyes for what he did. That was justice. That was what was right, that's what they deserve, what they get.

But that was not justice, not the justice he studied. Axel…he didn't know what to do.

"That's what I mean when I say Ansem would never hurt us….he takes away anything that could, keeps us safe. And he is the only one who handles it, so that our hands would never have to be stained. He takes the burden all on himself to eradicate the evil in people. He would never hurt us… Axel…You…you agree right? You understand, right?" Roxas's eyebrows shot up, his face expectant, wanting to hear Axel verbally agree with him, stop acting so strange.

_Don't tell me Roxas….oh god, oh god. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! _

Like when things get to much to handle, his sadness over his mother, his guilt and bitterness of his friend's death, Ansem's words, the night that everything changed between him and Roxas, and now Roxas's words, he ran. Since he didn't know what to do, he just got out of the situation. Maybe in hopes to clear his head and find a solution. Or maybe just to put off making a choice…for just a bit longer. _All he needed was just a bit longer. _

The cool night wind hit him like a fresh breath of air as he burst forth, Roxas's startled cry calling after him. His heart was racing, mind surging with calculations, with thoughts, opinions, motives and facts. Oh, god. The facts.

They were right, the team was right, Kairi was right, everyone was fucking right, and he was right too.

Sunshine fields, Aerith, Ansem, Penelo, Demyx… Roxas, the whole cult (_because that's what it fucking was!) _killed people.

The thought hit Axel like a gunshot.

They _murdered_ people. People who, while are criminals in their own right, came here just like he did and were killed by the hands that led them in. Murkey, fuckin John Murkey, he was a cult member. He _hurt_ Roxas. And had he not run Ansem would have done him in, would have buried him six feet in the ground. Axel gasped as he stopped, bending over and clutching his knees, mind reeling uncertainly.

Axel would be lying vehemently if he said he didn't agree with killing that son of a bitch. He would be lying if he said he didn't think the cult did more good than harm. He would be lying if he said he thought he cult did harm at all. They put down people who deserved it, people who hurt other innocent people like Roxas. They didn't fucking deserve to live.

With all the evil in world, what was one less? It would just be one less bad person trying to hurt the good. What was wrong with that? What could ever be wrong with that?

Looking across the maze of homes around him, Axel could only think of how many innocent people might be hurt by some dirtbag who managed to weasel his way in here. How many more people like Roxas might be attacked or even raped? How many would be fooled by a smile or a kind face? How many?

_Two hundred or more, _Axel bitterly thought as he sat on the cool earth. _Would be out of a home, a family, by me. _This was what he was sent to look for, any abnormalities that would give the bureau a reason to shut Sunshine Fields down. He was sent to look for this, write it down and report it with no emotion in his voice. That is his job, that's what he does, always, without fail. He wasn't sent to make friends, to get a job making little bowls and plates. He wasn't sent to nod along to what the cult leader says, or listen, interested, to debates the cult members had. He wasn't sent to fall in love with a cult member…

Axel was sent to decide whether or not the cult was dangerous, whether it should be shut down. Was it? Should it?

He didn't know…. He needed more time.

The agent realized with a distraught expression that it was Wednesday.

He didn't have time and his decision had to be made NOW.

Axel sat there, looking at his hands while he bit his lip. Right and wrong….but which was which? What should he do? What could he do? What did he want to do? Time slipped by, the moon in a different spot every time he glanced at it. He spent an hour sitting in the grass, trying to make a decision, trying to figure out what to do now.

He nodded to himself, once, before standing up, unsure to the bone, feeling a strange tugging in his heart, an insistent pull in his brain. Bare feet rusting amongst the cool dark green grass, feeling the blades brush against him like they were reaching out to him, he slowly walked back. It took him awhile, since he could still get lost easily, but he used that time to change his mind four times, all the while doubting he was making the right decision.

Roxas's home shone lightly under the moon, light color not disappearing into the dark like some others. Axel was quiet, lighter on his feet than he'd ever had to be here, barely making a sound.

Inside the blond haired young man slept on his side, facing the entrance. Roxas slept in a neat little ball, like he was trying to give as much room as possible to Axel. The redhead laughed, knowing that was probably the truth. Roxas always left him more than enough room, preferring to wrap around him anyway. But instead of settling down and falling asleep next to the boy, Axel rummaged through his pile of old clothes, finding his wire and holding the fragile mechanics loosely in his palm.

He left, noiselessly, silent and didn't look back.

Axel knew the way to clearing almost by heart now, absently pressing in the ear phone on the way and flicking it on. He was calm, collected, normal, he was Axel O'Hara, reporting in.

'_Hey Axel,' _Zexion greeted, sounding tired. Axel wondered if his friend had been waiting long for him to call or if he was just working into the night as he was known to do.

"Hey man. How's it been? Do your quota of good deeds this week? Or did you go out and buy your own doughnuts this week?" Axel lightly joked, referring to the doughnut fund at the office, to which they believe putting in a dollar a day accounted was a good deed.

'_No, I keep forgetting. The fund girl keeps giving me glares. I think she might revoke my doughnut right.' _Axel laughed, a light sound that didn't feel right at all to him. _'But that's besides the point. Have you found anything out, Axel? Anything at all?'_

Everything Roxas divulged just an hour or two earlier flew about his head, landing on the tip of his tongue, ready to be spilled to the other agent, to the government. Statutory rape, attacks, killings. Axel inhaled deeply, sitting down. He closed his eyes and thought of Roxas, sleeping soundly, unaware of the traitor in his midst. He exhaled, muscles relaxing. Axel hummed, considering Zexion's question. He said with absolute confidence, with conviction, no wavering uncertainly of what he was doing in his voice.

"No."

---

The moon was high in the sky when Axel stumbled back into Roxas's home, darkness hindering his eyesight. He could only see a faint outline of homes, passages, of Roxas's curled up sleeping form. A strange happy/sad smile tugged at the corner's of Axel's mouth from just looking at his perfect soft face, blissfully sleeping the night away. But Axel figured if he were to touch Roxas's cheek, it might be slightly wet. He lingered in the entrance, wondering what to do.

He didn't have a plan but knew what he should do. Axel crawled toward the sleeping boy, lowering himself beside him and drawing the blond close, inhaling the smell of his hair, feeling wiry limbs and strong back, soft skin under his fingers. It must have roused the young man for his bright baby blue eyes opened, blinking sleepily. Axel calmly smiled at him, pressing their foreheads together.

"Axel," Roxas breathed like a soft sigh, wrapping his arms around the redhead's neck. "You came back."

Axel nuzzled his neck, soft hair tickling his face. He pressed a soft kiss to the exposed flesh. "Of course, I came back. I will always come back to you Roxas." The blond man hummed, sleepy, or probably already drifting back to sleep. "I love you Roxas," he admitted. "I will always love you. And I will never, never forget you…."

Roxas didn't reply, grip slackening. Even, deep breathing told Axel that he did fall asleep but he kept murmuring like words into the boy's neck, kissing him and brushing his hair down softly. Axel clutched him close, tried to memorize his face, how he felt, what he sounded like. He gave the sleeping boy a lifetime of kisses… looked at him very hard, kissed him softly once more, stroked his cheek and felt like he might cry.

When Roxas woke up in the morning…Axel would be gone.

* * *

Like i said before it's waaaay shorter than I would like but i really felt that if i added anything else, it would...sort of cheapen the whole chapter as a whole. So in the end i just called it quits cause it didn't feel right. I also think this has been one of the first chapters i haven't freaked out about updating and stared at the screen for days striaght and write nothing. Maybe 'cause I've been planning this scene since chap 2. I dunno. i like it anyways. HBU? I always wonder where ppl think the story is gonna go, or what they think might happen or what they want to happen. OH, and btw ppl who reviewed last chapter i didn't forget about you! I just went straight toward the SB chapter so i'm sorry! :[ I'll do better this time....

So uh, review, please! Haha, or whatever. We're getting close to the end so I would like to see people who've never reviwed put in their two cents, especially since this is the chapter that it is.


	11. Chapter 11

Howdy! Been awhile huh? :]

HAPPY READING!

* * *

CULT

'_Okay, here's how it's gonna go, Axel. Activate your tracker, and get out the hell of there as quietly as possible. Make sure no one sees you," _Zexion's voice droned on in Axel's head as he pushed away branches, stepped over fallen and rotting logs and into the dirt. His boots were good for this but felt weird to the agent, so used to feeling the earth beneath his bare feet.

'_It's approximately a mile and a half to the road. Try to go out the way you came in, we'll meet you where the trail runs into the road. Make sure you don't leave any tracks.' _Axel made sure he didn't, was well used to hiding his trails on the job and he was sure only experienced trackers and finders would be able to follow him. He was sure the cult, and he grimaced as he thought the word, had none of those or the want to go find him. Maybe one though…

He shook his head of the thought and trudged onward in the dark, pushing branches out of the way but careful not to snap them. He could barely see the trail underfoot and more often than not lost it, going deeper into the forest or out of it. He didn't really care since he was sure he would reach the road either way.

Axel struggled to clear his mind, every step he took like a dagger to the heart. As he got farther and farther away the worse he felt, the more quilt-laden his chest became. The redhead trudged on anyway, trying to block out what his head was screaming at him by concentrating on getting out of the thick woods.

The van was parked right across the street, Zexion leaning against its almost luminescent white painted door with a half smile on his face. "Hey."

Despite himself and the chill that ran up his arms, Axel grinned cheekily and sauntered forward as if he hadn't not seen the other man for weeks. "Howdy. What's my time?"

Zexion let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head a little and rolling his eyes. "Weeks. I don't think you can ever top your grand escape from Gargantua. Or Monstro as a matter of fact."

Axel smiled wryly as he stepped on the old paved road, feeling hard tar and grave under his feet instead of dirt. It felt like being on another planet. He sighed and hoped it came out a nostalgic one. "Ah, Monstro. I how I miss her dangerous clutches."

"You almost died, Axel," Zexion stated, eyebrow raised as a smile started forming.

"Still, I miss her dearly."

Agent Gray took a look at his friend, taking in whatever differences may be there. His hair was a smidge longer, face only a shade tanner from being outside and maybe he was a bit leaner. Axel looked just like always, slightly cocky, air of intelligence about him even when he was being obnoxious. It was good to see that at least one thing, at least one person, hadn't gone to hell these past few weeks.

The redhead laughed, one eyebrow arching up as he smirked wider. "Are you just gonna stand there admiring me or are we gonna make like hippies and blow this joint?"

Zexion laughed, same old Axel with the same old jokes and phrases, and threw himself off the side of the car, clapping a hand on Axel's shoulder twice. "We missed you," he said before turning around, leaving what could have been a very chick flick moment behind and heading for the driver's seat. "There's this thing I've had to get used to recently, it's called quiet. I'm really gonna miss it."

"Shut your mouth Gray," Axel sneered good heartedly, shifting the bundle of soft yellow clothing under his arm to open the squeaking passenger door. His team leader, not he expected him to be anyway, was not inside. It was much after midnight; Adams was probably passed out on his couch after watching baseball and inhaling large amounts of liquor. He was surprised, however, to see that Kairi was nowhere to be found. Given their messed up love/hate big brother/ little sister relationship, Axel was sure she would be here to worry all over him and babble away at every little thing that happened in his absence.

As Zexion started up the car, engine roaring softly in the quite spring night, Axel asked, in a friendly, joking manner of her whereabouts, green eyes shifting to watch his friend instead of the passing scenery. On the inside, he knew this would happen, but he also knew he didn't want it to happen and physically watching the familiar land disappear would be too much for him right now. He wouldn't be able to handle it.

If he hadn't done that he wouldn't have been able to catch the way that Zexion flinched, worrying crease developing in his brows, or the way his hands only slightly stiffened around the wheel. In response, already knowing that something was up, recognizing that expression and thinking the worst.

Zexion spoke slowly, unsurely. "She's…uh, she's out---she visiting her family in Destiny Isle," he decided, not looking at his friend, already knowing that Axel would know it was a lie. But he couldn't tell Axel _anything_, not yet. Only after the paperwork was done, everything signed neatly and accordingly, would he be able to break the news that Kairi had officially left the force, quit days after the funeral.

"_I just can't even imagine going back to work right now," she told him on the phone. "Let alone back to Twilight. I just can't." _

She sounded so upset and unsure and just---broken that he didn't push. Zexion understood, knew what she felt somewhat and decided to let her make up her own mind about it even though he was sure she already had. Kairi Freah would never be coming back to the Twilight City branch. Probably not to the FBI at all.

Zexion understood. He didn't really want to go back after Lexaeus died, not really. He only did it because he felt it was obligatory and he thought Lex would want it to be that way.

Next to him, Axel's eyes narrowed, mouth becoming a fine line. There was something Zexion wasn't telling him, he knew. He opened his mouth, to coerce an admission, to beg and plead for knowledge, to ask simply as a friend before he remembered the handbook, codes and procedures that he memorized years ago. Maybe Zexion couldn't, not wouldn't, tell him. And maybe that was good, Axel decided, leaning back into the padding of the seat, eyes focused on the dark road illuminated by the headlights before him.

He probably couldn't take it today, not today, and maybe not tomorrow either. All this and then another tablespoon of unfortunate life? Not all in one day, he wouldn't be able to keep up his façade.

Both men knew something the other didn't and this caused a tense atmosphere in the van, nervous brows twitching in frustration, sorrow, or both. The awkwardness, so thick you could cut through it with a knife, kept on for the remainder of the drive. Zexion kept his mouth shut because he never was too good at lying to Axel especially not when the man was right next to him. He was sure he would let something slip. Axel shut up simply because he fell asleep, tiredness and the nights' actions getting to him.

Side of his face smashed up against the window wasn't the most comfortable position to sleep in but the gentle hum of the engine lulled him to sleep anyway, heat blasting from the vents finishing the job. Axel dreamt of nothing.

Moments passed, minutes passed, two hours passed until the country land gave way to suburbs and neighborhoods and when those developments stopped, Twilight City began, its tall towers still glittering against the dark sky. Artificial light brightened the streets, illuminating graffiti-ed stores and walls, women walking around in near nothing and high heels. This was the bad part of town, where the junkies, pushers, prostitutes and the struggling good lived. Perhaps Zexion chose this route on purpose, to remind himself of why he worked the job he did and why he still kept at it.

Lexaeus once told him one day, after a weeklong mission of tracking down a drug lord, that it made him useful, as if he had a purpose, a reason to be alive at all.

Zexion quirked a small, sarcastic smile and smartly replied that maybe he just liked being the hero.

Lexaeus just laughed. _Someone has to be._

---

"OK, Axel," Zexion said as he shook the sleeping man hard, startling him from his sleep with a grin. "Welcome home."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Axel groaned, wiping at his eyes and at his face, trying to massage some life back into it. Zexion dug around in his pocket for a second before extending his hand in front of Axel's face. A key was held in-between his thumb and forefinger. Axel grabbed at it, grinning sleepily at his friend before opening the door and stepping out on unsure feet.

On instinct he thrust the key in, walked up the few flights of stair to his apartment, dull stomps of his feet the only thing that made any noise. Axel sighed as he reached his door, pressing his fingers to touch his door dumber like it was long lost relic. It felt strange underneath his finger tips. The room was silent as he opened his door, stiflingly quiet.

The room felt empty. _He_ felt empty. There was something wrong with this picture, it didn't feel right. The walls looked worn and dull, carpet strange under his feet. Everything just felt….dead. Motionless, which granted everything was. Everything had a layer of dust on it, looked unused and just there. Everything was just _there_. He hated it, suddenly, hated it all. He didn't need a TV; he didn't need a computer or air conditioning. He didn't need a pile of take out numbers. He didn't need all these extra clothes. He didn't need any of this _stuff_.

It was just stuff.

Everything he had. It was all just stuff.

He felt dislocated, strange and unwelcome in his own home. Axel's shoulders slumped, distress making his eyebrows furrow. This place didn't feel like home. It felt like someone else's home and he was just visiting. No need to put your dent in a place you'd be leaving soon. That's how he felt now, sitting uncomfortably on a couch he picked solely for its comfortability. Axel didn't feel at all like he'd ever lived here or that he would be staying. A dull weight in his chest wouldn't let him.

Axel sighed, looking over the room again. Beige carpet, dark red accent wall with an expensive vintage print on it. Wide screen TV. Couch. Chair. Coffee table. Computer with a cheap Ikea desk set. Thriving plants next to the window overlooking a great view of the city.

He walked over to it, pulling the blinds out of the way. Twilight gleamed, lights winking at him flirtatiously. She looked beautiful, sleek, and fancy. She had all sorts of wonderful attractions that were like sweet promises coated with honey and sugar.

But Axel knew what happened in dark alleyways, why a lady might be standing around on a street corner wearing next to nothing, what really went bump in the night. He knew and for once, the good that happened everyday didn't come to him, to remind him that life was good, life was a miracle. It just stayed in the dark corners of his mind while Axel cursed the city and cursed the people in. But most of all he cursed himself, turning away from the window with a frown, blinds clacking together as they swung back into place.

On way to the bedroom, sheets cold and room feeling colder in a not-temperature-way, he kicked of his shoes and took off the ratty clothing, flinging it away from his skin like it burned. Axel couldn't wear the lie it symbolized any longer, he just couldn't.

He fell asleep fitfully, clenching his eyes closed and wanting to escape to his dreams, wanting the dark curling nothingness, he wanted to just sleep away this frustrated, disappointed, confused feeling away. He just wanted to escape from it all. Into unconsciousness he went.

He secretly hoped he would dream of blond hair, a sweet smile, and loving eyes.

---

Paperwork. It was the bane of the existence to all government workers. Every procedure required paperwork to be done, explaining why or when or how you did it. Axel used to think it was the way they kept tabs on people, only the people wrote out the notifications about themselves by their self and sent them along for someone to dig up years later to push in their face stating they messed up or did something wrong.

Such was the case for Axel now.

He had almost a packet of paperwork that needed to be filled out with the utmost accuracy. It required him to state everything in chronological order, from the very beginning of the mission to yesterday. In it, he had to disclose everything he knew, the names of people he met, what they said, and what he did or did not discover. It was the utmost importance, maybe even more than the mission itself was. Because from these papers would go on file, would be used in the future to look for patterns, to look for any matches, to compare M.O.'s.

His pen paused before meeting paper, uncertainly eating at his nerves as he brought it down, entailing what he didn't find which was according to the scrawling print; _the area known as Sunshine Fields was clean of dangerous situations, there was no evidence of trauma, nor of substance abuse. Minors were present but none younger than seventeen. The statement given by John Murkey, possible former cult member, has not been proven by any evidence. _

As Axel gingerly placed the last paper in order, signed here and there a few more times and stapled a few more things, he shut the cream manila folder with purpose, deep breath leaving him like a prayer.

He lied through his teeth writing all of it.

And he didn't regret it.

A smidge of guilt he had about it left as soon as he remembered why he lied and what it meant because he lied. Roxas, and it physically hurt to think the name, would still have his family, and would still have his home thanks for a little white lie Axel made. Yes, he nodded to himself, this was the greater good. More good than harm was done.

Axel turned it in with his usual cadence, nothing wrong or out of place to make anyone think he just fabricated his report. The girl smiled widely at him as she took it, fingernails painted a dark red, and thanked him for his hard work.

His heart skipped a beat as she walked away with it, worrying that someone would recognize it as a fabrication and call him out on it, exposed Sunshine Fields. However, it passed just as quickly as it had come and Axel adjusted his suit absently, fidgeting with his tie as he went back to his desk.

Zexion waited, two coffees in hand, leaning against his desk boredly like he'd been there all day. As Axel stopped, genuine surprise gracing his features, the agent looked up and held out the coffee. "Hey. I see you're done with the mountain of paperwork."

Axel nodded, taking hold of the drink and taking a hesitant sip. He hadn't had coffee in weeks. "Yeah. I see your back form the mission. How'd it go?"

"Bad. He pulled a gun, we had to take him down," Zexion stated a matter-of-factly and pushed away from the desk. As Axel choked on the hot liquid at the other man's words, Zexion grabbed his suit jacket. "C'mon," he said absently, dully. "I know that you know something's up. A lot of shit hit the fan recently. I'll tell you all about it. Hungry?"

Axel shook his head minutely, following as Zexion walked surely to the elevator. The agent pressed the main floor button, one of many, and sent him a sideways glance. "Good. You might lose your appetite after what I have to tell you."

The doors closed on the two of them as Axel sent a worried look to him, Zexion staring on ahead impassively, taking a little sip.

"Just what do you have to tell me?" Axel asked seriously.

His friend turned a minuscule degree to glance at him steadily, like he was debating something, like he knew something and was sizing Axel up to see if he could handle it. The elevator beeped, several other suits waiting to get in. Zexion muttered to him as they passed the other agents walking swiftly out the front doors like he had somewhere to be; "Something I wish I would have told you a lot sooner. I'm sorry, Axel."

Was it him, or did everything just get chilly of a sudden?

Axel felt his throat choke up, words whipping around in his mind but stopping just sort of his mouth. His eyes darkened considerably, wondering, wondering, wondering just what happened. Anything could have happened in the time span in which Axel was MIA, unavailable to fix everything himself.

The sun was shining as Zexion led him to the parking lot, to his own personal car and opened the door without even glancing at the redhead; possibly presuming he would just get in too. Which Axel did.

There was something wrong here; something that would upset the balance that Axel had spent all morning re-creating. A part of him fretted and worried about what the hell was going on, freaking out mentally about anything and everything. Where was Kairi? Where was Adams? Where were they going?!

Axel steamed quietly in the passenger seat as Zexion drove careful through the city. It was around midday, everyone and their mother out milling in the streets. Agent Gray didn't say anything the entire drive, which unnerved Axel even more. He wasn't friends with the silence that had come over them. He wanted to know what was going on but couldn't bring himself to ask, fearing the answer immensely.

He took notice of the scenery as the car slowed, turning into a place he knew well.

The hospital.

Immediately Axel's heart sank, eyes widening at the horrendously possibilities. When Zexion stopped the car near the entrance Axel didn't even wait for him to open his mouth, threw open the door and broke into a sprint. Blood coursing fast, pumping rhythmically, he entered the busy hospital, nurse eyeing him disapprovingly.

He slowed into a jog as he burst forth, remembering the way through the maze of hallways like the back of his hand. Frantic thought coursed through his head, worry eating at his stomach and making him sick. He fretted, worrying that something had happened, a complication, and, and, oh god, oh god, how would his Dad take this?

Breathing erratic, he came to the door he was looking for, shoes squeaking as he stopped suddenly, holding onto the door for balance. The clap, clap, clap, of his shoes as he walked those few extra steps, he'd long forgotten how many they were, seemed louder to him, menacing. He feared the worst, he fear that, even though he knew she would never awaken, knew that she wouldn't ever smile at him again, or say his name, even though he knew she was technically dead already, that her body would be gone.

He feared he wasn't there for her last machine triggered breath, that he missed it all, missed the funeral, missed her burial, missing seeing her once last time. He couldn't take that, he just couldn't.

But his mother was there, cords still attached her to unmoving body, machines beeping in time with her breathing, sacks filled with clear liquid dripping.

Axel let out a long breath, relieved that his overactive imagination was just that; an overactive imagination. He laughed while rubbing at his eyes and massaging his forehead, shaking his head at his own foolishness.

It was when he opened his eyes, really looked, did he notice something was wrong, misplaced.

The walls were missing most of the pictures that'd been there last time Axel saw them, the flowers that his dad always brought were different and there were fewer, books his father read to his comatose wife were missing, candles his mother loved and his father frequently brought were no where in sight his fathers chair was missing, and most shockingly so was his father.

From the lack of stuff, it appeared he'd been gone for a while now.

Axel was so immersed in his wide eyes staring that he didn't hear Zexion come in until the shorter man was right next to him, looking forlorn. He spoke slowly, softly in the silence of the room, his words and the beeping of life giving machines the only noise. "I couldn't tell you… I wanted to but…"

The redhead swallowed a lump in his throat, giving a breathy laugh. "It is what it is."

Zexion went quiet, watching Axel from the corner of his eye. He looked stiff, jaw clenched tightly in what looked like resentment and silent sadness. Agent Gray continued though, feeling Axel should know everything. "He left a few days after you left. Went to London and then to Paris. He's in Berlin now, last I checked in on his status."

"Yeah," Axel swallowed, fists clenched. "He said he might take a trip out there… I just….I don't know…"

"I've been coming almost every day," Zexion told him, attempting comfort. "I drop in and check in on her status," Axel didn't really feel like telling him it was no use, that her status wasn't ever going to change. "And I bring in new flowers every once in awhile. Um, I…I'm really sorry Axel. I know you and your Dad were somewhat close. I know it must be hard."

It wasn't hard. It wasn't anything. His Dad just left for a long awaited trip. Without telling him. Or waiting for him. It was nothing. Axel sighed, shaking his head. "It's nothing. Zexion," he murmured dully, turning to walk out the room, shoes clapping hard against the tile floor. His friend hesitated before following him, watching with sad interest as Axel slumped against the outside and slide to the floor.

"What else don't I know?" Axel asked, staring idly at the wall before him with no particular interest in his gaze. Zexion sighed, sitting next to him.

"Kairi's friend died," he stated. Axel's eyebrows shot up as he frowned. "She is seeing family in Destiny Isle but she went in the first lace to go to his funeral. He was her best friend. They were in the same team in the Destiny branch."

"Oh, really," Axel said conversationally but with little concern. "How'd he kick the bucket?"

Zexion frowned. "He burned to death in a fire."

"Oh. Closed casket service then. Well. When's she coming back?"

"She's not."

Axel blinked, turning to look Zexion in his only visible eye. Not for the first time he wondered how Zexion managed to be able to keep his hairstyle. "What the hell do you mean? She's can't _leave_."

"She already did," Zexion answered calmly, watching as Axel's features contorted into a frustrated expression.

"What the hell? You don't just leave the force! You don't just toss the towel in!"

"But she's been through a lot--" Zexion tried to say but Axel cut him off.

"I don't give a shit! Shit like this happens, everyday. People die but life goes on. You don't just quit your job and move. You don't give up. You fuckin' soldier on. I've been through hell," he snapped. "I watched Lex die right in front of me. I held his fucking hand and watched when he took his last breath. But I didn't just quit. I didn't _leave_. Lex wouldn't want me to, I'm sure her friend wouldn't want her to. We have a _responsibility…." _Axel trailed off, looking at his wrung hands. "We make sacrifices for the greater good."

Zexion was silent beside him, legs stretched out as he leaned against the wall. "I know Axel… Kairi…she just couldn't do it anymore, Ax. Don't blame her for doing what she thought would be best for her. She'd just trying to cope and be happy again. She'd just trying to be happy," he stressed, repeating the words she one told him. "Doing this, arresting people but seeing the majority get off, she couldn't do it anymore…."

They both said nothing for a long while, neither not quite knowing what to say and both of them not wanting to upset the other.

Axel, he'd never thought about leaving before. Never. Not even after Lexaeus died did he even consider leaving the FBI. Axel just went right back to work, believing it was what he should do, what he actually wanted to do.

It made sense to quit, he realized. Lex died doing this job, a job that had more losses than gains every day. People died for mistakes of others or fool heartedly dove in to traps in an effort to save someone. People would understand if he didn't want to work the job anymore.

But that was then, this was now. After a year of working in spite of Lex's death, he continued to work the job he did and never let on that he ever wanted otherwise. It was the job he'd always wanted, one he aspired for since childhood.

He wanted to do justice, help people, save people, and maybe fall in love with a pretty Russian while he was at it. He just wanted to do the greater good.

An idea slowly came to him on the hospital floor. Where he got the idea would be ironic to him if he thought about but right now he was too deep into his thoughts, running strategies and plans and possibilities in his head. It was ingenious, brilliant in his own mind, insane in another's. The greater good, righteousness.

Axel stood slowly, Zexion snapping out of his own thoughts to stand also, giving him a small smile. He invited his friend out for a drink, or for lunch. The redhead smiled widely, green eyes glinting excitedly as he accepted the proposal. Inside, he was giddy, far too excited for his own good.

They walked out of the hospital, just as an ambulance came in, sirens screaming in the air, expressing the frantic need to save this person's life to everyone in the vicinity.

Axel had decided to kill John Murkey.

He could think of no other way to serve justice better, to punish he who deserved to be punished. He would do Ansem's work, be his extended hand for this one occasion. It would be justice, it would be righteous, it would be the punishment he deserved but most importantly, it would be the closure that Roxas needed.

Roxas. Axel mentally sighed the name. Oh how he missed the fair-haired boy. He'd make due on his promises to the younger man, too, while he was at it.

---

Axel had somewhat of a plan. He knew how kill someone without leaving a mark and had worked far too many cases to not know how to make it so he'd be a ghost, no trace of him whatsoever. He knew how to break into a house quietly, how to dress so people who might have seen him gave the wrong description. It scared him a little, thinking these things, about how well he knew he could kill him.

But not enough to not do it.

The thing really standing in his way of exacting the murder of John Murkey was in fact John Murkey. Or there lack of.

John Murkey had dropped off the radar.

Axel spent a week trying to track him down in his spare time, in-between missions and after work, before work, whenever he could. He checked every source he could, called up every name that popped up, followed leads that went dead for any more recent news.

The hardest part of searching for John Murkey, however, was keeping it a secret from everyone else. Zexion had been particularly in his business lately and every time he turned around Zexion was there, or Adams was coming around the corner with a briefing file in his hands. Between them and covering his digital tracks he had his hands full, barely juggling them all efficiently.

But he did and he was confident that no one knew.

When the day finally came when he tracked Murkey down to whatever rock he crawled under, Axel accidentally stumbled on his whereabouts. He hadn't even been looking for the man at than instance, just doing a little background about crimes around the very bad area of downtown Twilight, looking for connections to tie to a drug dealer. He chanced upon Murkey's booking photo for drunken indecency. He spent two days in jail before being let go.

They listed an address and Axel stared at it for a long, long time, knowing that today, rather tonight, was the night.

Bringing in murderers, tracking down drug dealers or shutting down sex rings hadn't made him feel hadn't ever made him feel so right. Probably because this time he had a personal reason for serving justice. That jackass hurt Roxas. Other people too, Axel was sure, but Roxas was the only one that mattered. He hurt a fellow child. He was a bad seed.

And bad seeds shouldn't be let to grow lest their evil spread.

--

In a calm manner Axel strode down the street, hunched over and keeping to himself, hands thrust into the pockets of ratty old jeans he would later burn. Head down and hood over his head, no one could get a good look at his face and if they did, they would only see the thick layer of make-up used to darken his normally fair complexion.

In ratty, baggy jeans and old, torn up tennis shoes and a large pull over sweatshirt, no one could really give a good estimate on his body type or his height given his hunched stature.

No one bugged him the walk there, dark, menacing air around him warning anyone and everyone to back off and get the hell out of his way. They did.

Murkey lived in one of the better worst part of towns where rent was cheap if you kept your mouth shut and turned a blind eye. The apartment building didn't have a buzzer, it didn't even have a lock on the door and Axel pushed it open like he had every right to, looking for any cameras. There were none.

Apartment 3-D was where Axel would find the man he was looking for all this time. Three stories up and four doors down. The tarnished door number was nearly falling off and shuddered when Axel knocked on it. There was a shuffling behind the door, a small crash, before it stopped, presumably for Murkey to peep through the eyehole and furrow his brow when he didn't recognize him.

Axel knocked again, impatiently.

Hesitantly, the door opened, the stubbled face of John Murkey appearing in the crack of the door. He looked at Axel for a second, blinking. "Who the hell are y--"

He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence. Axel kicked the door open, breaking the cheap chain that tried to keep it closed, making the cheap wood collide with the man's forehead hard enough to break skin. There was a dull thump as his heavy body fell to the ground, undoubtedly unconscious. Immediately, Axel slipped though the opening in the door, pushing it closed gently with gloved hands.

Murkey was heavy, all dead weight, as he dragged him away from the door, giving the tiny living room a glance over, taking in the mess upon mess and dirt and grim covering every inch of the place. The TV was on, some stupid cable show that Axel did not know the name of, right across from the padded chair.

After Axel placed him in it, sitting right across from him on the little ledge that the stand the TV was on provided, John stirred, groggily blinking and reaching to touch his bleeding forehead. He made a hurt noise, a whine and a groan, before he looked around and found Axel. Immediately he stiffened, fear in his eyes. John opened his mouth to say something, to scream, to shout---

The gun Axel carried with him clicked as he cocked it, pointing it at the man. "If you scream I'll kill you," he calmly said. It was true, but then again Axel was planning to kill him anyway.

Murkey shook and Axel took a slight satisfaction on that. Now maybe he knew what Roxas felt, fearing death and pain, and just fear, fear, fear. "Wha-wha-what do you w-w-w-want with me?"

"Nothing," Axel said calmly. "I want nothing to do with you. You don't deserve this wonderful, life John. You know why? I'll tell you why. Someone who could stand to hurt one of his own brothers?" Axel tsked, shaking his head. "Now that's a person who shouldn't be able to spread his evil on. That's what you are John; evil."

John was visibly shaken, eyes wide. "How do you know what?"

"Does it matter? I know. And I know you have to be punished for what you've done John. It's the only way to keep evil from growing. I don't really understand you, john," Axel frowned. "I really don't. You get a second chance at a good life, a different life, and yet you choose to be an evil little fuck instead of letting the good cleanse you. Then you run away…to try to shut down the place that gave you this great chance? I don't really get it.

"But," Axel laughed, looking at the frightened and unbelieving man in the eyes. "I don't really care. Call me Grim, Johnny boy, because your number's up. I'm gonna make sure of it."

John stiffened, trying his hardest to merge into the back of the chair to get away to no avail. Axel hit him swiftly across the head, rendering him unconscious for the second time today. The place he hit would be overlooked if Murkey even got the chance for an autopsy, which was unlikely. The scrap on his forehead would be contributed to the fall he took after he fell off his chair, dead form a heart attack.

A syringe filled with nothing but air would do the trick.

And then he was gone. Locking the knob on the door from the inside as he slipped out much as he slipped in, silent, unnoticeable, untraceable.

Axel felt like he'd finally done something right in all of his twenty-six years.

---

A few days after Axel had put down Murkey, he and Zexion were sitting around waiting for another case when the short of two made a little chocking sound at the back of his throat initiating a mildly curious glance from his bored team mate.

"John Murkey is dead," he gasped, staring at his computer screen.

Axel blinked, sitting up and tried to look shocked but interested. "Holy fuck," he said. "What happened?"

"A…heart attack," Zexion read to him from the screen. "Huh, weird. He was pretty young too."

Axel shrugged, going back to looking bored. "That's what burgers and French fries can do to ya."

"Oh, yeah and I can see you're really taking that to heart," Zexion looked pointedly at a few remains of burger wrappers.

"But I am fit and healthy," Axel decreed. "A few burgers are nothing to my metabolism. I'll burn them off later. That sucks though. Poor guy."

Zexion snorted. "Yeah, well. It'd be a greater loss if he gave us a correct statement. It's no matter." He sat up straight in his chair. "Look alive, Ax. Here Adams comes."

They worked two weeks watching a building, trying to get a solid bust on a prostitution ring. Not once was Murkey ever mentioned again, nor did anyone call him into a private meeting discussing the matter. When he looked it up later the cause of death was a heart attack and no other investigation went into the matter. All interest in the man receded once Axel turned in the report saying his statement was unproven.

One day Axel had to lean back in his chair and blink, wondering to himself how he really got away with it. Just like that.

Two weeks had passed until Axel was sure the matter was forgotten and done with, no one even remembered it. The clothes we wore that night were burned, syringe carefully disposed of. Nothing tied him to the case at all.

Only after those two weeks passed did Axel let himself relax and start thinking of other things, better, happier things. Like Roxas.

He thought of Roxas in the morning, when getting coffee to calm his nerves, when he drove around following people for work, when he sat in the car all night while staking out homes for hours, when he left work, when he got home, in bed, in the shower, in his dreams. How he not think of the blond? Axel missed him, had forgotten how he felt, how he smelled. But he remembered his smile, his eyes, his voice. And that kept him from messing up and making mistakes. Only if he pulled it off perfectly would he be able to slip under the radar forever.

He had no qualms about it. Life wasn't the same anymore now that he knew what he did. Axel no longer had anything keeping him here. The only thing he had to look forward to if he stayed was when they finally pulled the plug for his mother and when his dad came home from actually living his life. One of his best friends were dead, the other is an emptier shell because off it, and another left to be happy.

It was a rare moment where Adams was alone, Zexion nowhere in sight. Axel jumped on the chance, rolled his chair in front of his desk and waited until he was granted with an annoyed stare. "I'm quitting," Axel said aloud for the first time. He saw Adams graying eyebrows shoot up. "I'm leaving the FBI. I already got all the papers filled out and everything."

Xigbar stared at him for a long moment, features eventually twitching into a lopsided smirk. "Good for you," he said, something akin to pride in his voice. "I was wondering when you would say that. Seems I can't keep a team together," he sighed. "But. Good for you. Get the hell outta here, Axel. And don't look back. I got three more year before I can retire but I'll be going to Mexico, to live on the coast."

Axel smiled, pleasantly surprised at how well this turned out. He expected Adams to get angry, yell, demand reasons and explanations or get cold and distant, bitter towards him. He didn't expect to be pleasantly exchanging words on where and what he was going to do, the answers to which where 'I don't know' and 'I don't care'. The older man congratulated him again, gave him advice on what to do and told him again to get the hell out of the Bureau fast.

He did. Axel had things to do, goodbyes to be had. A letter to write.

Diana O'Hara didn't magically awaken to hear her son tell her goodbye, for what he hoped would be the last time. He laid a kiss on her forehead, sadly wondering what his Dad was going to think whenever his tour of the world was over with. He would come back to a still wife and a long gone son. Axel left a lengthy note explaining that he had left, much like his father did, because he wanted to do what made him happy and to not worry about him, that he'd be fine.

He hoped it would be enough for his father and that he would understand.

The redhead ex-agent put out all of his stuff on the street, donated clothes, and shredded every paper of importance, and paid his last months rent. When he was finished, his apartment was cold, silent, and empty and night was nearing.

He had one last thing to do. One more person to be said goodbye to, or maybe not be said good-bye to at all. Secretly, Axel hoped Zexion would come with him.

But when he tapped on the door a disgruntled young man glared at him. "You quit?! What the hell?"

Axel rolled his eyes, stepping around his friend and into his apartment. Paco curled around his ankles. "Good to see you too, Zexion."

"What the hell are you thinking? Why didn't you tell me about this sooner? Why didn't you tell when you did it? I really had to find this out from Adams? Really?!" If Zexion was angry he sure as hell didn't show it. "The fuck were you thinking Axel?!"

"I was thinking you say the exact same things you're saying now. C'mon, man. I'm just doing what making me happy. Didn't you tell me the same thing about Kairi? I don't think you gave her quite this reaction."

The shorter man's eyes narrowed. "She had a reason. She had a motive. What the hell did you do it for?"

"I told you; to be happy."

"You seemed plenty happy for the past few days!"

Axel sighed and gave him a scathing look. "People would say the same about you."

"The fuck are you talking about?" Axel winced under Zexion's growing volume and growing use of curses. He always cursed more when he got flustered. "I'm plenty happy. I'm fine."

"Oh, come on, Zexion! Do you really think Lex would have wanted you to continue like this?" Axel stated, digging in deep, pushing buttons he'd been careful not to push for a year. He was just stating what were on his mind now, things he wished he said a long time ago. "Miserable, and lonely, and unhappy! Lex wouldn't wish that one someone he hated, you know that. He would have wanted you to do whatever made you happy, not what made him happy."

Zexion gulped, had a deer in the headlights look on his face, pale like all the blood drained from his face. "Maybe…Maybe not, who knows what he would want for me."

"He sure as hell wouldn't want this!" Axel stared him down, fierce determination in his eyes. "I know you two had something, I don't know what, I don't really wanna know what, but he loved you more than what was normal for friends and I know he wouldn't want you to be doing this to yourself. He would be turning in his grave to see you like this. All he ever wanted was for everyone to be happy. Be happy, Zex. Juts let yourself be happy."

"How do you be happy, Axel?" Zexion snapped. "Huh? By quitting your job? By leaving everything you've ever known? Leaving your family?"

"You don't even talk to your family so shut up about that. And yes! You do! If it makes you happy, do whatever the hell you want to. This," he waved a hand around to encompass Twilight City as a whole. "doesn't make me happy. None of it. I'm going somewhere where all this doesn't exist and I can be content to be content. Don't you want that? Don't you Lex would want you to want that?"

Zexion was quiet, silently glaring holes into the carpet as his mouth twisted. "I…" His eyebrows came together as he pushed the hair out of his eyes and tucked it back be hind his ear. Mentally, he considered Axel's words, thought about what Lexaeus would really want for him, what he would say to this. What did he really have here anymore? A cat? A job he didn't like too much? All his friends were leaving, left, or dead. "How…Where are you going?"

"I'm going to sunshine fields," Axel admitted, staring him firmly in the eyes as Zexion balked. "It's not what you think. I've told you, it's nothing like a cult. It's not a cult. It's just a place where people go and they get a second chance to have a better life. It's happy there, people are happy and they don't have worries the way they did here. It's a better place, trust me. Come with me," he pleaded. "You'll be happy."

"…Okay."

---

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Ah, well its been FOREVER! Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. If one story gets dealyed then the next will and the next will and its just an endless cycle. SO YEAH. I feel its a little rushed, but, uh, I'm happy. You happy? I'm happy. I think this a super weird chapter. I think this whole story is super weird. But I love it. Its fun to write obsessed and in love!Roxas. I've always had a little sweet spot for Zex/Lex too. I feel like all the peices are coming togther FINALLY. they've been in place but now they're actually moving together. That's probably because next chapter is going to be the last chapter, finally concluding this wild roller coaster ride. Can you belive it?!?!?!?!? Gonna do two SB chapters and then do the finale for CULT. Soooo three weeks, hopefully. If all bodes well.

REVIEWS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME, especially if your new/ have not reviwed yet. C'MON, your time to reveiw while CULT's still alive is nearing to an end!! Press that little green button. If you are bored this holiday season I would suggest going out and buying the SUPERNATURAL series. Been watching it since last year. Its...amazing. Just wonderful. Go rent/buy/whatever it, just watch it! I'm gonna watch my seasons now. :] Have a great Christmas and New Years!!!


	12. Chapter 12

Happy Reading! for the last time

* * *

CULT

Handing in his resignation form, Zexion had never felt lighter. No scratch that, he had felt lighter than this at one point but… that had been when Lexaeus was still alive. So he hadn't felt this light in a year and he hadn't felt this satisfied. Cleaning out his desk and being given friendly parting words from Adams, it suddenly felt real to him. He really did just hand in his resignation form, he really did just clean out his desk, he really did agree to accompany his friend on his hair-brained journey to live inside a cult.

Zexion shook his head, trying to clear himself of the thought unless he, god forbid, started to actually think about it.

It wasn't that he thought it was stupid…just well, it was stupid. It was… completely irrational, it was unlikely and he was pretty sure Axel hadn't actually thought about his plan at all beyond quitting his job and leaving for the cult. Axel wasn't exactly forthcoming with information and Zexion wasn't quite sure he wanted to know more. The one and only time he pressed for details, Axel just smirked at him and said he would take care of it.

Besides the vague information that Axel would 'take care of it', he didn't know anything. Not how they were getting there, what would happened when they got there, how they were supposed to slip off the face of the planet and have no one come looking for them, or, and his heart skipped a beat at this one, if they were found, or, and this is the one that he spent the most time thinking about, what he should pack.

When the ex-agent came home, Paco jumping from the fur covered couch and twist his tail around Zexion's legs, Axel didn't look like he was 'taking care of it'. It didn't look like he had even moved from his spot on the couch, staring at some dumb TV show. The redhead only gave a distracted _hey_, not even looking over to him.

For some reason this really bothered him. Zexion's mouth twisted a little bit, though he figured he couldn't expect anything more. Axel had moved out of his apartment and had nowhere else to go while Zexion took care of his own unfinished business. But to see him just sitting on his ass, looking like he hadn't moved all day, really pissed him off.

"Well," he started, staring pointedly at him. "I quit my job today. I also gave the landlord last months rent. What the hell did you do today?"

Now Axel looked over at him, both eyebrows raised over his wide eyes in a 'whoa! Someone's PMS-ing' look. "Um, okay, don't get pissy at me. For your information, I've been making paper trails all day so that when we split the other government dogs won't pick up on us for awhile. I haven't just been sitting on my ass all day, jeez," Axel scoffed. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed."

"…oh."

"Yeah." Axel sighed, shaking his head. He pointed at his friend was who starting to take of his shoes and loosen his tie. "You need a chill pill. I told you I would take care of it."

And take care of it Axel had. It took more effort and more time he wanted to put into it but he was satisfies with it's end results. It wasn't easy to make it look like you didn't really drop off the face of the planet and were really taking an extended vacation to the coast. It wasn't easy to make it look like you kept on doing your thing for an entire year.

While Zexion went to work for a week before turning in the paperwork, Axel had been hacking into every system he could to fake the receipts and tickets and general purchases. They were all superficial and would only technically exist in the government's data base. Axel was sure he did a good enough job to even fool himself for awhile.

And when the trail ended? Well, by then no one would really have a clue where to even start looking for them. They, he, Zexion, and everyone else, would be safe. He made sure of it.

He flicked off the TV and set his green gaze onto his friend and now fellow soon-to-be runaway. "Good to hear about the landlady. I wanna leave soon."

Zexion balked, started mid-step on his way to his kitchen, almost stepping on his cat. "Tonight? But--But." he looked around his living room, thinking of all the things he had to do to get all of his things out of the apartment. "What about all my stuff?"

"I already got rid of most of it. Clothes, hygiene stuff, anything that had your name on it, everything that had your DNA on it. I completely crashed your computer," Axel said casually. "The TV is too heavy and I don't think the couch will be a big deal. Food's all tossed," he called as Zexion started heading toward the kitchen. "I packed what we would need."

The shorter of the two stopped, all reason for even moving about gone. Axel sat and watched the television idly. All of his stuff was gone. No trace of him anywhere. Pictures, he saw now, were gone, magnets he had on his refrigerator were gone, everything was gone. It was like he was never here. Axel had truly taken care of it. Any choice to back out now was gone, they were really gonna do it.

Zexion walked back and plopped down next to his one remaining friend and after a long silence he asked, "…So. How are we getting there again?"

And Axel smirked.

---

Walking, it seems, was the only suitable way to get there they needed to be. Even though it took around two hours to get there by _car_. Axel was kind of sure they would make it before nightfall. Maybe, _possibly_ before the sun set.

It did not bode well for Zexion's feet, nor for his arms as Paco refused to walk alongside him brought along for the trip because, well, he would not leave his fat and spoiled, de-clawed cat all alone in the city. He was growing heavier by the minute.

"Axel," he whined, Paco purring in his arms as they walked down the busy street. "Do we really need to walk out of town? Can't we just take a cab?"

"Cab can be tracked," Axel insisted, adjusting the strap of the lone duffle he carried. Inside had the only things they were bringing into their new lives, that is, food. Axel took pride in the fact that he literally had nothing of his old life holding him back from going forward. He was free to go forth and be the Axel he wanted to be once again.

"Not after months have gone by. No one has that great a memory. Besides," he huffed, adjusting his hold on his cat as he squirmed. "The cabs from downtown don't have cameras or anything. There'll be no trail to track."

Axel didn't even looked like he considered it, just kept walking swiftly, running sneakers hardly making a noise against the sidewalk. They were both dressed casually, maybe more outdoorsy than the rest of people out in the town. But they wouldn't stand out. Axel was wearing a hat and Zexion had pinned his hair back. They looked like civilians. They wouldn't be picked out in a line-up or even given second thoughts.

The redhead huffed and changed direction, figuring out how to get where they needed to get fast. With use of a cab, he figured, and being dropped off where the suburbs started turning into the country, the time spent traveling would be cut immensely.

Zexion smiled, knowing he won, but said nothing, following him silently wherever he may lead and hoping that he really was making the right decision.

If the cabs could in any way indicate exactly where they came from, this one did a very accurate representation of downtown. Rank, nearly falling apart, and manned by a surly man around forty who looked like all he really wanted to do was to run the cab right into a building. He also represented the city well when he didn't bat an eye at their strange destination and immediately started driving, not saying a word.

The tall, if in bad condition, buildings zipped by at a much faster rate than if they tried to walk through it. Zexion watched as his city started to fade into the background, mentally saying goodbye as the buildings started to get smaller and slowly changed into a more suburban area. No one said anything the entire car ride and Zexion figured Axel was thinking the same thoughts as he was, that they were really going, they were almost _there_.

Watching the homes fly by, passing neighborhood from neighborhood, the ex-agent started to worry. What was Axel's plan? What would they do if it didn't work out? Would they really be accepted? Axel was one thing, the members already thought he was a member once too, but he? Zexion had never stepped foot in the place, would they let him in? What would he do if they didn't?

He was working himself into a fit, worries and bad thoughts filling his head as Axel sat calmly next to him. He didn't look like he was worried at all, like he was in control of the situation and he knew it. This sated him, but Zexion had questions he needed to be answered, his curious mind wouldn't let him be left in the dark anymore. If there were going to be problems, he needed to be aware of them and he needed to get a plan going for just in case. That's just how he was.

Minutes passed just like the scenery and they were nearing toward the place where Axel told the man to drop them off. As an old gas station right before the suburbs started switching to farms and into the country, it was the perfect place to start their journey on foot. Only thirty minutes had passed and the sun was still above head but was gradually slinking down. It would set in perhaps five hours and he and Axel had miles upon miles of country land to trek across.

Both car doors slammed as they got out and it sounded obnoxiously loud in the surrounding quietness. The trees and fields looked slightly ominous and Zexion gulped, tightening his grip on his purring cat as Axel threw more money than was needed at the cab driver. He emptied all of his bank accounts earlier so he didn't see why not.

The redhead watched the cab and when it was a good enough distance away he started moving, taking long strides, excitement and impatience evident in his walk.

Zexion waited until he caught up with his friend and kept his pace for a long moment. He didn't quite know where to start so he just opened his mouth and said it. "What's your plan?"

"Whaddya mean, what's my plan?" Axel kept his gaze straight on forward, intent on the road before them.

"I mean, _what's your plan?! _How are we gonna get in there this time? What are you going to say when they ask where you've been? What are you going to say about me? What are you---"

"Well, obviously," Axel interrupted, glancing at him shortly. "We're gonna go through the front door. I'm gonna tell them I had to get my friend. All of which is true. Just follow my lead and everything will be fine."

The slate haired man huffed, angry at being interrupted and at his vague answer. "But what will you say? They're going to want more than that. Have you even prepared what you're going to say? What will you do if they won't accept us?" The agent saw how Axel stumbled in his step, how his shoulders tensed and Zexion's eyes narrowed. "Have you even thought about that?"

"They'll take us in," Axel insisted, looking at him straight in the eyes. "They will."

"How do you know?"

"I just--" Axel hunched his shoulders in a shrug, eyes going up to look at the blue sky. "I just have faith that it will. Trust me, if we plan the entire thing out, script what we say, they'll pick out that it isn't sincere. They'll know if we planned it. Just-- we'll take it a step at a time. I'll flip if they won't take you in," he promised. "Everything will be fine."

Axel's continual promises that everything will be fine somewhat soothed him, but the worry Zexion had in his gut didn't go away.

They walked for hours, Zexion's feet felt swollen and ached with every step he took. Besides the occasional gentle breeze that shook up the trees and the odd car that passed them, all was quiet. Zexion had no idea how far they had traveled or how much farther they still had to go. The sun was a little lower in the sky.

When he thought his feet be bleeding Axel finally announced that they could take a break and sat down on the grass next to the road. He looked weary as he set the small duffle bag down and dug through it, sighing.

Zexion set Paco down, the cat venturing off a little ways before he preceded to give himself a bath. Axel looked at it, shaking his head and smiling. He offered an apple and said, "Why did you bring that thing anyway?"

His friend huffed, taking the fruit. "What else could I do? Paco's a lover, not a fighter. He wouldn't be able to survive on the tough streets of upper Twilight."

"He might cave to the peer pressure of the other cats and get into hard drugs, join a gang," Axel laughed, winking. "Right?"

"Right." They both quieted, chew on the food Axel had brought.

"Hey….I just…I know not having a big master plan isn't your style. Thanks for…I dunno, believing I can handle this. I can. I know I can. If we just wing it, it'll work into place, I know it will. I…I was on pretty good terms with some higher ups. I'm almost positive she'll pull some strings," Axel nodded to himself, thinking of the ways he could make everything work out, confident in his ability.

"That's good. I…It just makes me nervous, This whole thing does, Axel, I'm not gonna lie to you," Zexion confessed into his apple. "I think this whole thing is pretty illogical. But…I'm willing to see it through. Is it really such a good place?"

Axel grinned, leaning back and looking up at the sky, fond memories coming back to him. "Oh yeah. It's…paradise. It's like life used to be, should be. Before phones, and terrorist attacks and wars and drugs and evil. Everything is just peaceful. You won't have to worry ever again. That's just how they roll there. It's the only place I want to go now…."

"Do you think I'll…god, I feel like an awkward teenager right now," Zexion laughed. "But do you think I'll fit in good ther?. You've been through weeks of it, you know what to expect, but…will I survive there?"

"They'll make it so you will. Everyone looks out for each other. I'll see to it that you find your niche. No one will let you fail here. As long as you try to work it out it will."

"I hope it will."

They only rested for fifteen minutes, enough time to gulp down some food and some water. Zexion picked up his cat and Axel took out a map and they started walking again, a little more confidence in both their steps now. They walked for what seemed like days, monotonous scenery making time blur together until neither were sure just how long they'd been going. But they knew where they had to be and that made them keep going, every step a step closer.

And then the came to their destination, the map in Axel's hands being correctly read and had led them to the correct road. The path was beaten down and easy to follow, winding to steer clear of trees and leading to an iron gate surrounded by tall hedges.

Axel took a deep breath. "This is it."

The sun was set, moon giving them ample light to scale the greenery. With a thump they both landed on the other side. Zexion, standing up, was stunned. They were here. They were there, standing right on the soil. From a distance he could sort of see the outlines of homes, tents, and there were so many of them.

Eyes wide, he could only follow as Axel starting toward the mass, a little breathless as he tried to keep up with Axel's fast, excited pace. Every nervous flutter in his chest must have been matched by a pleasant, anxious one in Axel because the redhead had the most hopeful, joyous smile on his face, eyes glittering. The beaten path before them swerved to the left, off and around to the side of the bundle of houses but Axel disregarded it, heading straight.

Coming closer, Zexion could see that the tents were made out of cloth and the homes came in all the colors of the rainbow. The effect was sort of carnival-ish, looked bright and fun and carefree. Freedom in being simple.

Just as they entered the massive maze of multi-colored tents, Axel grinning wider than ever, looking around like he was a kid back in a candy store, there was a gasp.

Both of the ex-agents whipped their heads around, locating the person immediately for she stood only feet away.

A woman, Zexion vaguely recognized her as the girl who was taken in the same time as Axel but couldn't think of her name, was staring at them wide-eyed, blinking. Soon enough, as the cogs churned in her head, the expression turned bewildered and incredulous and then changing into trepidation and increasingly alarmed. She looked like she was about to shout.

Axel shot her a pleading look, ducking his head down to look into her eyes. "Larxene. Please…" he begged, letting his desperation show on his face. "Please, sister."

Larxene, the business woman who once looked as icy as her heart surely was, softened at his tone, distress on her face turning slowly into compassion and worry. She looked at the redhead, looked straight into his eyes, looking for any sign that his motives were ugly, for a long time, unwavering in her intense search.

Gradually, she nodded, casting a glance at the newcomer before looking again at Axel, the man who was brought here with her, her brother. Larxene grabbed his wrist. "I'll take you to Aerith. C'mon. Let's go before anyone else sees you."

---

Quickly, for Larxene forced them into a run among the maze of colorful tents, he and Zexion were sitting before Aerith, her tired and surprised face glancing at them both before she herded them into her home, telling Larxene to head straight home to get a good nights rest.

She stared at them solemnly and Axel felt the need to duck his head sheepishly under her intense gaze, feeling quite like a child who was being punished. Aerith gave no hint as to what she was thinking, keeping her face blank for a long moment while she stared at them, taking in their appearance, their clothes, the guilty look on Axel's face and the worried one on Zexion's. She even briefly studied the cat who was purring next to Zexion.

When she spoke, it was softly, but had a commanding undertone that demanded they listen.

"I was worried about you," she said. "No one knew where you went. Roxas was in hysterics."

At Roxas's name Axel started, light green eyes shoot up to her dark green, hopeful but tragic, like the world had stopped turning. After a while, where Aerith met his gaze solidly, saying with her eyes, yes, you did that, you're at fault for this, he averted his gaze and she continued, giving Zexion a curious look.

"You leave for weeks and then you come back with another man. What am I supposed to think of this?" Axel balked, opening his mouth indignantly to explain that they were just friends, but she held up a dainty hand, commanding his voice to quiet.

"I already know what you're about to say and frankly I believe you. But the fact is that you've left the congregation without permission, without even telling anyone, and now you're back. And with an _outsider_, not chosen by me nor anyone else who has the authority. Axel," she shook her head, looking at him like he had two heads. "How could you do such a thing?"

"I had to," he said, meeting eyes with Zexion briefly. "He's my friend and he's suffered too. I couldn't just leave him there. Aren't we supposed to help those who are in need? He was in need. I helped him."

Aerith's eyes narrowed. "If he needed such help then why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you voice your opinion before you ran off? Why didn't anyone ever know of this before now? Quite frankly I'm not sure if I believe your story."

The redhead huffed, losing his cool under her harshest words yet. "Well, quite frankly I'm not sure if I care what you think of my 'story'. Where is Ansem? Where is the Wise Man? It's his decision, not yours."

The brunette woman bristled, looking angry and like she wanted to snap but she sighed eventually and was quiet for a moment, looking toward the sky and closing her eyes. "Ansem… Our leader has left us. May his soul be resting in paradise." When she opened her eyes again she looked strongly at Axel, in control. Axle noticed for the first time that she was wearing pristine white. "So no, Axel. It IS my decision and I would request that you close your mouth and just listen."

When he did, after a long stare-off in which Axel lost miserably, Aerith regard Zexion who had been watching the whole exchange quietly, wondering what he got himself into. "Who are you?"

"Um. I-- My Name is Zexion Gray. I'm one of Axel's friends…."

"And why do you deserve to be here, Zexion?"

He paused, blinking at her question, wondering if she was being mean. Her clear soft eyes said nothing but didn't seem to have malicious intent in them either. "I….I… I don't think I do?" He offered weakly. "Axel said that this was a place that…you could let things go. But I don't," his brow furrowed and he was mostly talking to himself. "I'm not sure if I even want to. I mean---it's complicated."

"Indulge me them," she loftily said, disregarding his somber tone with a small cock of her head.

He paused, brow furrowed as Zexion regarded her and as he thought of what he should say, not wanting to give away too much. "I… Axel and I…We lost a friend a year ago. A great friend," he said weakly. Great was an understatement when talking about Lexaeus. "I watched him die…. I never got over it. It's always been a shadow hanging over me, every second of the day. I made my choices based off what I thought he would want all the time and I'm just now realizing how miserable I really was. This is really the first decision I've made for myself. Maybe I don't deserve to be here," he told her, glancing up to meet her calm, wise face. "But I'm here."

Aerith's face gave nothing away as she digested his words, picking up on the genuine sorrow. Her dark green eyes glanced over them, picking out every detail to support her next words. "Indeed. You're here. But how did you come to _be_ here? The trail from Twilight City to here is very, very long. Especially on foot," she pointedly looked at their dirt covered sneakers. "It would take hours. And that's if you knew where you were going. But, Axel, you've only been on the ride once. There's no way you could have possibly known all the paths to take, all the winding roads to follow, or know when you've made it."

"There's something you're keeping from me," Aerith said, eyes narrowed, mouth set in a hard line. Both men forced their faces blank. "Who exactly are you two? The truth, this time."

"Aerith," Axel floundered, trying to find a good excuse somewhere, something to say, some alibi, another lie to tell her.

"Don't lie to me. Don't you dare lie to me. After what you've put me and Roxas and everyone else through worrying about you, after we gave you a home, after he gave you his _heart_, don't you dare lie to me."

Again at his name, Axel's heart broke, guilt completely riding him. She was right, after all. After all the lies he already said, all the fake smiles while he documented everything they said, after being a spy in their perfect world, it would be disastrous to continue keeping them up, especially when he just wanted to leave that whole life behind him.

"My name is Axel O'Hara," he said slowly, watching as Zexion's eye went wide when he realized Axel was going to tell the truth, gulping. "And I…I'm a former agent of the FBI…"

And so he told her everything. Axel was surprised at how easy it was, to get everything off his chest. Aerith didn't say a word the whole time, listening with guarded eyes the entire time, nothing giving away her true thoughts and feelings. Here and there Zexion would but in, telling her that every record of Sunshine Fields was inaccessible to the public and that none of which had anything that would incense another agent to investigate again.

When they were done, after Axel told her that his mission was over and he had to leave or else things would be suspicious, after he told her he planned to come back anyway and brought Zexion with him, things were quiet.

The redhead and his friend fidgeted under her cool stare, her silence somewhat cold and distant.

Then she sighed, a sounded almost like she was breathing out all her worries, thoughts, anger, sadness. When Aerith looked at them she offered a slight smile. "You know… My husband, whom, well I guess you already know this but, my husband died a long time ago… He used to call me Aeris." Brown hair, out of her usual braid and flowing free, swung as she slightly shook her head and smiled to herself. "It's… Sort of a joke. We met when we where children. My mother used to own a flower shop and his mother would come in a lot. They became friends easily when they realized that they had children around the same age.

"Well, when I met him, Zack had just lost his front teeth. He couldn't say my name right. He said 'Aeris'. It became his nickname for me and he continually used it even twenty years later," she smiled sadly, eyes going off into the distance. "If I had know what would happen, I would have… I would have cherished those moments with him even more. But what can you do?" Aerith, who normally looked so happy and peaceful in general looked like she might break, the smile on her face not fooling anyone.

"I loved him and he died. That's just what happens sometimes. And every time I go back into that city, the place where he died, I sometimes tell people to call me Aeris, just to hear it once in awhile, just to relive that little part of my life again just so I know that it really happened. Sometimes I hate that city with a passion," she laughed. "I hate it so much that I can't wait to leave, to come back here where I'm Aerith all the time. I understand your actions, somewhat.

"Not perfectly of course," Aerith frowned, eyes becoming hard again. "I don't think I will ever be able to look at you the same way, knowing you spied on us, gave away our names and our life. And also knowing what you've done for us. If you hadn't, if it were someone else. We might not be here. You've saved us."

"I…" Axel searched for the right words to say but found none. What do you say to that? What could he say that wouldn't sound insincere?

"Thank you," Aerith sniffed, wiped her nose on her sleeve. "You've saved all of us, truly. I can't see any reason why I shouldn't accept you back into our lives considering what you've done, what you've given up to be here."

"So we can stay?" Axel exchanged a breathless smile with his friend, both dumbfounded at their luck, at the way the pieces fell together at the last second. "Zexion too?"

Aerith nodded. "Yeah. Yes, I would be happy to let him into our life as well. Don't worry," she said kindly. "I'll get someone to take good care of you. We don't let our brothers fall through the cracks." With several pops in her bones, she stood up, offering a hand to Zexion and leveling a heavy stare at Axel. "I can look past your crimes against us but I have to acknowledge these crimes too. And you have to as well. Go find him, Axel," she said solemnly as she took Zexion by the wrist, gently leading him outside. "He's been waiting."

The brunette then smiled gently at Zexion, who was quite worried about leaving Axel all of a sudden. "Never fear. You'll see him again soon. Come, we must find Demyx. He'll mentor you for the next few months until you can stand on your own feet."

Axel almost wanted to laugh, knowing how Demyx's and Zexion's personalities would clash horribly or greatly together, but he was too distracted by his own thoughts to really think about it, sitting cross-legged for a few long moments, worried out of his mind.

On one hand, he was dying desperately to see him, to see Roxas, and on the other he would do anything to not see him. Axel bit his lip, thinking of the way Roxas must have looked when he saw that he wasn't there that morning, how he must have felt after he discovered Axel was no where to be found at all. He thought about the days that had come after, how each one was another day that Axel didn't come back to him.

The days added up, Axel thought. Roxas must hate him for leaving without a word, for not saying anything, for abandoning him in the middle of the night.

Oh god, the redhead fretted, what Roxas must think of him.

Roxas could hate him, Roxas could despise him for the rest of their lives, but he couldn't not go to Roxas, he couldn't not run out of Aerith's home.

He couldn't not break out into run through the maze of colorful tents, trying to remember his way back to the one place he really felt at home.

He couldn't not be hopeful as he turned a corner and saw it, lighter than the others, brighter like the beacon it was.

Axel couldn't not go to Roxas, couldn't quell the loud beating of his heart if he wanted to, couldn't do anything that didn't bring him back to Roxas eventually.

Unlike what he feared, Roxas was not up, didn't immediately know when Axel was at his door, fully awake with scathing remarks for the redhead that cut deeper than any knife could. It was well into the night and everyone, which included Roxas as well, were sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware.

Roxas didn't stir when Axel came in, slight flutter of the cloth loud to his own ears as it fell back into place. He didn't murmur or suddenly awake when Axel knelt down, looking intently at him, face scrunched up as he tried to hold back the surge of emotion that suddenly flooded him. Roxas didn't open his eyes when the redhead caressed his face nor when he pushed back a lock of soft hair that fell into his eyes.

It was only when Axel took a deep breath, calming himself and stomping out all if his nerves, and lowered himself down until he and Roxas were side by side, nuzzling the crook of his neck and pulling him a bit closer, did Roxas stir.

It was just a slight grumble, even deep in his unconscious protesting to being moved when he was sleeping so peacefully, but it was enough to bring him to consciousness or at least half-consciousness. Slowly, Roxas blinked opened his eyes several times, eventually ending up with them more closed than open, squinting into the dark.

Roxas didn't exactly know what was going on, but he sort of knew that there just _was_ something going on. He squirmed, mumbling incoherently and felt the body next to his, arm draped over his waist and the hot breath on his neck. When he turned his head around, it was slowly, lethargically, and Roxas was blinking stupidly as he tried to comprehend why exactly Axel was suddenly laying beside him.

The blond turned fully around, clumsily moving to face Axel, flopping down with a dull _thump _when the deed was accomplished. Blue eyes stared at him, blinking slowly once, twice, three times before he whispered loudly, smiling a little to himself, "Am I dreaming?"

Axel scooted forward, knocking their foreheads together gently, noses almost touching at the angle, and staying there, looking into sleepy light blue eyes. "No," he whispered, leaning forward a little to brush their lips against each other. "No, you're not dreaming."

"I missed you," Roxas confessed, eyes closing, calmed by Axel's answer and close to falling asleep again. "I thought you weren't coming back."

The redhead placed another short kiss, this time to the top of his nose. "I keep my promises. I'll always come back to you, Rox. Always."

Roxas said nothing back, chest rising and descending at steady intervals as he faded back into sleep again. His eyelashes fell against his cheeks in a just short of stunning way. Axel pressed his lips against his eyes before tugging the blond closer and falling asleep too, at peace, at home.

---

"_Brothers, Sisters, please welcome back our brother, brought back to us. And welcome in our new brother come to us anew…"_

_

* * *

_

Final chapter. It's _**done**_. Thanks to everyone who read this, to everyone who kept reading it, to everyone who reveiwed and even to everyone who didn't review. You all rock and really made this fun to write. Really, without you guys, this probably wouldn't have made it this far at all. I wish it would have gone a little farther but towards the end of writing the last few chapters I really just lost 60% the passion for it. This was my lesser loved baby, but I still loved it. I'm so glad I'm gotten this far with it and I'm so glad it's done. Thanks for sticking with me, I'm gonna miss all of you, and wow, I really cannot belive its done. I'm gonna be churning out some one-shots next, so keep an eye out for those, if you want.

**Little explanation: **for those of you wondering, the Sora/Riku part was in there a bunch of chapter ago as a little forshadowing. Sora fell in love with riku, axel fell in love with roxas, sora had to leave the mission, axel had to leave the mission, Sora eventually left everything to be with Riku, and Axel left everything (except for zex) to be with Roxas. Juts a little plot device I guess, to get things moving. because after sora left things went to shit with Kairi which put a strain on Zexion and her leaving and never coming back was really a deal breaker for when axel wanted to leave and asked him to come with. UMM. Yeah.

I have finals next week. Ew. So the next(last!!) chapter of Summer Boy, for those of you who read that as well, will be delayed as I have to study my buttocks off in order not to fail. It'll be up maybe next sunday? Hopefully.

SO. Review, please, tell me if you hated it, if you like it, if it was okay, if you want it to continue for three more years (not gonna happen), or if youre just happy Axel and Roxas had a pretty good ending. I know I'm kinda Ansem's dead. I always thought he was a douche most the time.


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